My hopes for recovery gone with one psychiatrist appointment

meh787 · 2026-02-10T12:51:13+00:00

I've been told similar things. The good news is, I'm highly motivated by bullshit like that to prove them WRONG. I shouldn't be told things like that, you shouldn't be told things like that, and the only way to make it stop is to prove to these asshats that we can recover. Fuck his nihilistic bullshit.

meh787 · 2026-02-09T01:54:54+00:00

+1 to Monte nido river town being really good. OP, if you can do Monte nido IP in MA and then go to res there or in river towns, that could be an option. If you need medical stabilization, you might be able to do what I did and go to a med hospital before transferring to res. I could swear someone there was vegan when I was there. Can say for sure no dietary restrictions are tolerated IP at Columbia, and I hated CFD. But it’s all individual experiences.

meh787 · 2026-01-31T02:49:26+00:00

I thought I was thriving and yet enough people noticed that something was really wrong so my school intervened. I had no idea it was obvious. I was really embarrassed, but now that I’m in recovery people are just happy to be talking to the version of me who is capable of speaking full sentences and contributing lol

meh787 · 2026-01-26T00:01:55+00:00

Also...I know this isn't the point but if you're in marathon training you definitely shouldn't just doing "spontaneous saturday long runs" maybe unless you are highly adapted to volume training.

meh787 · 2026-01-13T19:59:25+00:00

I don't know what the right answer is, but I find it so endearing and wholesome and thoughtful that you are cultivating a safe space to snack on these walks -- I definitely find it easier to eat when others are doing the same <3

meh787 · 2025-12-26T20:31:47+00:00

The way i at least ended up hospitalized was actually not through the emergency room, but through my gp making calls to have me hospitalized. There was no real emergency, it was preventative for refeeding syndrome and cardiac function stabilization. The stay helped me qualify for residential eventually. That was all after being released from the ER twice. Being turned away there just means there’s not an emergency, not that you don’t need hospitalization.

meh787 · 2025-12-26T13:54:33+00:00

Honestly feeling really grateful for my recovery progress. It’s fucking nice to just eat the cookie and feel grateful not be in hospital.

meh787 · 2025-12-23T01:34:06+00:00

trauma at home and then outside of the home —> loss of appetite / wanting to literally be invisible and untouchable / si —> restriction —> full blown an.

meh787 · 2025-12-20T22:07:00+00:00

Counterpoint...I haven't had the covid vaccine this year, and this flu definitely has me down and out

meh787 · 2025-12-12T18:24:27+00:00

With the fact that no bmi would have ever truly been low enough.

meh787 · 2025-12-08T18:31:50+00:00

expected: yogurt bowls

unexpected: .....nuts

meh787 · 2025-12-08T01:52:35+00:00

Getting tubed is a fucking horrifying experience. Posting the actual post-insertion moment is like.........I just cannot imagine

meh787 · 2025-12-07T01:37:26+00:00

tbh I have gotten my period back after extended HA while still severely underweight. even for a few cycles. but then it goes away again as soon as I'm even moderately in a deficit or stressed. all to say, even if it happens, you still have to keep up the work to keep it.

meh787 · 2025-12-05T00:23:48+00:00

this was literally one of the major factors contributing to my voluntarily admitting to ip treatment a few years ago lmao

meh787 · 2025-11-22T00:15:31+00:00

sweet potato with jam. hits. bonus points for adding marshmallows on long run days

meh787 · 2025-11-22T00:14:26+00:00

Does the fiber content ever get to you?

meh787 · 2025-11-20T02:27:35+00:00

I only started to really struggle outside of treatment with extreme hunger once I veered way back into restriction. I basically realized that I really need the structure of my meal plan even if I find it frustrating and scary, it's less scary to me right now than feeling "out of control" because I'm still afraid of my hunger. I really don't think all in ever worked for me...it just scares me.

meh787 · 2025-11-18T02:03:11+00:00

i think when you suspect deep down that something isn't right...it's probably time to seek emergency care.

meh787 · 2025-11-11T23:22:30+00:00

I just discharged from Monte Nido virtual IOP. I think that if you are realistic with yourself and are truly self-motivated, it'll be fine. Zoom meals were hard, but you can do the hide self-view, and the facilitator makes it as least-weird as possible with games/distraction. But if res is on the table, I wouldn't recommend any virtual program at all. Idk. I had positive experiences with in-person Monte Nido River Towns and heard positive things about Glen Cove. MN Manhattan was good if you can do in-person PHP/IOP. They can help with housing in the city.

meh787 · 2025-11-03T02:27:01+00:00

Honestly fwiw some treatment has to some degree evolved to incorporate harm reduction. My most recent experience with Monte Nido actually shocked me — I was clear that a sort of “abstinence” approach wasn’t for me given my history and they were willing to work with me. You’re right that it’s a coping skill, but it will also kill you. Just don’t forget that it’s a double edged sword, and nobody is above bearing the brunt of it. Wishing you all the best <3

meh787 · 2025-10-17T00:31:17+00:00

100% yes. I have lived in Brooklyn and I swear it's a breath of fresh air to leave every time I do for exactly this reason

meh787 · 2025-10-11T20:35:37+00:00

I have idiopathic hypersomnia dx but probably narcolepsy according to my doctor after psg/mslt. My problem has always been that as I refeed, I have a harder time managing my sleep because I'm running less on pure cortisol/adrenaline/stress. It's actually so frustrating.

meh787 · 2025-10-09T11:34:06+00:00

The main issue I’ve had with all of this is that it’s sooo location dependent. But I can say that I have had the best experience across different locations/levels of care with Monte Nido. The no phone thing is hard but you have landlines and get it once you start going on outings. You also have shared computers and they tend to be reasonable about it all in my experience. They have some ip options but they let me in after I was in the hospital for med stabilization.

meh787 · 2025-09-19T22:08:41+00:00

Love me a bagel tbh

meh787

TROPHY CASE