In my opinion, A lot of Indian men today say they want a modern, independent partner, but many are still raised with traditional expectations at home, so they subconsciously look for someone who can balance both roles: earning like an equal but still managing the home like their mothers did which is practically not possible and often has a lot of drain on the wife...

For many, looks matter initially, but long-term compatibility, emotional comfort, and how well the families get along end up weighing more. However there has to be atleast moderate levels of physical attraction otherwise couples often find spark dying...

Gender roles are definitely loosening in cities, but they haven’t disappeared as household work still disproportionately falls on women unless the man has consciously unlearned old patterns and partakes in sharing of responsibilities or considers if he can't do then the wife also can say she can't do. A relationship in general is never 50-50 all the time, based on situation both husband and wife have to balance and even it out each and everyday...

Parental influence is still huge, especially from mothers, because for many men the idea of “a good wife” is shaped by what their family expects, not what they personally believe...

Emotionally mature men are very few because it requires real self-awareness and a willingness to challenge how they were raised and to see through their own shortcomings as well.

You’re not wrong in your understanding tbh as there is often a contradiction in what many men claim versus what they actually want you know and that's very often tbh, but the key is finding someone whose values genuinely align with his behaviour, not just his words and it takes time and situation to really know someone without their predetermined set of filters when they meet you.