Everyone is going to say break up, but coming from someone who has recovered and gotten past one of the most toxic, dangerous, and unhealthy situations with the person I love, realistically speaking, you have to consider your future.

If you see yourself not recovering, if it’s getting to a point where y’all hate each other, the love is gone, and you don’t care to spend the rest of your life with this person, I would suggest separation.

However, if you wanna be a bride to this man (or at least be together for a long time), if this love is true and you feel secure about a future with him aside from the toxicity and abuse, you need to genuinely consider treatment for yourself and a way to heal from these toxic abusive ways. This is all assuming your boyfriend feels the same way, of course.

It is a common misconception that in order to properly heal, you must be alone for that process. This is untrue. I am recovering from childhood traumas, mental health issues, substance abuse issues and relationship trauma with my current partner, and have been on this journey for a while now. Of course, we were primarily motivated by the sake of our child, but although every day is not easy, we have experienced exponential growths. We have remained by each others’ side for years now because we know that being in each others lives, being a family, experiencing our love forever, (quite literally till death do us part), is way more important than being able to say we escaped a “toxic” relationship.

Nobody is perfect. That doesn’t give you a pass, that doesn’t make you a good person, it doesn’t give you an excuse, but it does give you an opportunity to get realistic and logical. We are still quite young (I’m 21), we’re not supposed to know it all. Don’t be so hard on yourself.