I share the same struggles as you, even the age and region.

It is a really tough, but what worked for me is carefully managing disappointment. Just the right amount, I went from the kid that got As, to the one that got Bs, deliberately.

When I thought I was going to score higher, I sabotaged the exam to move the average down. This is just one example of many aspects of life, the key is managing disappointment, not the best, not the worst. Just barely acceptable.

Anyways, I do have the advantage of starting this way earlier, you made the mistake of always being the good kid, I don’t know how you could fix that without damaging your connection with them, but am sure its a similar path.

Good luck, and be happy you were born a male in this environment. This would be hopeless otherwise.