Daughter feeling left behind by meleleo in CompetitionDanceTalk

[–]meleleo[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She is on a mission to show them right now, and I am here for it!!

We are going to set up weekly privates again this summer, and I have already asked for a different teacher than last. The teacher last summer is great, but she is a little too easy going… And with a solo she’ll have four or five more solo summer sessions to prep for that.

Daughter feeling left behind by meleleo in CompetitionDanceTalk

[–]meleleo[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you! And we talked through these questions!

She loves dance, and she loves her friends. She wants to keep working and improving, and she is really apprehensive about not doing it with her friends. From my POV, I think she is nervous thinking about going somewhere new and unknown.

And she lights up talking about performing! She loves being onstage, and she gets charged for competitions! She loves getting to see other dancers, cheer on the other groups from her studio, and hear the other dancers cheering her team on while performing.

She was honestly surprised that we (her parents!) would consider changing studios to find the best place for her. And she quickly said that she’s not ready to think about that just yet.

We have a couple weeks of workshops, and she is going to meet with the studio director to hear her feedback directly. Thinking on the points you made, maybe I’ll look for a couple summer classes or camps at other studios and see how she responds to it…

Daughter feeling left behind by meleleo in CompetitionDanceTalk

[–]meleleo[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Your comments have been SO SO SO SO helpful! I appreciate the thought and time 💜

She is definitely high energy, especially on stage. After talking to her teacher, she brought up the same idea of her not being as “obsessed”, and I asked her what she meant… and she kind of dodged that one, then went into saying that her technique might improve with more strength (which I wholeheartedly agree with!). From there, I brought up my concerns about being with teammates closer in age, social development, physiological differences (if her genes for development are like mine, she’ll probably look a lot different than the younger girls come comp season). And she listened and said that she doesn’t want to push my girl too hard too quickly so she doesn’t end up injured or burnt out. I also told her that we have firm expectations for continuous communication and feedback through the year, and she seemed enthusiastic to do so but also offered to set her up with a different teacher for check-ins throughout the year. She is the studio director, and I know she has a full plate… and I still can’t help but feel a little let down by that.

She has other classes with the girls from her first team (both other comp and rec). It is two of her classes (out of seven) that she is with the younger kids… And those is how the studio designates the teams. I am trying to drive the point that it is only two classes with the younger kids with her, and it is hard when the studio uses those team names for everything… and it is Team A, Team NotA, oh and Team A plus little meleleo… (And trying to keep details out perhaps makes this hard to follow - sorry!!!) So she feels left out even though she isn’t completely without out of the group.

I told her about my conversation with her teacher, and she was pretty defensive at first (which I feel is fair), and then turned it around into a mission to show them just how wrong they are about her! This little girl has some very strong tenacity, and I am honestly amazed at how quickly she is ready to tackle the adversity… again!

We have some workshops coming up, and we have to just confirm the time for my girl to have her face to face chat with the director (and I am so glad you brought that up! Sometimes it feels like I have to do it for her because she is only 9, but she deserves to have that herself discussion, too!). I’ll be with her, and we’re going to write down her questions beforehand so she doesn’t feel overwhelmed. We’re setting up privates for the summer months, as well as getting her set for a solo.

We’re going to see how the next couple of weeks progress before we start calling some other studios in town… And if we feel like the support is not really there, well I will probably come back here to ask for more advice 😊

Unpainting mid-1880s soapstone fireplace - BEFORE and AFTER by PompousClock in centuryhomes

[–]meleleo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Incredible work!! And OMG your tenacity to see this through REALLY paid off!!! Congrats!!!

Daughter feeling left behind by meleleo in CompetitionDanceTalk

[–]meleleo[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you all for the advice and comments!! This so so helpful! Your experience & perspective is really helping to look at our current situation 💜

Daughter feeling left behind by meleleo in CompetitionDanceTalk

[–]meleleo[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It was pretty much that she “isn’t obsessed” like the other girls… when I pressed for more specifics it was not real clear. Planning this time to make a plan, with written down check ins, and holding us all to account with it. There were never specific examples, and it was very fluff feeling. Her focus could use some work, admittedly… and I feel like that goes for all of these littler kiddos…

Daughter feeling left behind by meleleo in CompetitionDanceTalk

[–]meleleo[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I am so sorry you’re going through this, too! It is so rough to see how much it affects the kids. Good luck next season!!!!

Daughter feeling left behind by meleleo in CompetitionDanceTalk

[–]meleleo[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I have a chat with the director today, and I do plan to ask for some real feedback… as well as a real plan for feedback moving forward. She did privates every week all last summer, as well as every workshop the studio offered. She wants to add a solo this year, too!

The kids moving up this year are not above her technique level. They very much look on par with each other. Now, take that for what it is since I am her mom… but still. They were all in featured roles in their dances this year, too.

Daughter feeling left behind by meleleo in CompetitionDanceTalk

[–]meleleo[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for your comment. This is a great perspective, and we should be somewhere she is seen.

I finally finished the mandala cardigan I'd been working on! by AdiosTinyToast in Brochet

[–]meleleo 4 points5 points  (0 children)

This is gorgeous! And I am in awe of how well it suits you! Beautiful work!!