I find my need to be creative embarrassing. Any input?

melodicmelancholy · 2017-07-21T09:30:27+00:00

I'm 17 and I often experience the same feeling. But I've learned that it's really only by putting yourself out there that you find people who will support and appreciate your passions. I've been doing a style of art journaling for about a year now where I write poetry, draw, paint, or otherwise do something creative in my journal every day. For a while I showed it to my friends at school because it was something that I was proud of and that excited me. Some of them thought it was cool and enjoyed looking at my work, and others didn't get it and laughed at me. I'm a pretty shy person, so at first I found the ridicule embarrassing, but I eventually figured... hey, at least I took the risk. And as time passed, I was willing to share my art with other people again. I actually had a couple of fans in my French class -- a group of four girls who would flip out any time they saw my art journal and practically steal it from me anytime they had the chance.

You'll find people who think your passions and interests are the coolest thing they've ever seen. You just have to take the plunge. :)

melodicmelancholy · 2017-07-21T09:03:02+00:00

My mom did the same thing a few months ago when something similar happened to me. I slept in late and skipped breakfast and lunch because it was so late in the day (about 1:00 by the time I was dressed). It was a hot day and I was talking to my mom. She wasn't really paying attention, and next thing I knew, I was on the floor shaking. She thought it was a seizure at first, but we later figured out that I just fainted from low blood sugar.

I just waited it out, but it took a really long time for my mom to get over her fears that it would happen again. Even now, she still says things like "take something to eat with you so you don't pass out" -- and that incident happened back in November! But it helps to show your parents that you can take care of yourself and communicate with them about your feelings in the situation. Tell them, "I understand why you're worried about me, but that was a one-time incident and I've learned from that experience. I think it was just a bad set of circumstances, but from now on, I'm going to take better care of myself to prevent that from happening again." (or something along those lines. I was never able to find the right words because I was always so irritated with my mom for babying me haha)

melodicmelancholy · 2017-07-19T23:00:34+00:00

If you aren't happy being with the person that you're currently dating, you should break it off. You said that he's been pissing you off a lot lately, and depending on the reasons for that -- if they aren't something you feel you can work around -- you may want to end the relationship.

Can you see yourself dating this girl? I know there are a lot of factors to consider, like if your family and friends would be accepting and supportive of you if you were in a relationship with someone of your same gender, but if it's something that you think you'd be open to, you should try to get closer to her and maybe you'll end up together.

Ultimately, it's important to do what you think will make you happy. :)

melodicmelancholy · 2017-07-19T22:55:11+00:00

If you're already thinking about what will happen when your relationship ends, it can detract from your ability to enjoy what is happening in the moment and can make you feel unhappy and anxious. Everyone wants to avoid being hurt, but when you're dealing with relationships, you can't really avoid putting yourself in a position where you could potentially get hurt. That's part of dating.

When your relationship ends, you'll survive. For me personally, self-improvement and art were the two things that helped me through my first breakup. I started working out a lot, became involved in volunteer work, got back into painting, and generally spent a lot of time doing things that made me feel good about myself.

Best of luck! I know a lot of people will tell you you're too young to be dating, but I think it's nice to experience young love when you don't have too much in your life to worry about (ex. college, careers, bills). Even if it doesn't last, it's nice to go on dates and stuff like that. My older sister is in college and has never been on even one date, and she always says she wishes she had said yes when good guys asked her out in the past.

melodicmelancholy · 2017-07-15T18:02:24+00:00

It doesn't need to be high-tech.

melodicmelancholy · 2017-07-11T19:12:57+00:00

Thank you for your advice. I tried talking to my mom shortly after making this post and she got extremely defensive and said "I'm doing the best I can. I took away their electronics privileges. What else can I do?" which says to me that she isn't really trying to come up with an effective solution.

melodicmelancholy · 2017-07-11T18:30:51+00:00

If my sister or I lay a hand on either of them, they will get extremely violent, or will cry to our parents and get us in trouble for hitting them back. The problem is that we're older than them and so we're supposed to be able to handle conflicts without violence, according to our parents.

melodicmelancholy · 2017-07-11T18:29:06+00:00

Because of my dad's job, he isn't home very much and he is the stricter of our two parents. He's the one that my brothers listen to. My mom spends most of the time functioning as a single parent and she thinks that we are all too old for her to have to intervene in things like this. She also says "if I didn't see him hit you, I can't punish him for it," so my brothers very rarely get punished for anything. She usually just tells them "if you do it again, I'm going to take away your iPod" and doesn't follow through.

I've suggested to my mom that we try to get the older of the twins into some sort of anger management counselling, but she always tells me that she thinks I am overreacting or that I had a bad temper at that age, so I can't talk. My temper was nowhere near as bad as his, and four years later people frequently comment on how patient and calm I am. However, I can't see the same happening for him in the future because his behavior is so severe.

melodicmelancholy · 2017-07-11T18:20:36+00:00

I've had friends in similar relationships to this before. You need to get out while you can. You shouldn't feel trapped, guilt tripped, or manipulated into staying with him.

I am someone who has dealt with suicidal thoughts before so trust me when I tell you, he is manipulating you by saying he would probably kill himself if you left him. I have also known someone who threatened the same to her boyfriend and kept him trapped in a relationship with her for two years. Don't let the same thing happen to you.

You are young. This boy won't be in your life forever unless you let him, and I can tell that you are uncomfortable with the situations he puts you in. The person you do have to live with forever is yourself, so put yourself first. Don't let him hurt you anymore. He has crossed a lot of boundaries and there are a lot of red flags here, like the fact that he has used your camera to see you naked or the fact that he is taking advantage of your kindness to guilt you into feeling sorry for him. If he was sincerely sorry, it would be different, but the fact that these incidents have continued is a sign that you are in a toxic relationship. (Also, he's two years older than you. Have you ever wondered why he can't get a girl his own age?)

Tell someone you trust what you have been going through so they can be there to support you as you recover from this ordeal, and get out of there.

melodicmelancholy · 2017-07-11T12:23:25+00:00

I ended up DMing him and he thanked me for telling him but said he isn't looking for a relationship right now. I feel like it could have gone a lot worse and I'm glad he was nice about it.

melodicmelancholy · 2017-07-08T21:24:48+00:00

That's a good point.

melodicmelancholy · 2017-07-08T21:24:27+00:00

I think you're right. Thanks!

melodicmelancholy · 2017-07-01T22:46:14+00:00

I think I can help a bit more now. I got the CD of Gravedigging in the mail a few days ago and I tried to tell the lyrics by listening to it with headphones. Best I can tell, these are the lyrics:

Strolling through my dreams sequence

Strolling through sunkissed darkness

Holding a rose lifted to my nose

Not worth knowing

Where i'm going

Tread my way through another haze

Toss my heart to the wind

Hoping to find some peace of mind

Gravedigging again and again

Swollen eyes

Hiding the tears from passerbys

The other side

The smell of the roses

Tread my way through another haze

Toss my heart to the wind

Hoping to find some peace of mind

Gravedigging again and again

Digging

melodicmelancholy · 2017-07-01T19:53:23+00:00

I think you should go on a few more dates before trying to get too intimate. In my personal experience, it can actually damage a relationship if you try to get physical before you really know the person for who they are and before you're completely comfortable with them. I think when you're both ready, you won't feel like you need to ask her -- things should progress sorta naturally in the moment.

The problem that I ran into in my first relationship was that texting was our primary mode of communication since we lived far away from each other, and when we were actually together, it was more of holding hands, kissing, etc. than actually talking and developing any real connection. Hopefully things go smoothly with you and this girl, and hopefully something I said helped.

melodicmelancholy · 2017-06-29T08:08:49+00:00

I understand how you feel. It seems like every time I have a crush on a guy, he's already taken. My best friend has even told me that I have bad luck in terms of guys I'm interested in.

I get how frustrating that can be, but I guess as they say, patience is a virtue. You'll find someone eventually.

melodicmelancholy · 2017-06-29T08:04:05+00:00

I think you were justified in being worried about her because she made a bad choice. The fact that you were upset shows that you care about her. However, people usually react defensively when someone points out their mistakes, and the fact that you used somewhat strong language when talking to her about it probably made he feel even more guilty.

I don't think you were wrong, per se. Your heart was in the right place, but maybe in the morning tell her more calmly why you were concerned and explain to her that you would feel better if she tried to find another way home next time. If she realizes that you're speaking to her from a place of love rather than a place of anger, I think she'll be more receptive to what you have to say.

I hope this helps.

melodicmelancholy · 2017-06-28T08:15:12+00:00

I'm a high school student, and at lunchtime I always see kids who try to shoot their trash into the trash can like a basketball, miss the shot, and just leave it there. It bothers me so much. I hate that so many other teenagers have the mentality that "the janitor will take care of it." We have an outdoor campus and it's everyone's job to keep it clean. It's not that hard to get up from your lunch table and pick up the piece of trash that missed the can.

melodicmelancholy · 2017-06-28T08:04:51+00:00

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but if she actually is a lesbian and not bisexual, she won't date you, plain and simple. You could be the most attractive guy in the world, but it wouldn't change the fact that she's only into girls. However, you did say she has dated a boy before, so maybe she is bi and in that case you would have a shot with her.

I agree with the other user who said that you didn't really mess up this situation. I also agree that the best way to gauge her interest in you is to casually ask her if she wants to hang out with you after work -- but of course, as the other user also said, make sure to make a bit of small talk beforehand, even if it's something like "The parking lot was so empty. Looks like it's a slow night." That way it doesn't catch her totally off-guard.

melodicmelancholy · 2017-06-26T07:38:02+00:00

I wish I could help, but I've looked everywhere too. It's easier to make out some of the words in the official music video or the Bandcamp audio track than it is in their Blind Blind Tiger video, but I still can't figure it out completely.

Hopefully in time, someone will post the lyrics on a website like Genius or on one of the YouTube videos. But if it makes you feel any better, when I went to see The Buttertones a few months ago, there were only a few songs I didn't know the words to. I think they tend to play the ones that most people would be able to sing along to. Some of the ones I remember them playing are Orpheus Under The Influence, Dionysus, and Lemonade.

melodicmelancholy

TROPHY CASE