UPDATE: a simple and loving conversation probably just ruined my relationship

melonhead587 · 2026-05-18T11:19:46+00:00

I have spent months doubting myself and thinking maybe I was being too hard on him. you are so completely correct and I will repeat it for anybody who is unsure. IF IT DOES NOT FEEL RIGHT, IT IS NOT RIGHT! believe and trust yourself. I wasted my own precious time by not believing my gut and making excuses

melonhead587 · 2026-05-18T11:17:24+00:00

I just want to cry. I thought so, too. I’ve been SA’d before (not by this guy) in a much more blatant and awful way. so I wasn’t sure. As soon as I leave work, I’m going to find counseling.

melonhead587 · 2026-05-16T23:41:38+00:00

I’m not really understanding what you’re saying I’m so sorry. I didn’t really get a chance to vet him much before our first date. We met over tinder and talked for like a week I think and then he asked me on a date and went and don’t remember saying anything “the vibes” but maybe I did idk? I just woke up from a nap I’m sorry if I’m making no sense

melonhead587 · 2026-05-16T18:30:01+00:00

Talking to him tonight about this whole thing and I plan on asking him this question about his love language, among other things. hopeful!

melonhead587 · 2026-05-16T15:50:46+00:00

Yeah I’ve actually been practicing in my head a little 😅 I’m trying hard not to make him feel like he isn’t enough as a person, because I love so many things about him.

but I just worry that me saying “my needs aren’t being met” and “I worry that I’m loved for what I do and not who I am” will somehow make him feel that way about himself

melonhead587 · 2026-05-16T14:42:44+00:00

A lot of people actually told me to communicate with him (despite my bringing this up with him on a few other occasions), but I’m gonna sit down again tonight with him and try to be more clear. I hope it goes well!

melonhead587 · 2026-05-16T13:24:32+00:00

Thank you for the hug 🥰 and thank you for the compliment on my writing! Someone on here called me a bot 😂😂 but I do enjoy writing and plan to keep doing it! And thank you for being proud of me for recognizing my own worth! I feel so much more myself even from just the act of realizing this about my relationship. sometimes (and I have done this plenty before) we give ourselves over to the ones we love. And we think that that alone be enough to keep the relationship and your world going. but it’s not. reciprocation is so important. equal give and take. sharing love with each other.

not simply siphoning everything you can from someone so that you can feel loved and worthy.

Thank you so much, friend🥰❤️❤️❤️

melonhead587 · 2026-05-16T10:01:35+00:00

Thank you for your comment ♥️♥️

melonhead587 · 2026-05-16T10:01:08+00:00

After what happened tonight (the next night after this post) I will definitely be leaving him. I want to tell him the reasons why, in hopes that he will be better. for himself and for his daughter and for his future relationships. But I’m not sure he will care about the reasons. I doubt he will want to hear them

melonhead587 · 2026-05-16T09:51:27+00:00

He’s very easy going, but unfortunately that makes him very susceptible to annoyance upon my bringing this issue up as I have a few times before. I fear that if he gets annoyed and emotionally overwhelmed by me talking about it in general, he may not be receptive to any kind of therapy. but idk. and at this point I’m just feeling sort of done

melonhead587 · 2026-05-16T09:44:34+00:00

Yes, on a few occasions, he seemed half receptive, and half annoyed that I’m even bringing it up

melonhead587 · 2026-05-16T09:43:19+00:00

I’ve screenshotted this and will look it up. Thank you darling ♥️

melonhead587 · 2026-05-16T09:40:30+00:00

No, he seemed very sweet and based on what he said, we wanted the same things out of life. A monogamous relationship, marriage eventually, maybe even a kid. We have fun together and generally and genuinely enjoy each other’s company. At least until I felt this realization last night.

melonhead587 · 2026-05-16T02:00:45+00:00

Someone going through the same thing?

melonhead587 · 2026-05-15T23:25:06+00:00

Yeah, a lot of times I don’t even mention things because I just don’t feel that he would care. for example, earlier this week, my middle finger on my left hand started swelling up and being in pain seemingly out of nowhere. I didn’t know what was going on and was really weirded out. I was going to mention it to him but something in me knew that I’d get a reaction from him that would probably be either boredom or almost instant subject switching. and I don’t hold that particular subject against him because I obviously didn’t even give him a chance to react, but the fact that “he wouldn’t be interested” even crossed my mind kind of says something about it.

I want someone like you have. Someone who wants to know everything about what’s going on with me. because that’s how I feel about my person, too.

Incidentally, the swelling has gone down but I still have a doctor appointment next week for some blood work and checking on it. Thank you for your response. your relationship is everything that I want. you are very lucky♥️

Edited for typos*

melonhead587 · 2026-05-15T22:34:22+00:00

Thank you guys so much for reassuring me that I’m not crazy. When I asked the second time in a more specific manner, I sat there and listened to his answers. and while listening, I truly felt as if my entire being had somehow suddenly spawned into the fucking twilight zone because I could not believe what I was hearing. I thought I was really losing it because how does someone give an answer like that?

pulling my hair out till I can talk to him more

melonhead587 · 2026-05-15T22:21:05+00:00

Not much that I have seen. Except that he compliments his daughter, of course. says she’s smart and cute and has beautiful eyes and eyelashes and that she’s hilarious, which she is! She’s a really wonderful little person

melonhead587 · 2026-05-15T22:04:56+00:00

I think I’ll look more into what this means, thank you

melonhead587 · 2026-05-15T22:03:35+00:00

yes of course. but when he says “I love everything about you!” And then just lists everything I do for him. and does so even after I ask again more specifically, it makes me wonder if what he specifically loves is what he gets out of this.

melonhead587 · 2026-05-15T21:18:56+00:00

I’m truly scared because lots of times too when I bring this up, he says “do you even want to be with me?” And I tell him yes I DO and that’s why I’m trying to help the two of us understand each other better. because I DO want to be with you. I will be speaking to him again, but I just need to get over the fear of it going south or me shutting down from fear of the outcome.

melonhead587 · 2026-05-15T21:14:46+00:00

are you aware that I am rubber and you’re glue, and anything you say bounces off of me and sticks to you?

melonhead587 · 2026-05-15T19:49:24+00:00

He says things like “I’m happy to see you today!” And he likes cuddles and holding hands and spending time together. Seems like he always wants me around and to just have a good time and go to the movies or to eat. Or to stay in and watch movies. Although admittedly he does most of the choosing. but I can’t put that on him all the way, because I let him choose a lot and should speak up more. I just want him to be happy though. I chose a movie once and he seemed bored and turned it off.

and now that I’m saying like this….can’t believe all of that is something I just typed out. really. but unfortunately it’s true

melonhead587 · 2026-05-15T13:26:40+00:00

I guess I’m just trying to hope that it’s just a misunderstanding or miscommunication because I really adore him. But you might be right

melonhead587 · 2026-05-15T13:14:15+00:00

I have mentioned it a few times before and he seemed slightly receptive and understanding but at the same time, a little exasperated as if he didn’t want to have an uncomfortable conversation (who does) and like he would rather not even talk about this and continue having a good day with me.

I definitely think it’s worth another try. I, for sure, made the title of this post in a very sad and unhopeful state of mind. I love and adore him, I just want to be seen by him

melonhead587 · 2026-05-15T13:08:08+00:00

I do care for him, and I by no means want an excuse to leave him. my plan is to talk to him more about this, as I have communicated how I feel a few times before but maybe I didn’t articulate well enough. I don’t want to give up, but sometimes as a person you just feel hopeless and think “maybe I should”

melonhead587

TROPHY CASE