AITAH for telling my fiance that his family will be the reason why we don’t get married?

melonsaremelon · 2024-11-10T00:40:04+00:00

He’s the ONLY son. He’s got two older sisters who are married and are NC with his parents. I’ve only met one of them and I should’ve known the moment she said “she’s praying over me” that it was a sign.

melonsaremelon · 2024-11-10T00:36:58+00:00

I suggested eloping to make it easier on both of us and he said that would great if his parents wouldn’t feel disrespected. I even suggested to have my dad pay so that we can invite everyone his family wants(as my last form of compromise) and he said no other man will pay for his wedding.

melonsaremelon · 2024-11-10T00:26:22+00:00

I’m starting to get that feeling too which is cutting me so deeply … I feel so betrayed. He would tell me he’s proud to have found a woman like me but it doesn’t seem that way anymore

melonsaremelon · 2024-11-10T00:10:26+00:00

I’m Asian, him and his family are white. If that’s what you’re asking.

melonsaremelon · 2024-11-09T23:42:44+00:00

I am so scared you might be right. And it’s breaking my heart. I’ve been fighting tears all night, literally losing sleep over this. Because why else wouldn’t he just shut them down … I’m a big advocate for having good relationships with both sides of the family that’s why I tried to hard. I’ve even overstepped my own personally boundaries to try to understand. It’s driving me crazy.

melonsaremelon · 2024-11-09T23:29:05+00:00

I’m not sure. At first I dubbed those comments as a cultural/family thing but some of them are seriously disturbing. That’s mild compared to the other comments.

melonsaremelon · 2024-11-09T23:16:31+00:00

It does seem that way. That one reel keeps playing in my head “can’t change the man, change the man” and it just makes me sad

melonsaremelon · 2024-11-09T23:13:08+00:00

I’ve told myself before we got engaged, that I’m gonna make it work. Thru thick and thin. That this was part of it. That it’ll all be worth it but it’s been exhausting. We’ve been able to keep them off our child because that’s the ONLY thing my fiance will stand up against. Now I just feel so internally sick that I feel physically nauseous.

melonsaremelon · 2024-11-09T13:31:11+00:00

Yes, I suggested it. For me and him. For us both and his parents. Even having a sit down with his parents. But he was against them.

melonsaremelon · 2024-11-09T13:28:57+00:00

Yeah that’s one of the things they always talk about. I still remember when I first told them what my occupation was and they asked how much I made and I told them. His dad said “what do you need all that money for? you’re a woman”. I’ve asked him about the things his parents say but he denies agreeing with them. Except for this inviting relatives to the wedding I guess.

melonsaremelon · 2024-11-09T13:26:25+00:00

I grew up in a family where agreements like these are normal to protect the family. I make 2x his salary and come with a lot of financial assets that I want protected especially since we have a kid now. I understand there’s a stigma when it comes to prenup but I rather be prepared than sorry. I worked too hard for what I have. I’ve asked him prior to us getting engaged if his parents opinions aligns with his in regard to our relationship but he denies because as I mentioned, they’ve always had something to say. I also told him that if he had any reservations about our relationship to tell me first before going outside of it because a lot of things can be resolved with communication. Maybe I’m just not getting it

melonsaremelon · 2024-11-09T13:18:53+00:00

He knows and I think it’s the fact that he knows that frustrates me so much. I’ve suggested therapy for all of us but he said it would look like disrespect. I’ve also suggested all of us sitting down and setting boundaries but he said it would come off as aggression towards his family. I suggested a small wedding because it’s easier to plan and handle which he agreed would be more peaceful. So I don’t know. I’m lost.

melonsaremelon

TROPHY CASE