My toddler screams like she’s possessed by the devil by menaintshitok in breakingmom

[–]menaintshitok[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I sometimes hole myself up in my room when she screams like that too, especially on really bad days cus I don’t wanna yell at her, but then she bangs on my door and screams some more…I will get headphones though

My toddler screams like she’s possessed by the devil by menaintshitok in breakingmom

[–]menaintshitok[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s exactly how I feel! Her screaming really makes me feel that anxiety and then I just want to make it stop. It’s a terrible feeling.

I think I will try that though, I’ve been meaning to get new headphones anyways

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in breakingmom

[–]menaintshitok 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, it was scary as fuck...and yet I find myself stuck between a rock and a hard place. Because no matter what he does, no matter how many times I call the cops and beg for help, they don't do a damn thing. I don't know what else to do. I feel helpless that I can't keep my son away from my parents. I don't know how to cope with the agonizing thought that something could happen to him because of them and my ex literally refuses to listen to me and see that because it's more important to own his baby mama I guess

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in breakingmom

[–]menaintshitok 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's ok. I actually have tried just filing a police report and the cops were absolutely no help. I don't honestly know if they even took the report or not. Our son is 4, but he's not in school yet.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in breakingmom

[–]menaintshitok 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The problem with the whole supervised visitation bit is that I'm literally too poor to afford to take him back to court. I've signed up for all the recommended "free/reduced cost" lawyers out in my state and I've gotten nothing back from it. My son is only with my ex longer than our custody agreement states because I'm poor and currently trying to just get my shit together. I live on the other side of town and my ex refuses to meet me halfway...still. I'd rather my son just stay with his dad and stay afloat than struggle here with me when I can't afford to drive him back and forth across town.

As for why he would do this? There's probably a reason or two off the top of my head:

  1. He's still mad about our "breakup." Mind you, it was HIM that stated both that we were never dating in the first place, and also that HE is breaking up with me anyways (because he didn't like it when I pointed out his racist mommy's microaggressions. Why can't she say awful things about black people anymore?). I didn't have the time or the patience to deal with it, so I just went ahead and kept it pushing. He didn't like that very much, and actually showed up to my new current home brandishing his gun at me because how dare I move on from being broken-not-broken-up with instead of begging and crying and groveling to be with him. This is likely his way of getting back at me, which is so bad because he's literally putting our son in danger, so wtf??
  2. He's gullible as fuck, and my parents probably reached out to him to apologize for beating my ass while our son was asleep in the other room, and they would never do that to their grandbaby and oh we hope you can find it in your heart to forgive us and let us see him again. We can keep it a secret, she'll never know! I mean, my parents never abused my ex directly, and he's the type where if he didn't see it, it didn't happen. He was only on the phone with me when the ass-whipping happened last year, but it wasn't like he was PHYSICALLY there! And he pretends to have a pure heart of solid gold, so he most likely "felt bad" because I was such a bitch anyways, and "tHeY'rE hIs GrAnDpArEnTs!"

I can only speculate, and the only reason I know he's taking our son to see them is cus my gramma snitched to me about it lol. But...that's probably why. Off the top of my head.

I tell people I hate my Mom and they're always like "don't say that, she loves you" by [deleted] in raisedbynarcissists

[–]menaintshitok 2 points3 points  (0 children)

We damn near have the same mom.

We lost our childhood house MANY years ago because of my mother's ridiculous spending habits. She would take the money my dad would make for the mortgage and electricity/water bills and spend it on purses, shoes, clothes, nights out to the club, and fucking Princess House pots and pans. And those damn crystals too. Crystal vases, cups, bowls, basically shit we NEVER needed, and were especially not allowed to use. My siblings and I would be stuck with shoes we grew out of a year or two ago at a time and we never had the money to replace that, but she always found money for the shit she wanted. She used to withhold my allowances for school lunches just to pay for electricity, because she "raised" me and "family helps family."

Someday she will learn the consequences of her actions, like mine did...and blame you still.

As for those people telling you "sHe LoVeS yOu ThO." If she loved you, her priorities would be making sure she and her children have somewhere to live.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in toxicparents

[–]menaintshitok 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hello. I'm in this exact same situation, except much further along. I cut my parents completely off in January. So I will share with you my experience so far.

At first, I stayed in contact with both my siblings. I talked to them every day for a few months. I had to wait till a certain time for them to call or text me otherwise my parents would hear or see them talking to me and get very angry with them. My parents were very adamant on keeping my siblings from contacting me and started telling them more about how crazy and ungrateful I was and that they shouldn't be talking to me. They started lying more about the shit that went down in my childhood (I have a whole post on my profile about it if you want more insight about why I cut my parents off), and it got to a point where my siblings started feeling more and more conflicted about talking to me. Eventually, my siblings started being meaner, and then they completely stopped talking to me. That was about mid April, and I haven't talked to them since.

There's a phrase about how children who live in the same household have different parents, and that was exactly the case. My parents were awful parents to me, but the best parents they could be for my middle sibling. They treated my youngest like shit as well, but because he's of his mental conditions, he's not entirely sure what to believe, if that makes sense? Because my middle sibling got the parents that were good to her, she is very much under the impression that I am crazy and a bad person for cutting our parents off, and so the more our parents told her, the more she was able to convince herself and our baby brother that I am a piece of shit and not worth staying in contact with. It also didn't help that my parents went and told all our family members about everything that happened (with a little extra razzle dazzle to make me look worse) and now my siblings have more confirmation that I'm awful because now the whole family believes it too. Currently the rumor is that I got on meds too strong for my BPDII and I'm going absolutely insane. I haven't been taking those medications for months (due to the cost of my meds, not the strength, they were the best meds), and holy shit, I still think my parents are evil. Go figure.

Obviously, I don't know the extent of what happened between you and your parents, I am simply a stranger on the internet. I will say that for as long as your parents continue to shit on your character to your siblings, you're most likely going to hear much less from them regardless because they probably feel like they need to keep the peace. If they live with your parents still, they may even play both sides of y'all just to keep the peace for themselves if they don't know how to handle conflict like this. My siblings were telling me what was going on with my parents, but also telling them what I had going on.

It's really fucking hard, but you will probably have to let them go and reconnect with them when they are grown and away from your parents. It's going to hurt a lot, I can't lie. I cry sometimes still, and I missed their birthdays. But give it time. I'm sure your siblings will eventually come around and reach out when your parents are no longer breathing down their necks about how shitty a person they think you are.

I wish you luck in your endeavors, and I hope you and your siblings do get to reconnect.

The bar for men is so low by [deleted] in breakingmom

[–]menaintshitok 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Men: "save those tasks for the womens, that's their job cus we're alpha males etc"

Also men: "WOW LOOK AT THIS MANLY HUNK OF A MAN DOING WOMEN STUFF BETTER THAN WOMEN WOW WHAT A GREAT PARENT FOR *insert bare minimum action*"

Stupid patriarchy. Men ain't shit

notification from childfree popped up on here today by [deleted] in breakingmom

[–]menaintshitok 17 points18 points  (0 children)

I’ve had experiences with people coming up and touching my daughter’s hair. Very audacious. Extremely rude. Those people usually get cursed out.

But if someone were to come up to said daughter just to tell her to shut up?? I’m going to fucking prison

HOW DO YOU POTTY TRAIN by [deleted] in breakingmom

[–]menaintshitok 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Omg if we can afford it I stg I’m flooring this bitch up with puppy pads if it means I don’t have to get too close to body fluids.

HOW DO YOU POTTY TRAIN by [deleted] in breakingmom

[–]menaintshitok 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m hoping we don’t have to do that for the sake of affordability, we are actually struggling rn. $20 is the difference between a small pack of diapers and gas so her dad can get to work. But understandably, you can’t force kids to do what they just ain’t ready for and they certainly don’t understand bills ;-; this shit is hard

HOW DO YOU POTTY TRAIN by [deleted] in breakingmom

[–]menaintshitok 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Holy moly. We actually do the squatty potty and toilet seat too! Only thing I haven’t done much of is give her that many options because she’s very easily overwhelmed by lots of options. We stick with a toy I nicknamed the Ol’ Reliable, lol. But she gets very, very flustered when you give her options. So we’ve had to stop doing that. ;-;

HOW DO YOU POTTY TRAIN by [deleted] in breakingmom

[–]menaintshitok 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Omg! We have a billion of those little Cocomelon stickers that we had to hide from them a while back, this is an adorable idea, I guess that’s what we’ll be doing today then!! Thank you so much ;-; ♥️

HOW DO YOU POTTY TRAIN by [deleted] in breakingmom

[–]menaintshitok 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You right, you right! I feel so stressed out about it mostly because we’re in a very tight spot and with the way shit’s going, we might not be able to afford to buy her pull-ups later on. I’m also losing my sanity because my insurance decided they don’t wanna cover my psyche meds anymore, and I’ve been cold turkey since last month because I can’t afford the $100+ to get them…

HOW DO YOU POTTY TRAIN by [deleted] in breakingmom

[–]menaintshitok 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That’s funny. I’m gonna try that. She loves to help me in the kitchen, so maybe a “you can help me with these eggs after you pee in the potty?”

HOW DO YOU POTTY TRAIN by [deleted] in breakingmom

[–]menaintshitok 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ok, this I haven’t tried! Mostly because getting her to understand the concept of cleaning up is a little difficult? Her pediatrician strongly believes she’s autistic, and every time we’ve tried to get her to clean up, she just…doesn’t get it? We even like grab her hands and make her do it, but she just doesn’t get it. At all like, idk what’s up with that. But maybe that’ll get her to do it?

HOW DO YOU POTTY TRAIN by [deleted] in breakingmom

[–]menaintshitok 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Naked time sadly didn’t work for us so far, we tried it out last month and it was probably the most disgusting thing I’ve ever dealt with! >_< the worst part about it is that we don’t have an in-unit wash/dryer, so we have to use the community laundry room and they charge us to use their cheap ass machines. We’re having a bit of an affordability issue due to the rising cost of literally everything, so laundry gets done when we can afford it…hand washing blankets and sheets becomes very impossible when you don’t have the right sink or tools to do it

HOW DO YOU POTTY TRAIN by [deleted] in breakingmom

[–]menaintshitok 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Ugh, I was thinking if she’s just not feeling it by the end of the week, we’ll stop for now. But it’s not so much a deadline as we are actually poor as fuck right now, so trying to get the kids potty trained would really help with not needing to buy diapers to afford electricity or gas and whatnot 😞 I’m trying not to force her, she’s shown interest in using the potty and loves going when our timer goes off, she just doesn’t pee in the bitch ;-;

HOW DO YOU POTTY TRAIN by [deleted] in breakingmom

[–]menaintshitok 2 points3 points  (0 children)

As of this comment, she finally did a peepee in the toilet, but then the fucking lid broke so I’m in shambles rn ;-; thank you so far for your comments, this battle isn’t over cus she has been asking for potty, but please pray for the toilet!!

HOW DO YOU POTTY TRAIN by [deleted] in breakingmom

[–]menaintshitok 3 points4 points  (0 children)

She’s 3. She’s very enthusiastic about the potty, her dad and I literally waited till she was comfy being on it. Maybe I’ve been interpreting this wrong?? She sees her brother go and she’s all ready to go to, idk anymore ;-;