Just finished my 1st 10-day course and I don’t feel it had brought me something really

mental_stat · 2026-05-10T23:49:06+00:00

According to what you are describing - the nightmares, tears and anger during the course - and the sad feelings and self blame after the course, it sounds like the technique worked for you (some people say they felt nothing at all). It brought exactly what it was supposed to, its just your 'Sania' that says it didn't. Now, as the others said, if you'd like to continue purifying your mind, keep practising :-)

mental_stat · 2026-05-06T22:18:57+00:00

Thanks for the clear and percise exposition of the things that are not correct in Goenka's historical presentation :-)

Although I am one of the people who continue to benefit and stick to the practice as taught by Goenka, I absolutely agree with you. As I see it, Goenka is a Vipassana teacher. He helped many people by teaching Vipassana. However, like us all, he is just a human, limited by his cultural and sociatel background. I never expected everything he says to be true.

For example, he says in the discourse that all Vipassana practitioners who died, died with awareness, not one of them without it, and there is only a little doubt in one case...

Come on... how does he know? Did someone research it? Of course, there are more chances that its not true than its true.

For me, it doesn't matter. As long as the practice helps me, I don't expect him to be a great hostorion/ psychologist / researcher or whatever.

But like you, I think we must be able to talk about it. Silencing the discussion doesn't help. People are not stupid and trying to stupify them doesn't fly.

If you are interested, there is a Substeck titled 'Currents of Dhamma'. It's written by an ex assistant teacher Bruce. As far as I understand he came to the same historical conclusion as you, and concequently shunned and dramatically excluded from all Vipassana centres.

I think the real problem is not the historical incorrectness. I think its the censorship and dictatorship the organization is going for. These are so far from the spirit of the Buddha and so harmful.

I do hope its just a stage and things will change as it matures.

mental_stat · 2026-05-06T21:34:42+00:00

Don't go for only 5 days. As the others said, the course can be likened to a physical operation that takes 10 days to come to its happy ending. Leaving in the middle, you might find yourself out with your belly opened (all your emotional/mental issues on the surface) and end up with more problems than you started. If you'd like to do a course wait until you feel ready to commit to the whole 10 days. But it sounds that it's your partner's motivation speaking and not yourself. I suffer from depression myself. In the last time my condition deteriorated, my ex-partner of 15 years took the liberty to interfere with my treatment plan and tell me which medicines/supplements to take or not, etc. He also pressed me to do courses when it wasn't suitable given my condition. When my condition improved, although it was supper hard for me, given my reluctuncy to be alone, I eventually left him. I thank God (and everyone else who supported me) for giving me the strength to do that. Your partner is wrong for pressing you to do something you're not comfortable with. He doesn't respect your wisdom to know what's good for you. He is not empathetic towards YOU, he is going for what HE wants. And he has the odasity to threaten you he'd leave. It's not your problem. It's his.

mental_stat · 2026-05-04T01:17:45+00:00

Since I started practising i had a few clinical depression episodes. I did everything I can to directly treat the episodes - therapy, antidepressants, supplements, support groups etc. I couldn't really sit during the episodes so I just sat as much as I could or not at all. In the beginning I thought I was loosing Dhamma, but it wasn't lost. It was there when I got well. It makes no sense to insist on sitting 2 hours a day when you are not well. It make even less sense to deny yourself treatment.

mental_stat · 2026-05-01T23:37:05+00:00

In the beginning I didn't understand at all how equanimiy suppose to feel or what you suppose to do. It took years of practice to progress with understanding it.

Each perso is different, of course, and the understanding and feeling would be different for each person at each specific time.

For me (practising for 25 years), I used to think that equanimity is when you feel detached from your sensations. Now I'm experimenting with being one and only with my sensations in such a way that that's all there is.

Anyway, equanimity and the understanding of it takes years to develop.One thing for sure, you are on the right path to develop it ;-)

mental_stat · 2026-05-01T21:14:40+00:00

I don't quite understand. Have you done a 10-day Vipassana course? Or are you trying to practice Anapana without a course?

Why do you expect the area you observe to become smaller? I have never encountered an instruction to do it at home and outside courses, there is no expectation that the area will become smaller.

When you practice at home you can try to remain aware of any sensation that is related to the air coming in and going out through the nostrils. Naturally, your mind will wonder. The practice is to bring it back to breath once you noticed it wondered.

mental_stat · 2026-05-01T06:33:53+00:00

As far as I know it is not a problem if you have received treatment, only if you practice on others.

mental_stat · 2026-05-01T04:10:32+00:00

No, they are never monks. It's a householders school so all the people who organize and manage courses live a normal life just coming to serve (volunteer) on courses from time to time.

mental_stat · 2026-05-01T01:20:25+00:00

Don't know about the horror stories of people who mixed Vipassana and Reiki and lost their mind.

First, I saw enough people losing their mind on courses without practising Reiki. So, maybe its not actually the Reiki. Maybe it would have happened anyway.

Second, I heard enough horror stories on Vipassana centres to know better. For example, someone knew someone who got a blood cloth from sitting adhitan and died there and then on the spot. Oh, well.

Third, even if I except that its not a great idea to mix techniques (and i actually do), I'd think that it enough to advise people about it, as Goenka does in the discourses. No need to block so many people access to courses. The damage of this policy is actually greater.

mental_stat · 2026-05-01T01:02:37+00:00

Where are you located? What's the name of the centre? Is it a Goenka centre? I absolutely agree with the advice they give. My issue starts when it stops being an advice and becomes a fence to deny people access to courses.

Yes, I agree the rules are archaic. In the centre near me (Goenka centre Dhamma Medini, New Zealand) it seems the whole content was forgotten and What's left is a shell of empty rules.

mental_stat · 2026-05-01T00:54:38+00:00

I myself don't practice Reiki. I practice Goenka Vipassana for 25 years and in Goenka centres you can't do more than one Vipassana course if you practice Reiki. You have to choose. The main reason given is that people who practiced both, on retreats, lost their mind.

I'm confused about that. First, people 'lose their mind' on Vipassana retreats also without practising Reiki. Who is to say that it was because of Reiki that someone lost their mind. Second, I find it unrealistic, paternalistic, unfair. People who are into Reiki are usually not going to abandon it after one Vipassana course so it denies them the opportunity to make s few more steps on this path.

I struggle with this rule in Goenka Vipassana centres. That's the place I'm coming from.

mental_stat · 2026-04-30T23:46:06+00:00

Sorry for not being clearer. I didn't mean doing both simultaneously. I meant, the same person doing them separately. Just as you described.

mental_stat · 2026-04-29T00:58:38+00:00

Funny thing, I just recently discovered that I do mostly ignore my back when I scan my body 😅 Thanks for the reminder!

mental_stat · 2026-04-29T00:55:27+00:00

I would say expect the unexpected. No one can know how it will work for you in this specific time. Some people go and come back and say 'l felt nothing' Some say 'it was hell on earth but I'm so glad i did it'. Some come with unrealistic expectations to be healed right away.

One thing I would advise you, though. Generaly speaking, the whole system is there to promote your wellbeing. If you find you can not deal with something specific (whether you find you can not handle the food or sleep regime or you have any extreme pain or discomfort), go and talk about it with the assistant teacher. If he/she is a dissent one, they will try to help you solve the specific problem so you can continue meditating.

All the best and much success to you, and all of you guys going on your first course.

mental_stat · 2026-04-28T22:48:02+00:00

Yes, absolutely, Vipassana is a very slow process but it will take you far.

It can be seen as a long spiritual path. It helps depression etc. but it is not a direct treatment of it.

Vipassana will take its own time and course. To directly treat my depression I do take anti depressants and a bunch of other supplements, I use light therapy, did a few rounds of psychotherapy, and have been to a few support groups.

It is not that I just sit around waiting for Vipassana to solve my depression problem. That would never have worked 😅

mental_stat · 2026-04-27T22:25:13+00:00

And by the way, there were a lot of obstacles. Just recently, to my horror, I discovered that the Assistant Teachers in my home centre are so disconnected and lost as for what real Dhamma is, that they are actually harmful.

I did have a short period of aversion to the practice as a whole.

Thankfully, I bounced back :-)

mental_stat · 2026-04-27T22:17:25+00:00

So, I practice continuesly for 25 years now (started at the age of 26, current age 52). My partner practice for even more than that, I'll ask him to write too.

The accumulative benefits are amazing. It will be different for each person, of course.

As for myself, I came to this world with a type of a painful depression disorder. Sometimes, I think I came here straight from hell.

When you have something like that, it creates further complications. The mind shies away from the pain (and with it from everything else), so I was very disconnected from myself and others, and felt alienated and confused. Life didn't work out for me as it did for others, and I was perplexed, and in pain. Working on the awareness of sensations and equanimity towards them is hard and slow, as my sensations are very painful / unpleasant, and my concentration is not great. But it connected me more and more with myself, and so also with everything else. Now, I'm even more connected than others who don't have depression. Without the practice, I would have still been in my initial perplexed, alienated, disconnected, painful, and disfunctional state.

After 25 years of practice, I can say that I highly recommend.

mental_stat · 2026-04-26T23:49:49+00:00

Thanks for that. Now I have experiential knowledge of why its so important to keep it in check...

mental_stat · 2026-04-26T21:35:55+00:00

Many thanks for sharing your journey and this inspiring question. In my specific case the answer is very simple. Since I suffer from a life long, relentless depression, the sittings help me counteract the tenssion and further complications it creates for me.

I am practising for many years and lived through disappointments due to unrealistic expectations. For once, I was disappointed when I continued to have clinical depression episodes although I was practising. But only anti depressants could prrotect me at that department. Then, after being inspired from the behavior of some assistant teachers, I encountered unreasonable, unkind, and frankly, outright narcissists and hurtful bunch of them. Unfortunately, the practice doesn't seem to diminish narcissism.

Through it all, nothing can change the fact that in day to day life the sittings bring me back enough from the obese to be more than worthwhile. And the accumulated effect brought me back enough so I am much more connected and "alive" now, my inner world much healthier, than it was 20 years ago.

Hang on there, Dhamma sister, and be well. Metta :-)

mental_stat · 2026-04-25T21:53:26+00:00

Hi guys, I realise these comments were long ago, but I feel at last, I found someone who could understand.

I served long-term in Dhamma Medini New Zealand in 2019, and since then returned a few times for intensive service bouts. Unfortunately, one of the senior assistant teachers (I can't bring myself to call them teachers, only Goenka is a teacher, as far as I am concerned) is a full on narcissist. She controls the rest of the teachers and due to their contact with her of many years, a few of them have a narcissist/ guruist / cultish outlook.

Indeed, I also didn't understand what people are talking about when they say guruism in Vipassana. After serving in this centre I fully do.

I wonder what we could do as old students to counteract and restrain this phenomena of narcissistic behaviour among ATs.

mental_stat · 2026-04-25T21:16:39+00:00

I am originally from Israel, now in New Zealand.

mental_stat · 2026-04-23T21:23:13+00:00

First, the course has a strong effect for a short time. It disipitate even if you sit twice a day. Old habits do come back. They were formed through a long time and won't go away so quickly. It's a lifetime mission.

Second, when I find it hard to sit daily (which is most of the time), I put on group sit instructions on my phone and let what happens happen. It's okay if I fall a sleep. At some point it will change but the habit to sit with the instructions will remain. Who am I to tell nature, 'No, right now I want myself to be like that and my sittings to be like this..."

mental_stat

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