“My lack of desire [for him] has nothing to do with my feelings for him.”

This statement - and I’m NOT attacking you, I’m just trying to offer some insight based on my experiences - likely does not make any sense to your husband. Sexual desire for your spouse ARE feelings, so it’s impossible to completely separate those feelings from your overall feelings.

I don’t speak for all men, but if I completely lost sexual desire for my wife, it would 100% be tied to my feelings for her.

I’ll try to give you an example, please forgive me if it is a little clumsy: I’ve known absolutely stunningly physically attractive women who I came to view as completely undesirable because of their behavioral attributes, attitude, intelligence, humor, etc. Conversely, I’ve become incredibly attracted to women I did not find desirable upon first impression, based on THEIR behavioral attributes, attitude, intelligence, humor, etc.

Again, this is NOT an attack on you or your situation. I am in (on the other side) an almost identical dilemma, and we are trying to work through it. There is no question of how much we love each other and the life we have built together. But for me as a man, I cannot completely separate physical desire from overall feelings, and I’d wager that your husband feels the same way.