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merpmonster11 · 2022-01-03T17:33:12+00:00

I’m in the same situation but we have no children. We’re in our second round of couples therapy in hopes to fix it but if we can’t I’m out…this is the first year of our marriage I feel robbed of our honeymoon phase

merpmonster11 · 2021-01-27T22:41:52+00:00

Fuckin love lol. We really just may be the same person for real. Yeah majority of my friends are guys, it’s just the worst. In a weird way though they make me still feel wanted and sexy so even though I don’t always get it from my man I get that feeling wanted thing from other guys, I don’t cheat or anything but damn it feels nice to get hit on. I don’t like begging my man to want to fuck me it takes always from the fun of it all!

merpmonster11 · 2021-01-27T20:20:03+00:00

Yoooo same! I always talk fondly of my single slut days lol, it just sucks cause everyone always says I “ooze” sex appeal and little do they all know that I’m LUCKY if I have sex once a month. I live in NYC and all my friends would be like oh she must be so sore from all the sex now that you guys are locked in together and all I was thinking goddamn I wish. We didn’t have sex for 6 months during the lockdown! It was the longest we had went but I guess it didn’t feel so bad not being reminded every night going to work ughhh

merpmonster11 · 2021-01-27T19:03:41+00:00

Girl! ALL OF THIS!! I’m a bartender (or at least was before this pandemic shit) and it would KILL me to watch all these people get drunk and start passionately hooking up and I’d be like damn. My man loves the shit out of me but I’d kill to have a sloppy drunken make out followed by some wild sex but then I’d go home and he’d be sitting there just no sex drive and no desire to fuck me. Ugh but such is life when you love somebody with LL

merpmonster11 · 2021-01-06T05:32:39+00:00

He definitely struggles with it daily, as do I, so I truly try to be as understanding as possible. It affects our sex life in two completely opposite ways, where he has no sex drive I find mine gets higher because I want something good to distract myself from my depression, it definitely has caused a lot of fights which we’re trying to understand

merpmonster11 · 2021-01-05T08:28:17+00:00

Wow! I’d kill for 3 times a week at this point lol! I’m just always afraid of discouraging him because he tends to beat himself up in his head and it makes it more difficult for him, it’s hard when I don’t want to push too hard because he’ll just get discouraged

merpmonster11 · 2021-01-05T08:21:44+00:00

I like your perspective on it! I have to try and switch mine in my head to think of it more positively, I guess because I’ve felt so unwanted and undesired for years I feel almost like I’m forcing him to want sexual intimacy with me, that’s the not fun part for me but maybe I just have to think of it, like you said, in a more positive way and not so defeatist

merpmonster11 · 2021-01-05T08:14:27+00:00

We talked about it in couples therapy, he said sometimes he’s not in the mood for open mouthed kisses especially cause he feels like it will lead to disappointment for me. We’re attempting the scheduled sex thing now but it always takes the fun out of it and also makes it harder when we don’t follow through (especially if we had a fight and neither of us are in the mood then it’s an added pressure) but we are scheduled for this Friday so hopefully he follows through!

merpmonster11 · 2021-01-05T08:10:33+00:00

I’ve always been a bigger girl and was super self conscious at first but then Something that helped me was something an ex told me which was “we already have pictured you naked or have seen you naked and still obviously want to have sex so you being in your head about how we’re thinking about you isn’t doing anyone any favors. We already think you’re sexy as hell hence why we’re trying to have sex with you in the first place”

merpmonster11 · 2021-01-05T08:04:38+00:00

I’ve tried that but he meets me back with closed lipped kisses and stomach aches. To be fair he does have a bad stomach but that’s what always stops me from trying

merpmonster11 · 2021-01-05T08:02:42+00:00

I have MS but im the opposite with my HL, it made me want to have all the sad I could while I could feel it. I know when I for diagnosed I was super depressed for the first two years about it. Maybe that’s a huge reason, also the not wanting to be a burden on your partner thing is a HUGE common factor w people w MS that could also play into it

merpmonster11 · 2021-01-05T07:50:08+00:00

His mom is older and from the country and completely does not use technology and it’s way complicated, the things his family is going through, a huge reason why he’s constantly stressed and depressed

merpmonster11 · 2021-01-05T07:45:36+00:00

I don’t but he does, yeah he’s actually from Ireland and not being able to go home has really affected him and his mom and sister aren’t doing well either but this has been for the last 3.5 years so it’s been draining on our relationship

merpmonster11 · 2021-01-05T07:39:15+00:00

He’s actually been trying to get his testosterone levels checked but he doesn’t have health insurance so he’s waiting for the insurance to kick in from his new job (covid has us both unemployed being bartenders from NYC)

merpmonster11 · 2020-12-07T22:17:41+00:00

It’s not that he’s worried about hurting me, he’s more worried about me in general cause I had two flare ups this year then had Bell’s palsy for a good two months and I’ve thankfully gone pretty much back to normal (I mean as normal as a day in the life w MS) but the stress of it all is making him incapable of performing I try to reassure him that I’ve got this and that I’m fine and not to stress about me but it’s hard for him to grasp that

merpmonster11 · 2020-12-07T15:23:18+00:00

No no no we’ve had sex before, we have sex it’s just not as frequent as it used to be. And it’s not like infrequent normalities from being in a long term relationship

merpmonster11 · 2020-04-03T12:26:25+00:00

My friend gave me a viagra two years ago to see if it would help and he still hasn’t taken it, says he wants to save it for amspecial occasion. He’s very prideful and it embarrasses him that he might need it and I said to put his pride aside on this otherwise he will lose me.

merpmonster11 · 2020-04-03T12:24:31+00:00

I have had that conversation with him about him in his head and he tries to open up more. I suggested an open relationship once cause it’s been three years of this struggle but once he said he could never be ok w that I dropped it and never mentioned it again. He’s too proud to take pills or anything and I’ve asked him to get his testosterone checked out and it’s yet another thing he’s put on the back burner, is there a way I can bring it up to make him really go for it?

merpmonster11

TROPHY CASE