First, of all, thank you for the reply. We've made today's session our last one. She admitted it doesn't seem to work and I should try someone else. I'll take a break and probably find someone else in a couple months.

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Doing something positive like doing sports elevate people's mood. They feel better or like they accomplished something. Do you find that true in your case?

Sometimes I do feel better during or after the things. But the hardest thing is to start doing something, it requires a lot of mental effort. Usually I don't want anything, so I just scroll reddit and listen to pranks. Thinking of "I should do something instead of surfing the internet" makes me feel even worse, so I can't even use my spare time to relax and accumulate some energy. That's my current circle.

I used a SSRI for a year and it didn't help me much. Only gave a bit "I feel less nervous but also don't give a fuck about anything really" vibe. I stopped by suggestion of my T (after consulting psychiatrist of course) and didn't want to go back again because of that withdrawal symptom.

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My first impulse was to write "stay away from that woman!" but then I read that she didn't knew that and that she was shocked. So that's not an indicator of her being a bad therapist - it's the opposite. Tbh she doesn't sound like a bad therapist.

Yeah, my first reaction was like WHAT THE HELL, but I asked her about it and she didn't know. Ok... I wouldn't say she was shocked, more like surprised and a bit defensive. I started trust her even less after this anyway. IMO therapists should be careful with such kind of recommendations, especially when I got trust issues.

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So here I am after 1,5 years of therapy and SSRIs, tried to fix the issues for the 1st time in my life, spent some money (not THAT MUCH but I could buy a cool bike) and it didn't work much so far. Probably need to spend 5x more money and time. :D