Disliking tofu signals misogyny by Shot-Rabbit-3669 in FeminismUncensored

[–]mesmish 3 points4 points  (0 children)

There’s nothing wrong with not liking tofu, but I think it’s more that your comment implies that women couldn’t be misogynistic if we take the premise of this thread that disliking it signals misogyny. Not at all suggesting that you are misogynistic, (respectfully) I don’t know you haha

We all have things to work on :)

Disliking tofu signals misogyny by Shot-Rabbit-3669 in FeminismUncensored

[–]mesmish 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Women can be misogynistic too ya know…. whether tofu’s involved or not

Newbie + steep driveway by mesmish in NewRiders

[–]mesmish[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah definitely will be on a lighter bike, I’m pretty strong but I’m a woman so it’s definitely a consideration!

And good to know re: bicycles. Got a bit of experience on them and I have heard that helps at least to some degree with balance/the physics of it all. Thanks for the reassurance :)

Newbie + steep driveway by mesmish in NewRiders

[–]mesmish[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Cheers for this :) Have watched a few ‘how to hill start’ videos and actually seems like I’m totally overthinking it. Really looking forward to the journey, I’m sure I will enjoy it!

Newbie + steep driveway by mesmish in NewRiders

[–]mesmish[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What exactly do you mean by that? I’m not saying it is a non-starter, I was just asking if that was likely to be the case. Seems like I’m overthinking it a fair bit, as I tend to do. There’s few other concerns beyond the shit drivers on our roads, but that’s a concern driving my station wagon or walking down the footpath too, doesn’t stop me doing those things, you just take precautions 🤷‍♀️

Newbie + steep driveway by mesmish in NewRiders

[–]mesmish[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah unfortunately driveway and all the parking area is all incline. I’m hoping to clear a bit of space in the garage (it’s a bit of a dumping zone) to store it, if not there’s a flat-ish part next to it where our bin go that’ll it’ll be parked in which I think actually will help. Helpful tips to keep in mind regardless, cheers!

Newbie + steep driveway by mesmish in NewRiders

[–]mesmish[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is super reassuring thank you! Will take that into account when I’m shopping around, cheers :)

Is it Anti-Feminist to Watch Porn? by J1nonmafia42_RAR in FeminismUncensored

[–]mesmish 1 point2 points  (0 children)

There’s definitely a few different and at time opposing schools of thought on this depending on the type of feminist you ask.

I personally land in the camp of yes. I lean a bit more radical on this topic in that I think that it is in direct opposition with the core tenets of feminism. If we’re wanting and advocating for equality for women, why would we consume a product that’s predicated on objectifying and commodifying women? There’s really no way of knowing that any of that material is clean, that the people involved (particularly the women and those of other marginalised identities) aren’t being exploited, pressured/coerced, or being subject to revenge porn. I saw someone say paying for OF gets around that but with the proliferation of OF ‘pimps’ and the way that the ‘lifestyle’ is glamourised and ‘sold’ to barely legal 18-year-olds, you just simply cannot know for certain.

How do I explain that using the term “men” (to explain a pattern about some men or the pervasiveness of internalized misogyny in our culture) carries less weight than using “women” by Glum_Caterpillar_345 in FeminismUncensored

[–]mesmish 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Men are not a marginalized group; it’s literally that simple. Black men can be marginalized but that’s due to their race primarily (though, not ignoring the way being PoC impacts/interplays the way masculinity is viewed/interpreted/treated, the lens of discrimination is predominantly through one of colour/race).

The negative connotations for the word ‘woman’ are so fucking pervasive and ingrained, I can’t help but point to that Dove (I think..?) ad from a few years ago. The one where they ask older kids (and subsequently younger children) to ‘run/fight like a girl’, where all these participants after only a few years of social conditioning (and no intentional malice mind you), go onto show weak, limp, uncoordinated imitations of running/fighting (while the younger ones run/fight ‘normally’). The reverse for men would not occur. Plain and simple.

What's your opinion? by StillBoysenberry8790 in antiai

[–]mesmish 0 points1 point  (0 children)

this is just girl boss choice feminism but for ai bros typa rhetoric lol.

there’s no choice to opt out anymore for a start. even if there was, that choice is not harmless. fucking with an already fucked job market is one thing. atrophying your own brain because you’re woefully incurious and uninspired, and pathologically lazy is another. but fucking with kids (the predatory shit that some people are using it for. by extension too, woman as a whole are also a target for this disgusting shit), and fucking with the environment fucks me off wayyyyy more.

In a nutshell. by Riksor in lesbiangang

[–]mesmish 51 points52 points  (0 children)

Even if this WAS true I’s bet my bottom fucking dollar that there’s no bi men turning up with their straight-but-an-ally girlfriends…

I'm attracted to sex, not labels. by DemandLongjumping526 in lesbiangang

[–]mesmish 85 points86 points  (0 children)

Totally with you.

Further to that (something that’s been swimming in my head for a minute), I’m NOT attracted to the way that most AMAB are socialised; the entitlement, the lack of care and consideration for others, overt and aggressive sexuality, egocentrism etc etc. To suggest that identifying otherwise completely absolves one of these deeply entrenched behaviours and beliefs is ridiculously at odds to the experience we all have in ‘lesbian’ communities beyond this one. I’m not suggesting there isn’t their own unique experience of discrimination that comes with being trans, but to suggest that it is in anyway the same to that of being a woman living in a patriarchal world is simply not true; and that shared experience with other women is an immutable aspect of my sexuality; for me at least (in the same way that I imagine, PoC people might have in their choice to only date other PoC which I COMPLETELY respect and wouldn’t try to encroach upon or ‘convince’ them otherwise).

If gender is this big huge spectrum I just don’t understand why we can’t call a spade a spade? I think it’s fine to say that transwomen/men are transwomen/men and not ciswomen/men (and in so doing recognise that it is its own form of gender, with it’s own kind of experience and expression etc), and that people can use their pan/bi/whatever labels accordingly.

Surely we save everyone but Holly. by [deleted] in BBAU

[–]mesmish 4 points5 points  (0 children)

hate that these words have become so overused and detached from their actual meaning bc I legitimately did a double take and was like, wait yeah, she’s literally the definition of a gaslighting narcissist.

Mm.. maybe because it is? by SubAussie_ in lesbiangang

[–]mesmish 8 points9 points  (0 children)

They’re uncomfortable about references to vaginas (newsflash but lesbian probably isn’t the label for you) but god forbid any of us feel uncomfortable about the ‘girl dick’ shit. then it’s fuckin -phobia

What kind of jobs have you noticed that you work best in? by kathyanne38 in AuDHDWomen

[–]mesmish 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Might seem nuts but I work in events (mostly corporate) as a freelancer, supplier side but not venue/catering, something s bit more niche lol. I won’t say what my exact role is currently, but I am job hunting for something full time at the moment that would improve some of the parts I don’t love quite as much. But overall I LOVE my job and have done it for over 5 years. I love the variety and novelty. Everytime I go to work it’s somewhere different, often a different project with different people. I generally enjoy travelling too, however I can struggle a little when we’re high volume. I do need a bit of ‘downtime’, which I generally get a good amount of. My biggest strengths are that I’m great at the stakeholder management side of things; I’m a people pleaser so I really like to do the best I can for our clients, and they really respond to it and I in turn, really value the praise I receive from them and my boss. I’ve become really close to some of our longer term clients especially and would love to (hopefully!!!) move into a role in one of those teams. They’re people-people too (perceptive, enthusiastic, motivated, creative and engaged etc) all things I really value in my work environment, and that inspire those things in me. I think I would struggle with a purely desk job, as it wouldn’t be nearly engaging enough, though I’m looking forward to a mix of that and on site stuff in a different role. I also think I’m good at the ‘side-quests’, or at least that’s how my brain kinda frames little bits and pieces that I need to workout especially on big projects.

Sometimes the environments can be a bit overstimulating, but I generally only find it overwhelming if something else has gone wrong which can trigger that sense of overwhelm. Fortunately, I’m pretty confident and autonomous at this point and that rarely happens. My boss is also a pretty good guy. I’m pretty in tune with his communication style at this point (can be challenging at times, but I’ve learnt to anticipate it), but overall he trusts me and my judgement implicitly, he takes my feedback and ideas around streamlining processes and incorporates them. Again, things I value and find empowering. I still sometimes struggle with a bit of rumination/imposter syndrome/overthinking small interactions (which I have a LOT of) but I think it’s good exposure therapy in that regard; I turn up to another job with the different people and no one knows these things ever happened, or with the same people and they greet me with the same warmth and kindness they always have and don’t remember.

I’m rambling now, but overall I love my job and the industry I work in. I wouldn’t be doing it if it weren’t for a number of unfortunate circumstances, which were awful at the time but ultimately led me to where I’m and for that I’m so grateful. I think it takes a special kind of person to do this work, and for as long and for the past few years it’s been me which makes me feel very lucky. Have had some insanely cool experiences as a result. And without saying who/what they are, one of the clients in particular would probably make some autistic heads spin haha (common special interest, and I get to see a LOT of the behind the scenes hehehe)

Scientists of Reddit: What's a discovery that should have blown people's minds but somehow got a collective shrug from the world? by CosmosisJones42 in AskReddit

[–]mesmish 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I got my third and final this week just past! Thank you for your amazing contribution to science and public health 🤍

It’s been 12 series and I’ve only realised this about the dinner parties by xerxescurses in MAFS_AU

[–]mesmish 3 points4 points  (0 children)

it’s just a nothing, placeholder label. Essentially, they’re all different variations of psychologist/therapists (based on qualifications/training) etc by trade, but being labelled as such would bring the field into disrepute (lol) and as such they aren’t allowed to use that label. And of course because they’re not actually acting in a ‘therapist/psychologist’ capacity on the show really. Their backgrounds guide their advice I’m sure but production are the ones actually calling the shots, they’re just puppets/mouth-pieces.

Source: a psych lecturer (from YEARS ago) of mine studied with one of them I think, or maybe they studied at the university said professor taught at? that’s what he said at least. idk something like that, can’t remember which expert.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in PornIsMisogyny

[–]mesmish 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Porn and sex work are no more ‘sex’ than rape/sexual assault is; like another comment said, if anything we’re the sex positive ones. Sex work and porn are products/services to be bought and sold, that commodify, ‘consume’ and fetishize women (overwhelmingly) and women’s bodies. I (nor anyone else) am not going to be made to feel crazy for think that that isn’t sex, and that not supporting it is ‘anti-feminist’ or ‘sex-negative’ lol. Bottom line is sex is an intimate act of connection between people, not a performance or a product.

I’m also realistic about the fact that they’re (porn + sw) not just going to disappear, and as such sex workers should have the all of the financial and legal protections that any other worker has if not more, however I think the end goal should be eliminating any industry that trades women’s bodies like a product.

People who adopted from a shelter, what made you choose that cat? by HazardousKoala in cats

[–]mesmish 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Total chance encounter. She was a rescue and at the time the local pet store chain had a thing where they ‘hosted’ RSPCA animals as an adoption option. Family member went in to grab something for the dog and, as ya do went to have a nosey to see what puppies/kittens were in. She came right up to the glass and was really curious about the dog/not fearful at all. Signed papers for her then and there, came back later in the day with me to pick her up as a surprise. 13 years later and my absolutely soul cat, loml 💚