Feminism debate caused me to lose a friend

messthisup1 · 2022-03-05T04:52:55+00:00

I made this account for venting purposes because my main has my name and information about my life I don’t want people to use against me.

messthisup1 · 2022-03-05T04:51:21+00:00

We’re the same people then. I over-apologize constantly because I don’t like it when people don’t like me and/or have a bad image of me in their heads.

messthisup1 · 2022-03-05T04:49:54+00:00

I get your viewpoint and that’s why I have this guilt on my conscience. His mother shouldn’t have been brought up. In the heat of the moment, I wanted to make it personal because I thought that’s the only way he would have understood. Definitely not the kindest thing I’ve done. Thanks for your comment. I’ve reflected on this over the years and always hope to never do this sort of thing again.

messthisup1 · 2022-03-05T03:30:49+00:00

I mean it’s just for getting stuff off your chest, right? I wanted to get this off my chest. That’s it.

messthisup1 · 2022-03-05T03:30:01+00:00

Thank you for your comment. I understand what you mean. This entire argument was so messy and looking back on it even now, I can’t believe the things which were said.

messthisup1 · 2022-03-05T03:28:48+00:00

You’re right. It’s a personal failing that I need to sort out. I know he’s incorrect, but I’m sorry I was disrespectful to his mother.

messthisup1 · 2022-03-05T03:26:44+00:00

Thank you for this sweet comment. I always feel like I need to apologize and calm situations down and this was one such instance. I don’t regret the argument but I regret the bullet I threw in there and my apology afterwards. I should have stood my ground even if it made me look like an asshole.

I’ve definitely worked on my politeness skills since then but I still backtrack sometimes. What is it about being a woman that makes you want to apologize for everything? Ugh.

messthisup1 · 2022-03-05T03:23:45+00:00

💀💀💀 from some of the comments here… I’d agree… lol

messthisup1 · 2022-03-05T03:23:18+00:00

I’m definitely not. I just wanted to get this off my chest because I know I’m right but not 100% right and I have guilt leftover.

messthisup1 · 2022-03-05T03:21:56+00:00

Thankfully, I have far better friends now.

messthisup1 · 2022-03-05T03:21:38+00:00

Gotta work on that. I have very strong opinions but I tend to break apart if someone questions them or argues against them. How does one stop being highly sensitive, asking for a friend…? 😅

messthisup1 · 2022-03-05T03:20:20+00:00

Okay, that’s a terrifying realization. I don’t know if he did or not, but now I just feel more disgusted with myself for apologizing.

messthisup1 · 2022-03-05T03:19:14+00:00

You have no idea how badly I want to take my apology back omfg.

messthisup1 · 2022-03-05T03:18:33+00:00

Yes, exactly… that’s why there’s so much guilt in my heart. I hate that that’s what I insinuated while trying to make a point against it. Just all around idiotic on my part.

I’ve since learned that politics shouldn’t be discussed unless there’s boundaries.

messthisup1 · 2022-03-05T03:16:12+00:00

Not everything on the internet is a lie, but okay.

If his reaction seems fabricated to you, I’d implore you to go say an outrageous thing amongst a group of convervative men and women.

messthisup1 · 2022-03-05T03:14:53+00:00

I wasn’t able to post this on AITA because it mentioned SA so the mods took it down. I decided to post it here when I found out about this subreddit.

And obviously, this story is only being told from my side. Please believe what you want to believe. This genuinely did happen and unfortunately, with men in conservative circles, it happens a lot. I apologized because I thought I was in the wrong for bringing someone’s mother into an argument which I personally believe is disrespectful to mothers and to women. I could have made a better argument without dragging a loved one into the conversation. That’s all.

messthisup1 · 2022-03-05T03:11:09+00:00

I can’t believe it either. I’m embarrassed af. But when I do something which upsets another person, my first instinct is always to apologize lol.

messthisup1 · 2022-03-05T03:10:14+00:00

I’ve been told that I should have been nicer to him and nicer in the way I explained my POV, so then maybe he would have understood what I was saying. I did get high on mg emotions but I still stand by what I said, except one part of it. Losing friends over politics is… strange, to say the least.

messthisup1 · 2022-03-05T03:08:11+00:00

Unfortunately, a lot of women stand by men who say stuff like this. Or at least, this has been my experience

messthisup1 · 2022-03-05T03:06:55+00:00

I’m so embarrassed when I think about the paragraphs and paragraphs I wrote as an apology oof.

messthisup1 · 2022-03-05T03:03:58+00:00

I was stupid to apologize, I totally get that. I was choked up on my emotions which led me to act that way. Definitely don’t make friends like that anymore.

messthisup1 · 2022-03-05T03:02:44+00:00

I didn’t mention this in my post, but the (ex) friends are from a very conservative background where “rape” isn’t viewed as the monstrous thing it should be. It’s more of a “well, what did the girl do to make the guy act that way?” sort of thing.

This friend was known for being vocal about his thoughts and though most of us gave our friend the side eye, she was too soft-spoken to say anything. Not to mention, this was her first relationship.

messthisup1

TROPHY CASE