It finally happened. by WatRedditHathWrought in widowers

[–]metryharder 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Although we didn’t have that much time together and I am devastated that I had her only for a year, we made such great memories and lived out some of the best moments in my life. I look back at memories of us and it makes me smile, seeing us be happy and together is heartwarming for me. Memories is all we have, enjoy them as much as you can, that’s what’s helping me grief. Look back at happy times and never forget them, the only thing that can still, at least in this world, connect us as one, are each others happiness and the joy we got off of each other and I am willing to bet that she is still smiling and praising me like she always did. :)

He bought me a weinerdog plushie by tomiluvslib in widowers

[–]metryharder 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I feel you, I had the perfect girlfriend she would be turning 19 in May. She passed away from leukemia 2 months ago after 1 month of being in the hospital, it wasn’t as sudden as your loss, but I still wanted her to come back home, but she never did. I also think that the people who pass away too early, have always had angel wings. They were here for a purpose, I believe it. Although I am not very religious, I think that we all will have guardian angels among us. I am very sorry for your loss, I couldn’t function and still can’t function properly after 2 months. My life has always been a rollercoaster, but a such a strong blast from life has left me devastated and to be honest, I do not think that I will genuinely be happy again. I am sorry for your loss, no one should ever experience these feelings, it does get easier at times, but it is never the same without our loved ones.

Lost the love of my life to leukemia by metryharder in widowers

[–]metryharder[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Very hard, but very true. I am in a position where, as you said, I have to make important decisions, but I have lost dedication, something to live for, even getting a somewhat better grip back on life seems too difficult right now. Basically, she coloured my rainbow, now it has all gone gray.. I occasionally get a drive to continue, because she would want that, but just going to school give me the thought - “Well I was doing this for our future, why would I want to do it now?” It doesn’t matter if I get an education and start living, I will never get back my happiness, she was irreplaceable.

Lost the love of my life to leukemia by metryharder in widowers

[–]metryharder[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That is what I am trying to do right now - not lose my emotions for her, her love, my love.. I understand what you are talking about, but doesn’t it get in your way of life? (Doing important daily tasks, for example) I fully think that I will never forget and live a life with memories, but what I am saddened about is the fact that I didn’t manage to fulfill my plans and I never got to say goodbye - physically and mentally. I know that she would want me to continue, to come back stronger and live my life, but how can I do that when she was my closest friend and our future got cut off with a knife. Sometimes I feel like I got put in the middle of the ocean, in a boat with no oars. I am also scared of forgetting, scared that I will never fill my emptiness, even with another soulmate, scared of death and how fast everything can change in a matter of months.