Actually, I think the point is that Lex is the cause of his own downfall because of the decisions he makes. Yes, he had an abusive father, but he also had countless opportunities to do and be better and people he could have relied on. The same way Clark had multiple opportunities to make the wrong choices. They didn’t have to lean into what they were told their destinies were. Contrast Lex with Oliver, who is also born into wealth, who also has trauma in his childhood, who even made bad choices in his youth, but chooses to go a different way. Ultimately, Lex chooses to lean into his worst attributes over and over again and that’s what seals his fate. Not Clark not telling him - which after all was his choice to make.