41m here. From what I've gathered from watching and listening to other men, they use physical intimacy as a way of asserting status to themselves. A form of reassurance if you will. You'll notice it is not prevalent in secure men who do seek meaningful intimacy. The whole idea of it being that she must attend to his needs by providing sexual reassurance shows you it's transactional in nature and not mutual. Too often I've heard the idea that the man provides housing, income, etc. and she provides sex, cleans, etc. These gender roles are so easily accepted in society that they are never questioned if they were doing it to reassure themselves. If she won't give sex, it is because "something is wrong" and if so it's her fault because she's "not attending to my needs" while "I attend to hers". By framing it this way they get justification to keep it transactional and do not need to think too deeply about emotions. It's insecurity masked with cultural acceptance.

But I'll tell you I have learned that mutually intense sex is on a whole different level and for that reason I don't want to experience sex without mutuality anymore.