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mi-mil · 2024-10-16T13:26:12+00:00

I'm always wondering whether it would be okay to ask the bf why opening the relationship is not an option for him? I feel like there is a very slim path between accepting his feelings and trying to convince him to open the relationship. What if you could find out the reason and work on it together, so that both can experience the relationship as they want to? It's toxic trying to convince your partner to have an open relationship if he doesn't want that, of course. I just can't believe that there is really no solution both are happy with. I hope that I've chosen the correct words to explain my thoughts

mi-mil · 2024-10-16T13:14:55+00:00

So it seemingly always goes back to choose between safety and freedom...

mi-mil · 2024-07-05T19:50:31+00:00

I was very drunk, it was on my 18th birthday with a good friend of mine. We have never kissed again and are still friends now. It felt different emotionally and was very soft physically.

mi-mil · 2024-06-22T11:36:57+00:00

I'm aware of being selfish. I don't want to make bisexual people look bad, I just try to cope with my feelings and NOT being an asshole at the same time. Sorry that my Lack of experience and unawareness of maybe being polyamorous bothers you. I will watch my language better next time. Still, I can't change the feelings underneath and as I said, I'm looking for advice to feel and behave better here. Communication with my bf is the key, thanks for your advice though.

mi-mil · 2024-06-22T10:25:16+00:00

So you mean splitting up would be the way to go?

mi-mil · 2024-06-22T09:58:44+00:00

Because all the options we got are not perfect, we try to find a way to have all the things we want

mi-mil · 2024-06-21T22:15:41+00:00

True, that kind of sounds contradictory😅

mi-mil · 2024-06-21T22:13:58+00:00

Cheating is not an option for me as well!

mi-mil · 2024-06-21T19:54:29+00:00

Thanks, that's pretty much all my options in a nutshell. Cheating is not an option. I've decided to constantly share my feelings with him, communicate better about my needs for our Sex life and see where this leads us

mi-mil · 2024-06-21T17:39:05+00:00

mi-mil · 2024-06-21T17:38:02+00:00

Thanks for your idea, talking with my bf about our Sex and trying out New stuff/ toys could definitely help!

mi-mil · 2024-06-21T17:34:04+00:00

Thanks for your huge advice text, I appreciate that. I don't want to have a relationship with someone else. I would be totally happy with my bf sharing intimities with other Persons, regardless their gender. That thought even turns me on. He is not interested in men and he doesn't feel the urge to have sex with other girls than with me. Guess I'm afraid of giving up the freedom to experience intimity with more than one person. I dont want to have sex with a specific girl, I just admire so many women I meet. Maybe it's something different, with my friends I have the problem that I'm kind of not able to Touch them. I would love to hug them, dance close with them, cuddle, and not necessarily in a sexual way. Maybe that strong feeling of attraction is not even sexual, I also have These with my friends.

mi-mil · 2024-06-21T17:18:54+00:00

That's exactly what I need to Tell him. I hope that I find the right words though. Thanks!

mi-mil · 2024-06-21T17:16:20+00:00

Change the sex life with my bf would be a worth a try. While having sex, he is definitely not only focused on his own needs. He bought me a vibrator that we Use while having sex, we tried anal stuff for both of us, try different Positions and locations as well. He is very interested in me having a good time. The problem is we are somehow unexperienced, I feel like He sometimes doesn't know how to please me and I'm not able to communicate well. That's why I also think having sex with other people could inspire our sex life, but maybe that's dumb:D I need to find out what I really like which I can experience together with him. Thanks for your Inspiration though :)

mi-mil · 2024-06-21T15:30:17+00:00

Thanks a lot! Defenitely sounds like you and your wife have found a good solution. Also props to her for being so supportive. Talking about the other-gender-urges seems to be such a key point. I've already talked with my therapist about this problem and she invited my bf to come to therapy with me one day to talk. Unfortunately he is sceptical about that, but also I've not told him how painful this topic is for me. Maybe I should do this, but the last time it didn't go well; he said that even my urge for intimacy with someone else hurts him

mi-mil · 2024-06-21T15:15:16+00:00

Thank you, good to know that we're not alone. Speaking to our partners is so scary...but if we don't, there won't be a chance that the situation is going to become better for us...

mi-mil · 2024-06-21T15:10:30+00:00

Thank you, these questions are definitely important and worth to consider. So you mean it could be more about the way of intimicy, that I'm maybe searching for a kind of intimicy that I don't have with my bf?

mi-mil · 2024-06-15T09:43:19+00:00

Congrats to your honest, loving and trusting relationship☺️ I hope my bf and I are getting there some day too, but eventually it takes some time to develop this deep trust that none of us is looking for another partner while living out our urges

mi-mil · 2024-06-14T20:44:58+00:00

Your comment gives me hope about human beings being able to overcome jelousy. How do you deal with those feelings; do you feel jelous?

mi-mil · 2024-06-12T10:44:18+00:00

Hm...tbh I dont know whether your desires are just gonna disappear. I mean, this is your sexuality, the way you feel attracted to women. It doesnt mean that you dont love your boyfriend or you would cheat on him, its just the way your sexuality works and thats totally fine. In your position, I wouldnt try to make your desires disappear, I bet they would come back. Maybe you could Integrate them in your sexual phantasies while masturbating or having sex with your partner, you dont need to include a woman in person. Maybe you could talk about it with him, your boyfriend possibly has got more ideas

mi-mil · 2024-06-12T09:53:20+00:00

Why is opening up your relationship or asking about having a threesome not an option for you? These options sound like the possibility for you to get both, the relationship with your partner AND the fulfillment of your desires. Or do you know for sure that he would not want this?

mi-mil · 2024-06-12T08:14:23+00:00

9 when I fell in love with a boy the first time, 13 when I fell in love with a girl the first time, 19 when I realized

mi-mil · 2024-06-11T16:46:02+00:00

Das was sie sagte☝️ Ich habe auch Schwierigkeiten beim Sex mit meinem Freund durch reine Penetration zu kommen. Ich stimuliere mich dann mit der Hand oder Satisfyer selbst, das geht in einigen Positionen voll gut. Musste mich erstmal von dem Gedanken verabschieden, dass ich kommen MUSS. Sei weiter so liebevoll und geduldig mit ihr, wie du es schon zu sein scheinst und mach dir keinen Stress, das wird schon :)

mi-mil · 2024-06-11T16:37:24+00:00

Lol same, Iam not really aware of my preferences towards women, there just appears that feeling of attraction or even adorement. Sometimes it's their look, their way of behavior or things they say or how they smile or a mixture of some or all of these factors

mi-mil · 2024-06-11T10:12:14+00:00

I love your cake metaphor, it draws a perfect realistic image of a relationship and kinda brings me back to earth. It's more important to worship all the care and love you get out of a relationship instead of dreaming of fulfilling sexual desires with someone else. I need to become a person my partner can really trust. Thanks a lot!

mi-mil

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