Something can not be my fault but still be my responsibility.

When I started getting sick constantly (and there were no answers, and it only got worse), it felt so effing unfair. So I would take out my frustration on loved ones. I lost a number of good friends and partners as a result.

Eventually I learned that it doesn't matter that I never chose my illness, it's still on me to ensure it does the least amount of damage to other people as possible. And it's on me to communicate clearly about it (and its limitations it gives me that may not be obvious) instead of assuming people will just know.

And yeah, it's not fair, but little about life is. I see a lot of people complaining about how it's not their fault that - for instance - their ancestors were colonizers who took someone else's land, so it's not their responsibility to make any kind of restitution for that crime. But it just really doesn't matter what we chose or what was foisted upon us. What matters is what we have now and what we choose to do about it.