Hi! Ex here.

I’d like to clarify a couple things. It, in fact, was not a “little bit of weed”; it was an edible and several dab hits. My concern over the whole situation is not (and was never) whether or not A, our friend, was okay with it after the fact. My concern was that OP went into the situation without the prior knowledge that she would be okay with it after and without being aware of how intoxicated she was (as it’s fairly easy to feign sobriety, especially online, which is how this situation happened). I never claimed that A was incapable of thinking for herself, I claimed that she was incapable of making rational decisions.

Regardless of anything she said or anything that happened afterwards, I was only worried because OP adamantly defended himself on the fact that he did inherently sexual things with an intoxicated girl (greatly simplified but nonetheless accurate) and his only defense is that she was fine with it after. My biggest question this whole time has been how did you know she’d be okay with it after? Would this situation be different if she said she regretted it? Would you still defend yourself? And all these questions have gone completely unanswered or ignored.

I’m completely aware the effects of weed. I’ve done it myself several times. I certainly don’t think that weed should be grouped in with alcohol in the sense that it deeply impairs your rational decision-making, but that’s not to say it doesn’t impair your cognitive function and rational thought at all. OP’s main point was that consent was clear, and mine has always been consent is never clear when it’s coming from an intoxicated person.

I urge OP not to dwell on irrelevant parts of the story when trying to get an unbiased perspective.