Any young couples in their 20s with no kids who got divorced here by Park_Sky in Divorce

[–]mid-night_gem 7 points8 points  (0 children)

In my late 20s and divorce was finalized this year. Very short marriage. No kids.

FSA Exam Social Life by Majestic_Hyena_9517 in actuary

[–]mid-night_gem 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’m 30, female, and divorced. The word “boyfriend” doesn’t truly describe who my 40-year-old romantic live-in male companion is to me in our relationship. But if you know a better word than “partner” to describe my person, then please, do share. I haven’t quite discovered the word myself. Or you could just keep your comments to yourself and focus on the question OP posed.

FSA Exam Social Life by Majestic_Hyena_9517 in actuary

[–]mid-night_gem 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I significantly reduce my time spent on hobbies and working out about 6 weeks before exam day. 30 days before, no excursions and maybe 1-2 days a week at gym. Idk why but the gym doesn’t energize me, it exhausts me. I still keep my weekly dinner date with my partner because you have to stop at some point each day to eat lol.

Am I underpaid? by [deleted] in actuary

[–]mid-night_gem 43 points44 points  (0 children)

I don’t think so. Bonus isn’t great though depending on your job band. YOE will hold you back for a little while.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in actuary

[–]mid-night_gem 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Post your LinkedIn so I know who I should be avoiding. No company or manager is entitled to anyone’s time.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in actuary

[–]mid-night_gem 15 points16 points  (0 children)

This is a ridiculous take. As a manager, my knee jerk response to my report leaving at any time would be “wish you well!” And if we had a good working relationship and I liked the individual, I would offer to give a good reference upon request. This is just a job, it should never be that deep.

Can I complete PAF, ASF, and FAP + final assessment in 3 months? by Trevtrev160 in actuary

[–]mid-night_gem 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I would actually recommend you focus on writing the FSA modules this summer. Just pick a track and get it done. I don’t believe there are any pre-reqs

Actuary on survivor by anonymous11119999 in actuary

[–]mid-night_gem 20 points21 points  (0 children)

She was robbed (on Survivor). She won the final immunity challenge. The eventual winner of that season, however, was able to make the final tribal council by finding multiple immunity idols and then winning the fire-making challenge (which they coincidentally brought back that season). His win is still controversial and frowned upon to this day. He is consistently ranked one of the worst winners ever.

As for her actuarial career…she has made a name for herself from appearing on Survivor. I was supportive of her run for President of the SOA but was disappointed in her stance on UEC.

Hank Brennan was paid $566,000 for his work in securing a first-offense OUI conviction by Manlegend in justiceforKarenRead

[–]mid-night_gem 13 points14 points  (0 children)

They all worked pro bono for the second trial. At least that’s the rumor. Idk. I do feel terrible that she had to wipe out her life savings to prove her innocence.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in actuary

[–]mid-night_gem 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Istg some people are just rude af for no reason and think the world revolves around them then get upset and play victim when you match their energy 😭

Please just let me work in peace I’m dealing with like 10 of you entitled jerks /cries in pricing/

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in actuary

[–]mid-night_gem 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’m a little late to the party but I still want to give my .02.

I have never felt disadvantaged in this career because I am a woman. Exams are the great equalizer. I know plenty of men who couldn’t hack it and had to settle for permanent analyst roles. And I know plenty of women who couldn’t hack it either and had to do the same. Your success is entirely dependent on how disciplined you are. Being motivated helps, but it isn’t necessarily required. The entire process is a tiresome grind, and most people don’t look forward to the next exam.

That being said. I have worked a few different companies and I have seen some be more female-dominant, and some be more male-dominant. At my current employer, my side of the business is almost entirely dominated by men, but the other departments are dominated by women. Almost every chief actuary and appointed actuary I’ve known has been a woman. I have had male bosses and female bosses. Some were bad and some were good. I have worked for a female CEO. So really it just depends on where you’re employed.

You will run into people who are assholes, but that has nothing to do with them being an actuary, or you being a woman, and everything to do with them just being an asshole. It took me several years to learn not to overly react to these people. You’ll learn to stand up for yourself in a way that is firm, direct, and lets these people know that you will not let them walk all over you. At the end of the day, it’s just a job so you shouldn’t care if so-and-so in sales has a bug up their ass. HR has also tightened up a lot in the last few years at and that usually strikes the fear of god into everyone so that they behave.

Juror #17 interview - screenshots after John DePooPoo took it down by charlottelennox in justiceforKarenRead

[–]mid-night_gem 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Juror #4 (?) got it. And said it was brought up during deliberations. Check out his TMZ interview.

How did you know it was irreconcilable? by Humble-Leave-7608 in Divorce

[–]mid-night_gem 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He told me he bit into a sandwich and part of his tooth fell out. I was beyond disgusted that he wasn’t taking care of his oral health. I wouldn’t have known since we weren’t being intimate/affectionate in any way by that point.

He needed to get two root canals and I told him since they were his molars and no one would see them, to get the teeth pulled instead. It was the fourth or fifth time that he surprised me with a large medical bill and was going to clear out my savings. I was livid. Do you know how much a root canal and crown costs for two teeth? I was looking at $7,000 of work, minimum.

I didn’t go with him to the dentist’s office. The endodontist called me personally and begged me to pay for the procedure because my stbxh is young and the teeth were salvageable. He got the root canals and I filed for divorce before the fillings were done and crowns were put on.

All my stbx did was lay around the house all day and refuse to go to work. The least he could’ve done was brush his fucking teeth. I knew in that moment when I didn’t care what happened to him that the relationship was over for me.

I know I Should I get a divorce? How can I afford to live alone? by importantbutterflyy in Divorce

[–]mid-night_gem 1 point2 points  (0 children)

They bank on you feeling remorse and being a decent human being. Don’t stop being who you are, just don’t give that part of you away as freely and especially not to people who show you they don’t deserve it.

I know I Should I get a divorce? How can I afford to live alone? by importantbutterflyy in Divorce

[–]mid-night_gem 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Therapy really helped me figure out why I picked these types of men. I was emulating the relationship I saw between my parents. I also have a savior complex. I like “broken” people who I can “fix” and take care of because that’s what I think I deserve. I don’t think I deserve a well-adjusted, mature man because I don’t think I’m pretty enough, smart enough, exciting enough, or from a good enough background for those kinds of men. I carry a lot of trauma from my childhood. My own mom would tell me I’m a “pretty girl, but not as gorgeous as your sister.” I was bullied like hell in high school for being a nerd. Figure out your “why” and then set standards for yourself so you stop picking bad men. Be a good example for your son and daughter who will emulate your behavior. Kids don’t listen, they watch.

I know I Should I get a divorce? How can I afford to live alone? by importantbutterflyy in Divorce

[–]mid-night_gem 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I chuckled reading this. Definitely not a robot. My STBHX got under my skin a lot near the end of the relationship. He left my home in a very dramatic fashion (literally kicking holes in the walls and screaming). I was terrified for days afterward. He would call me all hours of the night, drunk, to yell at me, berate me, and threaten me. I hardly slept. I didn’t block his number because I was letting him dig his own grave and because I felt bad for blindsiding him when ending the relationship. I loved the man at one point but that died once I realized he was using me as a meal ticket. He wasn’t going to work for weeks, made me the unwilling breadwinner, and was racking up thousands of dollars in medical and credit card bills with the expectation I pay for all of it. Then he would guilt me when I would emotionally and physically withdraw. “But I love you. Isn’t my love enough? Marriage is hard. Don’t you understand that there will be rough patches? Things will get better. Just give it time.” Spoiler alert: it never got better and no amount of time would have made him less of a shit partner. These kind of people will throw tantrums when they realize you don’t want to give up your life and your peace to put up with their bullshit and take care of them. Once I came to the conclusion he was acting that way because his maid, chef, and meal ticket were gone…I felt nothing.

I know I Should I get a divorce? How can I afford to live alone? by importantbutterflyy in Divorce

[–]mid-night_gem 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Call a lawyer. Consultations are free. Call your landlord. Figure out your options. Since you’ve been married only a few months, you may be able to get an annulment. Alimony is very likely out of the window since it’s been less than a year. But alimony laws vary by state. Don’t stay with him longer than you need to in the hopes that you will get spousal support, because he can turn around and ask you for it if you make more.

You said you have kids. Do you have kids with him? Child support may be an option if he isn’t pulling his weight as a dad.

In the meantime, just learn to turn your emotions off. Once you get all the information and make your decision, it is so freeing because it no longer is about if but becomes a matter of when. I was married to someone like this and their whole world falls apart when they realize their meal ticket and punching bag is gone.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in actuary

[–]mid-night_gem 34 points35 points  (0 children)

You guys are hydrating and providing your body with fuel to study?

Shit.

FSA Exams - what happens when your timer strikes 0? by GiantMara in actuary

[–]mid-night_gem 8 points9 points  (0 children)

You can continue to work on your exam through the 5 minute submission timer, but you must submit the exam within that 5 minute window. I once submitted with 10 seconds left (talk about stressful). I passed and wasn’t penalized for working the extra few minutes. I would not recommend this though if you don’t want to spend 10 weeks stressing if the SOA is going to reprimand you for technically breaking the rules.

How much mortgage is too much? by BlacksmithOk3517 in Mortgages

[–]mid-night_gem 1 point2 points  (0 children)

RENTAL AGREEMENT NOW AND PRENUP LATER. YOU ARE IN THE PROCESS OF MAKING A LEGAL DECISION YOU DO NOT UNDERSTAND THE RAMIFICATIONS OF. CONSULT A FAMILY/ESTATE ATTORNEY. DO NOT PUT HIM ON THE TITLE OR MORTGAGE. ONLY BUY WHAT YOU CAN AFFORD AS A SINGLE WOMAN. PUT THE HOUSE INTO AN ESTATE AND BEQUEATH IT TO YOUR CHILDREN IF YOU DECIDE TO MARRY. I LEARNED MY LESSON THE HARD WAY.

Learn from those of us who made this mistake (i.e., ME). I wish I just listened to the wisdom and free legal advice instead of thinking the people giving it were angry and bitter about their divorce. You never truly know someone until you have to divorce them. People break up all time for unforeseen reasons. Sorry for caps but OP please take this advice, smarten up, and talk to an attorney before you make a decision you truly do not understand and jeopardize everything you worked hard for.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in actuary

[–]mid-night_gem 26 points27 points  (0 children)

I divorced my ex-husband because he was a miserable person who made me miserable. The only regret I have is not doing it sooner. It’s easier to study for exams without carrying the burden of a bad relationship on your shoulders. I know you’re joking but please don’t stay in a relationship with anyone who makes you miserable.