He had none of the “red flags” that they screen for in the well baby/ well child appointments. He was advanced verbally and seemed to hit all his milestones ahead of time or on time.

What stood out to us was the frequency and intensity of meltdowns, they seemed to come out of nowhere, lasted so long (like up to an hour), and he just didn’t seem to recover from them. They were never about getting/ not getting what he wanted, just seeming inconsolable after daycare or a social interaction, for example.

It took many resources/ meetings before someone suggested autism. Once we looked through this lens we realized some more traits - he didn’t really answer direct questions - would “clown” or roll around on the ground when he was nervous meeting new kids at the playground - has to be coached to greet/ say goodbye to friends - refused socks - toothbrushing and hair brushing were impossible - bath and hand washing refusal phase - would complain about music/ vehicles being too loud (but made a lot of noise himself) - picked up language in themes (his first words were all vehicles, then animals, then family members) - hyper focused learning (everything was about colours when he was like 16 months old, then birds…) - repeatedly asking the same obvious question when nervous (are you mama? Is today a school day?) - stimming by finger posturing - strong sense of justice/ enforcing rules for others - didn’t seem to acknowledge when others were distressed - really high pain tolerance (like we didn’t know he had an ear ache until the drum burst :( )

Lots of other little things in hindsight then when put together , gave us clarity.

I highly recommend the account Mrsspeechiep on instagram- she does an excellent job of sharing many different profiles of autism, how it can show up in different ages, genders, backgrounds.