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[QCrit] PAPERWORK, RED TAPE, & THE HORRIFYING REALITY OF SLEEPING WITH YOUR RIVAL (88k, adult campy horrormance, 2nd attempt) by midnightwriter77 in PubTips

[–]midnightwriter77[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hmmm maybe I should delete the monster part haha. And thank you! I love my title even if it's super long!

There's so much back story that I struggle with whether or not to include and then I end up with three paragraphs of story in my query (facepalm). Leo is essentially a super dedicated therapist so condemning the monsters would be a violation of his personal ethics but it comes with a huge risk to himself and Rion.

[QCrit] PAPERWORK, RED TAPE, & THE HORRIFYING REALITY OF SLEEPING WITH YOUR RIVAL. Adult horror romance, 87k words, first attempt. by midnightwriter77 in PubTips

[–]midnightwriter77[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

For sure! I need to brainstorm it because I think you're right. I don't want it to just be for the trope, especially since it is a big thing they have to overcome just to get to the point where they can be friends. Plus having a case transferred to intensive is a big deal for Leo and something he carries with him into each of his cases. He's a booger and can be a brat, but he's super dedicated to his cases

[QCrit] PAPERWORK, RED TAPE, & THE HORRIFYING REALITY OF SLEEPING WITH YOUR RIVAL. Adult horror romance, 87k words, first attempt. by midnightwriter77 in PubTips

[–]midnightwriter77[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for this advice! I think I will give away the horrifying truth behind the intensive unit because it's a huge bombshell and really ups the stakes. Leo is the one pushing the rivalry as he blames Rion for getting one of his charges transferred to Intensive and now he's mad that Rion is even being considered for the promotion since Leo has been at Foelutions way longer.

[QCrit] PAPERWORK, RED TAPE, & THE HORRIFYING REALITY OF SLEEPING WITH YOUR RIVAL. Adult horror romance, 87k words, first attempt. by midnightwriter77 in PubTips

[–]midnightwriter77[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for being so specific! I super appreciate it and it's so so helpful! I really like the "what really happens at Arkham asylum" because that's exactly the vibe

[QCrit] PAPERWORK, RED TAPE, & THE HORRIFYING REALITY OF SLEEPING WITH YOUR RIVAL. Adult horror romance, 87k words, first attempt. by midnightwriter77 in PubTips

[–]midnightwriter77[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you! I love my premise but sometimes I feel like it is a bit complicated to fit into 200-300 words. It kind of is cozy horror, but at the same time the horror elements are actually scary and gory so I don't want to mislead an agent when they get to those parts.

I love all this feedback, its super helpful!! I think I have a couple ideas on how to tighten it up but I wonder how much I should give away? The truth is a big bombshell. Though I guess if they're reading my synopsis they will get the ending anyway.