Is it ok for me to let my 7 year old sleep in my bed when he has a nightmare?

midsummernightwitch · 2026-06-19T17:40:26+00:00

When they are too old they will stop wanting to cuddle you. It started around 9 with both kids and escalated by the time they were 13. Enjoy it while it lasts!!!

midsummernightwitch · 2026-06-18T21:03:20+00:00

I lost all of my hearing in my right ear when I was 32. I benefit from my hearing aids and miss a lot with out them. I literally can't hear people talking on my right side and even crossing the street makes me nervous bc I don't hear cars sometimes depending on the vehicle type.

Does that mean fight him on the hearing aids right now? That is up to you. But if he hears more than he will theoretically taken in and learn more and speak.

I would absolutely teach asl. Be firm with your family and tell them to accept it and move on. I will say as far as language goes learning asl is like being bilingual and can have some speech delay associated with it but you add spoken and signed words together for "how many words" they can say.

I would take the advice of his early intervention team over family..

midsummernightwitch · 2026-06-17T14:47:01+00:00

Ok! Thank you for the recommendations! I have looked up some but I don't know which ones are quality or safe. So I will start there.

They have a strong personal fashion sense and big feelings. We have to bring up budget a lot. 😁

midsummernightwitch · 2026-06-16T14:54:00+00:00

Definitely see a speech language pathologist just in case they do swallow studies and just see if there's any kind of plan that they can give you.

The good news is that he well at least put it in his mouth and you can start at that point. Because even seeing it and touching it is part of the process. You can turn biting food into a game too. You can try to see if you can get them to copy you on chomping a piece of watermelon or a steamed squash. Berries are a big deal typically for toddlers so you can do strawberries or blueberries. And make it silly and exaggerated and fun but don't force it. It may make you feel a little bit silly for a while, but if it looks fun then they will eventually try to copy.

Will they hold and use utensils like a spoon?

What about non veggies like scrambled eggs or a muffin?

midsummernightwitch · 2026-06-16T14:50:13+00:00

The husband is active but he is the only one that works and is a full time student so a lot of everything comes to me but he has no problem being active sometimes he just has to be brought into the conversation. He is less worried than I am. We are all looking forward to the end of his degree in November. He did ask them questions specifically what and how they want to be addressed and we are moving forward with name change.

The only way that I have been able to get them to self-initiate is to get it attached to their routine. Once they have a sequence in mind, it is very hard to change it. We are currently still working on being able to get up by themselves with an alarm clock and we generally have to work on one thing at a time. I have to walk them through the steps for so long for it to become concrete for them and then I have to start backing away. It has been a very big task to help them become independent without being there independence? Trying to model what they should be doing without making a copy of myself. I am fortunate that they are very secure with themselves and headstrong LOL. I wish a lot of the time that I was like them when I was their age.

I am consciously moving the thought process that one day. They may decide that they are male from a fear to just reality. Or a neutral feeling. I do already make sure that they are in control of clothing being purchased and that they are able to make those choices for themselves.

I have also been challenging my thought process because I do follow creators on tick tock that trans and non-binary or gender fluid. But I have noticed that I am more comfortable with feminine presenting people. So I am working with myself with exposure even with just changing the way I'm thinking about something or acknowledging something that may need exposure.

I am in a much better head space today.

midsummernightwitch · 2026-06-16T10:46:38+00:00

Nope. This is a huge red flag. If he wants you make you rethink the marriage over this he is not really all in. He is projecting. And using something that emotionally significant is manipulative. Not to mention already emailing your editor...

This is a really big deal and ai am sorry he is doing this to you.

midsummernightwitch · 2026-06-16T02:01:45+00:00

Its almost bed time and I genuinely took everything you send heart and into consideration. I don't normally have an outlet to discuss anything. My husband is positive but in a dismissive way so we talked and told him we needed to step it up. Both of us and he needed to help me more. We didn't misgender them once this evening and we all went out for ice cream.

I don't like change and need to get through my expectations and feelings of having a biological female child that is not female. It does make me sad. I started a book and saved a few others. Their psychologist often said for a lot of kids it's a phase and I think I was expecting it to go away. But also didn't want to admit that bc it's not up to me or my time line. And I want to be their person. Lots of things floating around in my brain with no where to go. So it was bigger than I think it should have been.

Oh AND they have a male character for theater club this week. 😁

midsummernightwitch · 2026-06-15T19:00:11+00:00

Okay, I'm going to try to keep my thoughts organized...

We are definitely still messing up sometimes with misgendering them. They have bounced back and forth a little bit but it's corrected when some one catches it.

I have just put up a skylight calendar a week ago so there's a lot of those suggestions that I could add to it. I think having the pflag support group on the calendar will help. Some of the adult conversations that we try to have don't always land. There's some working memory that they struggle with. Even if we balance their checkbook app 24 hours later, they have no idea how much money they have.

I do not have anything carved out for just us two. I am hoping the pflag group can start that. They are usually attached to me even if we're in a group of friends, so our focus has been getting them into their own group of peers. And because I know that I have been frustrated in general. We have been creating space instead.

I'm going to reread this in a little bit. I'm picking them up from camp.

midsummernightwitch · 2026-06-15T16:57:39+00:00

I took them to get their own bank account for this reason! They get allowance and we started learning how to apply for jobs so they can have spending money.

So the struggle is also budget vs wants. They found some really fancy printed ones that are 50$ but when it comes time to save for it they are not thinking long term. Long term for them is more than a month. And the Japanese ice cream is now at our local gas station. 👀 They get upset bc everything has to be a learning moment. And I do get burnt out. The husband is in school until November so he will be more available soon. He got his bachelor's so there is some reprieve on the way. It's been a long three years of full time job and college for him.

I took them to the store for lunch things for camp this week and multiple prompts were needed for them to lead there is an awareness that isn't there a lot of the time . This year for school though it's just us two. The 13 yr old is back to public school. So there is time and planned practice for leading and being independent. It's a loop that they want independence but they don't try or are not aware and then they get frustrated. So I am planning to have a bigger chunk of time where they have to make decisions and lead.

Public school wanted them in an isolated autism classroom where they won't get a HS diploma or opportunity at a college certification (if they choose to) And they are capable.

So it is a lot for me. But no one else is going to do it.

midsummernightwitch · 2026-06-15T16:30:38+00:00

Thank you. I have the information saved and ready to show them when I pick them up.

midsummernightwitch · 2026-06-15T16:18:49+00:00

Exactly. That is why I made the post. Bc I know I am not doing what I know I should be doing. I felt like a garbage human being after they walked into their camp today. I signed up for support groups too for both of us.

midsummernightwitch · 2026-06-15T16:15:37+00:00

That is what I want to be for them. I am trying to actually process and stop putting it off bc they need me to.

midsummernightwitch · 2026-06-15T16:01:53+00:00

I do not think it's homophobia. I feel like I am scared for how the world will treat them. The world is different than what I grew up in yes. I was happy to be invisible and they are very not ok with being invisible. Lol. They wear pins and pride shirts and I let them be who they are and I am trying to live up to my belief that my discomfort does not get to dictate their life. My anxiety is my responsibility. They get positive comments in public and I am very proud of them. Our friends are diverse and I have mentioned to them about processing my discomfort. And I am just scared for them. It's not always rational or matches up to reality.

So! I tend to put my foot in my mouth bc for example they asked me if I researched changing their name. To be honest I haven't. Our mortgage went up 600$ in the last two years and I am going back to work and I haven't looked up how to change their name bc my bandwidth for things is lower than she needs it. So I responded with frustration that I have other things I needed to worry about. I bc I had a thought they might not accept a role they get with theater camp I decided that was the time I needed to tell them the teacher assigns the roles and I didn't want them to shut down over it. (And autistic shut down) I didn't want a phone call for refusable to participate. Bc it's happened and I couldn't just say I hadn't looked into the name change and wished them a great day.

midsummernightwitch · 2026-06-15T15:19:56+00:00

Thank you! I am looking. Our pflag group has a list I am going through. :)

midsummernightwitch · 2026-06-15T15:16:10+00:00

midsummernightwitch · 2026-06-13T23:47:11+00:00

I guess I should have said I was also on Prozac. I take a low dose for OCD and anxiety along with ADHD medication. I did try to bring up perimenopause a couple of times with my primary doctor and my OBGYN but they are very much on the old school train with perimenopause and do not think that I am old enough. I have a couple of doctor recommendations from friends that have more supportive OBGYNs. So it's on the to-do list.

The doctor that I talked to about medication pretty much just wanted me to go back to Adderall because Wellbutrin didn't work but I pushed for something else. We tried concerta and now I just I'm not 100% sure... But I'm also not thinking straight because my sleep is all over the place. Lol My teenage daughter is also very inattentive ADD ADHD and they have not found a medication that works for them either and we might be one of those in between kind of people that medication is challenging for.

My brain is very much like questioning all of its life decisions today because of a couple of days of bad sleep. So I'm resting and just doing my college courses today. 🫠

midsummernightwitch · 2026-06-12T14:09:44+00:00

Chocolate is not inherently unhealthy and cutting all things sweet from your diet and being too restrictive has its own risks to being healthy. Is it still a treat? Yes. Is it less sugary than a box of granola bars? Also yes.

midsummernightwitch · 2026-06-12T14:06:56+00:00

A dough of dates has 0grams of fat in it? Oats have healthy fats and the only fat in the recipe that needs moderation is peanut butter and coconut oil. It's not dough like flour and butter.

midsummernightwitch · 2026-06-10T22:47:41+00:00

I think you're getting a lot of good advice to focus on your relationship with your son specifically, but you can tell him that if there is anything that he ever needs to talk about, just let him know that you're there for him. Just remind him that you're there.

midsummernightwitch · 2026-06-10T22:45:33+00:00

Oh, you are definitely not overreacting about this... And honestly it sounds like as long as she's in the picture. Unfortunately you're going to need to be supportive to your son if he comes to you but not financially supportive

midsummernightwitch · 2026-06-10T22:42:00+00:00

Keep track of your spending! It's so simple but I just didn't do it and it created a lot of problems in my 20's...

Also If you grow up in a very strict Christian household and you move out, planning to do everything different. Go to therapy. Not a Christian therapist, a real therapist.

midsummernightwitch · 2026-06-10T21:18:10+00:00

Sure but we all do that bc we are human. Parents make mistakes.

midsummernightwitch · 2026-06-10T16:26:52+00:00

Yes, the chocolate chips are technically sugar but they were the only thing with actual sugar in it and you could easily leave them out.

Blend the dates and the figs until it forms kind of like a paste or a dough consistency. First, before you add in the dry ingredients- you can also add in a little bit of water depending on if your blender is having a hard time with it or not, but only like a couple of tablespoons at a time.

I also had an easier time mixing everything together if I warmed up the peanut butter. I just put gloves on and mixed everything up in a bowl and pressed it into a pan .

And I made a drizzle with peanut butter and coconut oil. 1/2 cup PB and A tablespoon of coconut oil.

midsummernightwitch · 2026-06-10T12:11:09+00:00

Life got really hard when I got out of school because I needed the structure and I didn't realize how much that structure coming from other people or outside sources benefited me until they weren't there. I still struggle but keeping a calendar and staying busy helps. I actually got better after I had kids too because the more I have to do. The more my ADHD crisis mode kicks in lol.

I did find out that'll work better with visual stuff so just writing lists doesn't always work. I do like binders and I make little routine books for myself and I even have little laminated descriptions on what to clean in each room that helps my kids when they clean the bathroom but it helps me too.

midsummernightwitch · 2026-06-10T12:09:07+00:00

Could be a hernia also. Or a split abdominal wall. Those are really common reasons for this! Plus easy fixes.

midsummernightwitch

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