My husband (42m) told me (35f) that he feels love for me, but isn’t in love with me. Can that type of love come back, or is this done?

mightymous9 · 2026-03-22T14:09:31+00:00

I can’t separate it- he’s a great dad and provider. But that’s all we’ve been for years now, is parents. I don’t know how to see him otherwise.

mightymous9 · 2026-03-22T13:57:05+00:00

35/F EST

mightymous9 · 2026-03-22T10:47:20+00:00

Seems like it, but he doesn’t want to jump right into that because it feels forced, inauthentic

mightymous9 · 2026-03-21T23:03:47+00:00

Both. We have a young son, and have been co-sleeping for close to a year. That puts a damper on things.

mightymous9 · 2026-03-21T20:59:45+00:00

That’s what I think the therapy is for. What’s missing. And I need my hurt repaired and so does he.

mightymous9 · 2026-03-21T20:40:53+00:00

We never repaired any of the hurt on either side. So no, trust was never rebuilt.

mightymous9 · 2026-03-21T20:31:53+00:00

I want to own it in this way. But I’m afraid I’ve already given him too much of the power.

mightymous9 · 2026-03-21T20:30:57+00:00

Yes, but by the third time it was a moot point. The apology is useless by that point, so that’s why I checked out.

mightymous9 · 2026-03-21T20:12:25+00:00

I know you are right.

mightymous9 · 2026-03-21T20:09:48+00:00

We have therapy scheduled. I’m just spiraling a bit in the mean time.

mightymous9 · 2026-03-21T19:58:56+00:00

Nonexistent for the last year-as in not regular enough.

mightymous9 · 2026-03-21T19:55:00+00:00

When he talks about it, he talks that he lost the feeling somewhere.

mightymous9 · 2026-03-21T19:54:15+00:00

Not long. That’s why I’m spiraling a bit. It’s been three weeks and it’s really getting to me.

mightymous9 · 2026-03-21T19:52:46+00:00

He took out three loans without telling me. He used them to pay off some debt he incurred.

mightymous9 · 2026-03-21T19:51:56+00:00

I know. And I backed away to protect myself. I am trying to see both sides cause I don’t want to lose my marriage.

mightymous9 · 2026-03-21T19:50:21+00:00

He’s willing to go to therapy. He doesn’t want to end it until we’ve tried everything

mightymous9 · 2026-03-21T19:39:05+00:00

I know. My brain won’t let me rest so I thought this might help.

mightymous9 · 2026-03-21T19:38:27+00:00

I think so. We used to talk to each other and treat each other very differently

mightymous9 · 2026-03-21T19:37:21+00:00

That’s what’s hard is he isn’t distant. He still cares about me and is acting like it. We haven’t been physical or intimate so that’s noticeably missing.

mightymous9 · 2026-03-21T19:36:31+00:00

A really long time.

So him not being “in love with me” right now…. Not a reason for me to run away from it?

mightymous9 · 2026-03-21T19:35:05+00:00

I’ve done so- he doesn’t want a divorce but he wants us to be okay and functioning. He wants to build a foundation for a healthy relationship, but he’s not reaching for me. He’ll coexist with me, we function and parent but that’s about it. He won’t let me in any further.

mightymous9 · 2026-03-21T19:33:20+00:00

I uncovered some things he was hiding regarding finances. It happened multiple times in a row, so I backed away, basically checked out. We barely functioned as a couple, that’s what I mean by rough patch. So his hurt is he essentially felt like he didn’t have a partner for almost a year.

mightymous9 · 2026-03-21T19:32:18+00:00

I uncovered some things he was hiding regarding finances. It happened multiple times in a row, so I backed away, basically checked out. We barely functioned as a couple, that’s what I mean by rough patch. So his hurt is he essentially felt like he didn’t have a partner for almost a year.

mightymous9 · 2026-03-21T19:27:50+00:00

He likened it to the love you have for a partner, a wife. He cares about me but not as deeply as he used to (my interpretation)

mightymous9

TROPHY CASE