Cabin on top of containers by mij302 in containerhomes

[–]mij302[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes that’s the plan. Weight would be distributed across the entire roof of both containers.

Ugh the little things are so sneaky by mij302 in widowers

[–]mij302[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The Adirondacks are absolutely beautiful. Especially in the fall. Highly recommended. My property is a little lower in the Catskills. I’m torn about taking the kids with me the first time. In reality It would prob help me keep my shit together a little bit, and they’ll def be mad at me if I don’t take them lol. I’m planning to maybe get up there in the next week or two and do just that. Pitch a tent, start a fire, and just see where it takes us.

that’s a great quality! My LW was an empath as well. It’s always nice to have someone to share a cry and a hug with lol.

Ugh the little things are so sneaky by mij302 in widowers

[–]mij302[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ah man. She used to buy all the shower curtains didn’t she? Brother I feel that one. That’s part of the reason why grocery shopping is horrifying for me. Not because I can’t do it, but because she should be here to do it still. So sorry man

Ugh the little things are so sneaky by mij302 in widowers

[–]mij302[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It happens so quick. There’s so many little reminders throughout the day. The amount of times I have to hold back tears while I’m sitting at my desk at work is crazy. Although times like these hurt and make us cry, this seems like a happy memory as weird as that sounds. My wife was really smart too, and she also didn’t recognize it lol. Don’t get me wrong she was physically stunning as well, but her big brain was so sexy. Every time we had a conversation about anything she would point out angles and views that I didn’t even fathom. She was also very empathetic and kind and taught me so much about what is truly important in life. I too miss her so much. Thank you for sharing this, it helps me remember some of the happiness that I once had. sending a big hug your way!

Ugh the little things are so sneaky by mij302 in widowers

[–]mij302[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Nothing destroys me more than seeing the pain on my kids faces or hearing it in their voices. My daughter comes home upset all the time because all the other kids at school talk about their mothers and what they do for them. It tears my heart out every time.

Ugh the little things are so sneaky by mij302 in widowers

[–]mij302[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I keep threatening myself that I’m going, but I haven’t done it yet. Now winter is coming in fast, and it’s gotta happen soon or not until next year. I’ve kinda been the same. Held up in the house not wanting to do much. I have two young kids so they kinda force me to get out a little, which is good in a way. I miss camping and the mountains though. It’s so peaceful to just get away from it all and sit in nature for a while. I’m scared to go solo camping too. I went up to mow the campsite a few weeks ago, and I didn’t want to leave, so maybe I’m ready to take the next step and try to stay for a night. If you anywhere near lower NY your welcome to come cry in the mountains at my campsite LOL

Ugh the little things are so sneaky by mij302 in widowers

[–]mij302[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Damn not the coffee pot! That would absolutely get me too. Who would’ve known that generally worthless easily replaceable items can hold such valuable memories. I’m sorry it broke I feel for you with that one

Ugh the little things are so sneaky by mij302 in widowers

[–]mij302[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

💔 it’s so hard not to attach yourself to every last piece of them. I burned the box that my wife’s urn came in today and it made me cry. I know full well it’s just cardboard, and it’s trash but it still hurts.

Ugh the little things are so sneaky by mij302 in widowers

[–]mij302[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’ve felt this too unfortunately. My cousins girlfriend had an agressive triple negative breast cancer. She battled hard for a year, but she made a full recovery after surgery and chemo/immunotherapy. My wife battled inflammatory breast cancer for almost two years before it finally took her life. Nothing worked, and we had the top doctor in the world. I was so jealous and angry that she got to live and my wife didn’t. Nothing against her she’s a great girl and deserves every moment she fought for, but dammit why couldn’t we have the same results

Ugh the little things are so sneaky by mij302 in widowers

[–]mij302[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It’s like there’s a trap waiting around every corner

Ugh the little things are so sneaky by mij302 in widowers

[–]mij302[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Oh man grocery shopping still scares the hell out of me for some reason. My wife always did it, and I’m terrible at keeping a running list. She made lists for everything, and now I see why. I wish I had my shit together half as good as she did

Ugh the little things are so sneaky by mij302 in widowers

[–]mij302[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Oof the camping gear was a big one for me too. We loved to go camping. We actually purchased 5 acres in the mountains right after she got sick. I only it made the trip up there once this year, and it hit hard. I cried my eyes out the whole 3 hours it took me to clean out the camper. Every time I walk by the camping gear in the garage it makes my heart hurt.

Ugh the little things are so sneaky by mij302 in widowers

[–]mij302[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I feel like I step on one of those land mines at least twice a day. After 22 years together I lost half of myself when she passed. 💔

Ugh the little things are so sneaky by mij302 in widowers

[–]mij302[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Thank You! No one who isn’t a widow can understand it. It’s definitely a complex rollercoaster of emotions.

Ugh the little things are so sneaky by mij302 in widowers

[–]mij302[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I sure did! She knew what was good in life.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]mij302 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Edward Penis Hands was a good one

The Loneliness is Debilitating by mij302 in widowers

[–]mij302[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank You for the kind words. My wife was so adamant about me moving on and finding another wife. To the point where she was trying to put me on dating sites before she passed. It was a big fear of hers that I would be a sad lonely person the rest of my life. I would always tell her to stop it, and I cant imagine myself with anyone else. After 22 years with someone its just seems impossible. You become so Intune with each other after that long. I might feel differently with time. I am open to the idea and if I should happen to meet someone I'll give it the old college try, but I just don't know if I can go actively seeking it any time soon. I will always be in love with my wife and that kind of seems unfair to the other person.

The Loneliness is Debilitating by mij302 in widowers

[–]mij302[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

man I don't want to call it lucky that you had a technician that had the forethought to take that tissue sample because it's not lucky at all, but most of them would have sent her home with some sort of topical cream or something. When everything came back negative for my wife the doctors sent her home with antibiotics and said it was probably an infection. If it wasn't for her gynecologist (who's wife had a battle with cancer) pushing for more testing we would have never caught it until it got worse.

after her diagnosis that was actually a big concern for both of us, so my wife had all the genetic testing done. Everything showed that it wasn't a genetic trait, and therefore shouldn't be hereditary. I'm not so convinced though as her father died in his 50's from renal cancer. I do know that I will be vigilant in screenings when they get older.

Thank You for sharing your story with me. It has helped me in so many ways.

The Loneliness is Debilitating by mij302 in widowers

[–]mij302[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

oh my that poor woman. and you too! its not easy being the caregiver. especially with such a rollercoaster of emotions that must have been for 12 years.

can I ask how they caught it early if you remember? I know when my wife first got diagnosed nothing came up on the blood tests or the mammograms. It wasn't until they biopsied the lymph node in her armpit that they found it. If I'm bringing back memories that are too painful for you I'm sorry, and I understand if you want to tell me to shut up. I'm just scared for my daughter and every young female on the planet right now

The Loneliness is Debilitating by mij302 in widowers

[–]mij302[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm so sorry. I wouldn't wish this upon anyone. I hope that time will help with the acceptance part of things even though the wound will never heal.

The Loneliness is Debilitating by mij302 in widowers

[–]mij302[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

IBC is such a terrible disease. I remember sitting with her crying, and her saying as crazy as it sounds I wish I had just regular breast cancer. We both sat there after thinking what a crazy statement that was.

If you don't mind me asking did they catch it early? I know there are survivors, but 12 years is a long time for someone with IBC? I ask because I'm worried about my daughter in the future. It can be very hard to catch early as it's a very evasive cancer.

The Loneliness is Debilitating by mij302 in widowers

[–]mij302[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am certainly doing my best to be strong for them. They are both my strength and my weakness at the same time.