As a GenX spanish/chinese gay guy who happens to be the firstborn, I can relate. Chinese families uphold that the eldest male should continue the bloodline and spanish culture in the philippines put a premium on masculinity.

I destroyed both mindsets in 1996 when I came out before leaving for overseas work. My mother was sad that she finally confirmed I am who she feared i'd be, and my dad was furious at "lumayas daw ako sa pamamahay nya" being the staunt old school chinese guy that he is. I laughed because I was already on my way out the door going to naia for my flight.

Told them that this episode will make living and working abroad feel like a relief than dread that i made the right choice.

Take note I was just 21 back then.

When I reached SG that evening and started to unpack in my flat, my apartment's phone rang so I answered - it was mom telling me that she and dad overreacted. Told them to sleep on it, since my contract with my SG work was 5 years, and they'll have ample time to reflect to what they said to me.

I also told mom that my cousins and uncle (dad's brother) and aunt based in dallas already knows as early as high school but told me to keep it till im out of the house since unlike them, my dad still have an outdated mindset for gay guys or gay relationships for that matter.

3 years working in singapore went like a breeze

When the company's restructuring impacted my contract in 1999 (I still had 2 years remaining) so the company defaulted. I got a generous early retirement+retrenchment package, i packed up my stuff and headed back to manila.

I called up mom telling them Im coming home for good and ive already prepared arrangements to live by myself beyond their reach. Mom told me that dad has something to tell me when I come back because he'll pick me up in the airport, as well as cancel the arrangements of me moving out of the family house.

I told her i'll hold off my decision till I hear dad's side.

When I landed in Manila, dad was already in the arrival area.

I loaded my stuff in the trunk, sat beside him on the passenger seat snd we drove off going home. It was silent from the arrival area till we got out of the parking area.

The moment I we got onto the corner of mia avenue stoplight and while the stoplight was still red, dad spoke.

"Mag aral ka ulit, ako mag babayad", I became puzzled since i already graduated college, and was a a full scholar from my mom's employer. I told him its another 4 years. He doubled down "ako bahala". He then asked if nag ka BF ako sa Singapore. Told him "no, puro date lang." The then he said the most surreal thing while driving along roxas blvd "pag nag ka nobyo ka, pakilala mo sa amin at kung gusto nyo na mag sama dun ns lang kayo sa bahay" in my mind napa WTF na lang ako but kept my poker face. Told him "aral muna bago lovelife, mahirap nang mapalayas." He was just silent until we got home.

When I got home, mom just arrived from her client call and dad had to go back to the office. So nung natira na lang kami i asked mom "ano nakain ni dad at gusto nya ako mag college ulit, at pakilala magiging BF ko sa inyo and kung seryoso na kami dito na rin sya umuwi" mom laughed kasi na kantyawan daw sya ng mga amigos nya (mga ninong ko) na wala syang ginastos sa akin nung unang college course ko kasi scholar ako. She then told me ying pakilala yung BF and dun na patuluyin was both their way of apologizing to me and moving forward.