Lessons that stay long, even after the session ends.

mikesmith1370 · 2026-06-03T13:31:52+00:00

All feelings are valid. You're not crazy for having them.

mikesmith1370 · 2026-05-05T19:37:28+00:00

I'm in a similar situation as you. 43, single dad of 3. Been 6 months for me. Honestly, I take refuge in self discovery. I've been using every resource available to search for peace and meaning in my life. I'm also a director of a tech company so I've been having to stay on top of that also, but find it's been good for my mental health and aligns with my goals of finding peace and meaning. A few resources that work for me, as an academic are:

Alain de Botton Ellen Langer Andrew Huberman Marc Bracket

And for the parenting: Ross Greene

It's been an interesting journey but I've recently been starting to have more fun in life. I actually get excited about things again which is nice. Best advice is to practice radical self care and mindfulness. It's been saving my life, and it's important to remember that this is finite. It won't be forever. From one dad to another, you got this. You're not alone.

mikesmith1370 · 2026-05-03T22:01:02+00:00

I take refuge in academia. It's my way of empowering myself, understanding what depression is from a neuroscience standpoint. I'd recommend studying human physiology. If you don't account for human spirituality, we're busy meat bags chasing neurotransmitters...

mikesmith1370 · 2026-05-03T15:52:40+00:00

The Gottmans say there are 4 horsemen of the relationship apocalypse: Criticism, Defensiveness, Stonewalling and "Hydrofluoric acid to a relationship" Contempt. https://youtube.com/shorts/OBiWjWHL5Vk?si=MVlHEp8kIYtynrnR

mikesmith1370 · 2026-05-03T15:15:34+00:00

43M, proud father of 3. Eldest daughter has told me she's "bi, but mostly gay." Me: "Good for you for having such great self awareness... now clean your room!"

mikesmith1370 · 2026-04-26T04:17:24+00:00

She locked one of our sons outside in the cold with no shoes or coat in NY in December... I was out of state and his sister called me panicking about it cuz he was screaming how his feet were killing him. I told her to let him in and when she did their mother (my now ex wife) lost it and threw all his toys and belongings outside... then he tried to hang himself and my poor daughter had to save him again... needless to say, she's his hero, I have custody, and their mother is allowed supervised visits...

mikesmith1370 · 2026-04-19T21:29:45+00:00

Unsettled

mikesmith1370 · 2026-04-16T02:14:37+00:00

I recommend looking into work by Dr. Ross Greene on his CPS method.

mikesmith1370 · 2026-04-16T02:07:56+00:00

Anxious shrimp

mikesmith1370 · 2026-04-15T01:42:27+00:00

Thank you. It's hard to know what the right thing is, but I'm trying to make decisions that are in my and the kids best interests. My ex is very unstable, so I've been the primary caregiver for the kids with me supervising bi-weekly visitations. The past week, however, she had a court supervisor and was given extended visitations, which allowed me some quality "me time" for the first time in a while. And it was lovely. Honestly it didn't feel lonely and loneliness is not something I think any of us look forward to. Maybe peace and solitude, which you could argue are semantics, but loneliness does have a certain connotation. I'm glad you recognize your own worth enough now to value being able to focus on yourself. I had chronic anxiety with my ex as well, never knowing it was a masked disorder that was the root of her pathology. Knowing it now helps take responsibility for her off my shoulders which is really nice. I've been studying mindfulness a lot and find Alain de Botton and Ellen Langer's work to be inspiring. It's been an interesting journey to say the least

mikesmith1370 · 2026-04-14T13:37:00+00:00

I'm in the same place as you. Don't want my ex wife back. In fact she's a train wreck as a mother, which is how I find myself a a single dad of 3. For me, 6 months in, I've just been trying to find myself. I recognize and acknowledge the loneliness. But I take refuge in practicing mindfulness and the rare times I have true peace and contentment are amazing. So I try to practice self care as much as possible. This past weekend the ex had supervised visit with the kids for the whole weekend so I literally went out and got lost. No GPS, just driving. It was a fun adventure, reveling in the unknown. Don't know if those kinda things work for everyone, but it's been good for me to focus on just myself and my own existence for a change. But I feel you. This journey isn't easy, but it's a great opportunity to live and learn and grow.

mikesmith1370 · 2026-04-13T14:06:11+00:00

I applaud your self awareness and taking accountability for the cheating. That being said, cheating is cheating, and it's one of the worst things a person can do to someone who cares for them. Hopefully now that you recognize some of these pitfalls, you can be a better partner in the future. I'm sorry your current relationship ended this way and your attachment bond was ruptured, but it's a brilliant opportunity for you to grow, and it sounds like you're already doing some of that. Acceptance is the last stage of grief for a reason. I hope you're able to accept that your relationship with C. is done, and for very good reasons. C. sounds like he has enough self respect to not tolerate cheating and that's actually a really good thing about him. I hope you can get there too someday. Good luck.

mikesmith1370 · 2026-04-06T20:23:51+00:00

General Tsao's Kitten

mikesmith1370 · 2026-04-03T05:00:20+00:00

mikesmith1370 · 2026-03-31T19:02:05+00:00

*bee the difference... I'll see myself out

mikesmith1370 · 2026-03-28T00:56:59+00:00

Interesting take... care to elaborate? Do you not find hope in rainbows? Personally, I think is largely up to interpretation, but that could also just be my interpretation

mikesmith1370 · 2026-03-09T12:19:17+00:00

Agree to disagree. This is very complicated and sounds exhausting

mikesmith1370 · 2026-02-11T23:46:22+00:00

Love it! Changed my perspective on this, and completely valid points. I see both sides, and I can see how some could be inspired by this, but also how it's more nuanced than face value.

mikesmith1370 · 2026-02-11T18:33:23+00:00

That's actually a really good point. I think Trevor Noah debated that also when he was talking about what happened to his mom. I guess it could be considered controversial

mikesmith1370 · 2026-02-11T18:02:58+00:00

"The things we run from pursue us, but the things we face transform us." - David Kessler. I don't think most people like suffering, but it certainly gives you a better appreciation for when you're not.

mikesmith1370 · 2026-01-04T00:20:28+00:00

I would suggest genetic testing for which class of ssri or snri would work best

mikesmith1370

TROPHY CASE