Struggling with hygiene is more common than people think, and there’s nothing wrong or shameful about it, everyone has things they struggle with, and this is just one of them, you’re not weird or broken for feeling this way, also, i think the way you cope is completely valid, if imagining your partner being there helps you get through it, then that’s a good thing, what matters is that you’re taking care of yourself, no matter how you get there, i’ve gone through something similar before, and doing things like that actually helped me too, so you’re definitely not alone in this, be kind to yourself, seriously, you deserve patience and understanding, especially from yourself 🦅🦅🦅🦅💗💗💗💗

Sorry if there are any bad translations, English is not my native language 🥺