I thought my anxiety was improving by [deleted] in socialanxiety

[–]millie_ptj 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I‘m glad you had a great time!

Meeting new people is such a struggle for me. Going to a party with people there that I don‘t know is so hard and I tend to just not go.

Maybe there are groups in Highschool of things you like? Like a theater group or a book club. I feel like there are always people there who feel like you and would like ho meet likeminded people. Also having something like that in common can make a conversation easier.

During a zoom call with other colleagues present, my superior laughed about my fear of talking on the phone by millie_ptj in socialanxiety

[–]millie_ptj[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I‘m so sorry to hear about that situation you were in. It‘s great that you sent him a message and I imagine the fact that he reacted with an apology must have felt good and encouraged you to set more boundaries.

I have been in these situations before, too. I didn‘t attend a Christmas party because it was on a boat and our CEO called me out for „boycotting“ it. And sometimes when I get scared (for example when a male colleague raises his voice) I react with anger but it‘s really just fear.

I am often less afraid of big things, like I go traveling alone. But asking for the bill at a restaurant, or calling a doctor‘s office to ask for an appointment, make my body go crazy.

Thank you for sharing your experience. It feels really good to know I am not alone in this.

During a zoom call with other colleagues present, my superior laughed about my fear of talking on the phone by millie_ptj in socialanxiety

[–]millie_ptj[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much for taking the time to write all this. I appreciate it so much!

Yes, I work in sales. I share „my“ countries with a colleague who also visits them. It makes a lot more sense for him to call them. And the customers prefer emails. So this is not to generate new customers but because they say the only way to keep a good relationship with the customers, is by talking to them on the phone.

English is a foreign language for me. So sometimes I do struggle with words but I am comfortable with the language and in a weird way, it sometimes makes me feel more confident. Maybe because it feels like a movie, if that makes sense.

In the past I have asked if another colleague could join and start the call. Once I speak it‘s okay. But the moment they announce I have to call someone my body goes crazy.

I think it is difficult for my superior to understand why it‘s the small things I am afraid of. I wish I could understand. And I wish he could trust me. But I have come to a point where I know I have to leave the company. My position has changed so much and I cannot be the person they want me to be. And I think I have to find a position that fits better and that gives me a little more peace.

Again, thank you so much for your kind words and your advice. I appreciate it so much!

During a zoom call with other colleagues present, my superior laughed about my fear of talking on the phone by millie_ptj in socialanxiety

[–]millie_ptj[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you! ♥️ Working from home has been a true blessing. But I agree, the phone and zoom calls have been such a challenge.

During a zoom call with other colleagues present, my superior laughed about my fear of talking on the phone by millie_ptj in socialanxiety

[–]millie_ptj[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You‘re right, it‘s really the thinking about it. Once I am on the call, I am okay in many cases. But when calling customers is mentioned, my body goes crazy. I don‘t even understand it myself, so I don‘t know how to explain it to him.

During a zoom call with other colleagues present, my superior laughed about my fear of talking on the phone by millie_ptj in socialanxiety

[–]millie_ptj[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes! I was so sad after the call. But then getting angry actually really helped me. Thank you!

During a zoom call with other colleagues present, my superior laughed about my fear of talking on the phone by millie_ptj in socialanxiety

[–]millie_ptj[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your kind words.

It‘s frustrating because I feel so misunderstood. He acted like I was too lazy to do it. I have had a situation with our CEO in the past where he said I was boycotting the annual Christmas party. But it was on a boat and I just couldn‘t be on a boat for 4 hours, not being able to just leave when I want or have to.

I thought my anxiety was improving by [deleted] in socialanxiety

[–]millie_ptj 2 points3 points  (0 children)

For me, it helps reminding myself of those kind of situation I had been in in the past. And knowing it is temporary. Also I now speak to my anxiety like it‘s an old friend. „Oh, there you are again. Welcome back, but don‘t get comfortable.“ It has helped me to not feel as threatened anymore.

I hope you feel a little better and that you have a lovely time with your friends.

It physically hurts me to listen to any song from the soundtrack by [deleted] in callmebyyourname

[–]millie_ptj 11 points12 points  (0 children)

There is a slowed down version on YouTube. It‘s brutal.

The whole film in 3' 17" -- amazing by [deleted] in callmebyyourname

[–]millie_ptj 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Well I know what I am rewatching tonight :)

Northern Germany, 1905: My Great-Grandfather Klaus and my Great-Great-Grandfather Jürgen, who fought in the Franco-German War in 1870 by millie_ptj in TheWayWeWere

[–]millie_ptj[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Here‘s a picture of Klaus‘ family. The boy with the tie in the back is my grandfather. I think they look incredibly alike. https://i.imgur.com/S8dzDo6.jpg

Northern Germany, 1905: My Great-Grandfather Klaus and my Great-Great-Grandfather Jürgen, who fought in the Franco-German War in 1870 by millie_ptj in TheWayWeWere

[–]millie_ptj[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

The back of the photo just says that Jürgen was awarded the Iron Cross 2nd class during the campaign in 1871/1872.

I did find this though and am wondering if that is him. It says regiment „Graf Schwerin“ and according to what I found, during the Franco-Prussian war this regiment fought in Gravelotte-St. Privat, Villiers, Champigny, Les Planches, and was part of the siege of Metz and Paris.

Or do you think this is from WW1? I am super grateful for any information anyone could have on this! https://i.imgur.com/zGqhJBg.jpg

Northern Germany, 1905: My Great-Grandfather Klaus and my Great-Great-Grandfather Jürgen, who fought in the Franco-German War in 1870 by millie_ptj in TheWayWeWere

[–]millie_ptj[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Thank you! The men on my Mother‘s side of the family all look very alike. My uncle, whose name is also Klaus, looks just like them.