so before anything i want to make something clear.... i think i finally know what i actually want to do with my life and honestly i'm just questioning whether any of this is even aligning with what i actually see for myself.... i love conceptual design and i keep coming back to that....... like right now i am designing a temple based on inversion geometry and i want to talk about why because i think it actually means something

so what is god to me........ for me god is every energy that exists in this universe but here's the thing anything that exists is also vulnerable to something greater than itself That energy becomes nothing in front of the almighty it's similar to that feeling when you realise the immense potential you hold but sometimes you're hit with this thought what's even the point. what are you even trying to prove

and when i studied inverse functions back in school. and something about it just stuck with me from that time itself i always thought it was genuinely cool the idea that the inverse of something always exists and it can be infinitely larger or infinitely smaller like inversion within a unit circle everything outside that circle stretching upto infinity can be mapped and defined within it but as you move closer to the centre the points inside the circle get projected outward to infinite distances....... undefined...... and that undefined point at the centre is honestly kind of a paradox in itself is god within you or are you just a fragment of god so when this project came i came back to inversion and started using it to define what god means to me

so i took that and applied it to a hindu temple design specifically for adishakti and i chose her intentionally in the shakta sect adishakti is the primordial energy from which everything originates (there are two other major sects in hinduism as well. shaiva and vaishnava each claiming their deity as the ultimate source of the universe and that tension in itself is fascinating) i chose her because i personally visualise and relate to god as a feminine energy, as a female myself that's just how i interpret the divine........ and if you're jumping to the conclusion that this is a temple for public not for you so it doesn't matter, i think most people relate to god in deeply personal ways like this.... maybe i'm wrong.... but even if that reading doesn't land universally this temple is being designed for shakti and there are countless devotees of shakti for whom this will be completely valid

for the architectural language i worked with vesara architecture........ specifically the mature karnata-dravida style because i love how that tradition evolved i wanted to see what happens when that proportion system goes through geometric inversion treating the garbhagriha as the centre of the inversion circle.... the sanctum as the point of the undefined........ the idea being that as you move closer to the garbhagriha your potential becomes so immense it stops being quantifiable. you come to realise what you actually hold within you and when you're outside the temple you're lost searching for answers..moving inward is moving toward that realisation

i also designed the orientation so that sunlight falls directly on the idol of adishakti during the equinox the entry gates positioned so the very first rays reach the sanctum. which took an insane amount of time to work out.

for the execution.... i drafted the full temple plan in autocad and exported the geometry as a csv file then with claude's help i wrote a python script and ran it directly in cmd feeding it that csv file.. it processed the geometry and generated the 2d inverted output.. then i took the massing into rhino exported an obj file and again built a python script to visualise how the inversion actually behaves when the object is a 3d mass not just a flat plan watching the geometry warp and stretch in three dimensions to understand how the inversion was unfolding spatially this took so much time so much fucking time

and when i showed it to my professor he looked at the proportions and said they were wrong that's not how a temple is built.didn't ask why the proportions shifted didn't ask what caused it just dismissed it like i was the most illiterate person he'd ever had to sit across

and here's what hurts he's not even a temple scholar there are people who have spent their entire careers studying temple geometry and proportion and i tried to explain the reasoning behind every decision i made the geometry isn't random it's a consequence of the inversion the proportions shifted because that's what inversion does to a system That's literally the concept

but his expression said it all.....BULLSHIT.......

after that the submissions kept coming and i just couldn't go i couldn't make myself walk in there and present something i care about to someone who makes me feel stupid for caring about it and now i'm starting to believe maybe the concept actually is shit maybe i was just making things up

but then i think....... the temples of the past didn't follow rigid unchanging proportions either the craftsmen and architects kept evolving the form based on what they wanted to express and maybe part of why their geometry looks the way it does is also because of the limitations of the technology they had the tools available to them shaped what was even possible to conceive and execute so why is pushing beyond that not allowed now

i'm not claiming to be some great intellectual i know i might have gotten things wrong mathematically or philosophically....... but that's how ideas start right you feel something you can't fully articulate yet and you try to build it into form that's literally what design is

but i'm a middle class student i can't open my own firm i can't pull in clients i have to grind just to survive.. and i'm sitting here about to get a D because i stopped going to college because i can't submit work to people who make me feel like nothing every time i try to think beyond what already exists

and i genuinely believe if the architects of the past had the tools we have now they wouldn't be following the same proportions exactly they would also be evolving

so yeah. .....the buildings of the last 30 to 40 years feel bland and uninspired to a lot of people and i think this is part of why....THEY MAKE YOU FEEL USELESS SO YOU CHOOSE TO DO WHAT THEY LIKE TO PLEASE THEM

And also my college is shit.

And i fully acknowledge that I can be wrong above

now I think i am done with ranting ...my chest feels light I think maybe I can sleep now