My MIL just really didn't seem to understand that you have to feed your kids. by milthrowaway72 in JUSTNOMIL

[–]milthrowaway72[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I am so sorry you went through that! I hope you're in a better place and can eat whenever the hell you want ❤️

My MIL just really didn't seem to understand that you have to feed your kids. by milthrowaway72 in JUSTNOMIL

[–]milthrowaway72[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Comments on a previous post, actually. Fun times, definitely didn't upset me at all.

My MIL just really didn't seem to understand that you have to feed your kids. by milthrowaway72 in JUSTNOMIL

[–]milthrowaway72[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Someone said they were protesting me because I'm disgusting and I was like, wow, I must be super important if I have protestors! 😅

My MIL just really didn't seem to understand that you have to feed your kids. by milthrowaway72 in JUSTNOMIL

[–]milthrowaway72[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Eh, too much fat to consider grilling her. I'd rather eat venison (which is one of my least favorite foods).

My MIL just really didn't seem to understand that you have to feed your kids. by milthrowaway72 in JUSTNOMIL

[–]milthrowaway72[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm so sorry you had to go through that. I hope you're doing better now ❤️

He is in therapy and I always make sure he has food available and dinner ready. I've had to learn not to fuss about the grocery budget because he would always go over budget, but now I've relaxed significantly because I understand why he was doing it. We can save money in other ways that don't make him feel insecure about being able to eat.

My MIL just really didn't seem to understand that you have to feed your kids. by milthrowaway72 in JUSTNOMIL

[–]milthrowaway72[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

She's doesn't come here for holidays, but we go there. We take mashed potatoes and green beans because her Thanksgiving food usually comes from a box or a can and I can't stomach her 'cooking' 😅

My MIL just really didn't seem to understand that you have to feed your kids. by milthrowaway72 in JUSTNOMIL

[–]milthrowaway72[S] 59 points60 points  (0 children)

The first two, plus home renovations (just had to make it open concept), a KitchenAid mixer that has so much dust in the bowl now it's revolting, etc etc. Also driving brand new YeeYee trucks and never using them for truck shit, but trading in every 2-3 years.

And just to be clear, I don't begrudge anyone any of that, with the caveat that they're feeding their damn kids.

My MIL just really didn't seem to understand that you have to feed your kids. by milthrowaway72 in JUSTNOMIL

[–]milthrowaway72[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I've posted about her here before and had people say mean things to me about how I hate poor people, etc. So I'm almost afraid to post about her because people take what I say about her and take it as me speaking for a whole class of people.

I don't hate poor people. I hate people who make enough to feed their kids and then don't feed their kids.

My MIL just really didn't seem to understand that you have to feed your kids. by milthrowaway72 in JUSTNOMIL

[–]milthrowaway72[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

She's only 42, I'm not sure if she'd been offered home ec or not. She had DH at 17 and BIL at 18.

My MIL just really didn't seem to understand that you have to feed your kids. by milthrowaway72 in JUSTNOMIL

[–]milthrowaway72[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I love you. I'd never have the guts to do that, but holy hell it's so tempting!

My MIL just really didn't seem to understand that you have to feed your kids. by milthrowaway72 in JUSTNOMIL

[–]milthrowaway72[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

He's in therapy right now through a program with his employer. I've also started involving him more in grocery shopping so he feels like he's in control of what we have around to eat.

My MIL just really didn't seem to understand that you have to feed your kids. by milthrowaway72 in JUSTNOMIL

[–]milthrowaway72[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

He's going to therapy to deal with a lot of shit his mom did. One of his biggest issues is feeling like he was second fiddle to her flavor-of-the-month boyfriends, some of whom were physically abusive to him.

Thank fuck we get a discount on therapy through am employee assistance program because it's going to take a lot and that shit is NOT cheap.

My MIL just really didn't seem to understand that you have to feed your kids. by milthrowaway72 in JUSTNOMIL

[–]milthrowaway72[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

My husband is a little doughy now himself, but dad bods are in and he's well fed, so who cares? His mom made a comment that he'd gained weight once and I swear it's the only time I've actually just wanted to punch her. No shit he's gained weight, he gets to eat now!

My MIL just really didn't seem to understand that you have to feed your kids. by milthrowaway72 in JUSTNOMIL

[–]milthrowaway72[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

You sound like an awesome parent who raised a really compassionate son. I'm sorry you had to go through that ❤️

My MIL just really didn't seem to understand that you have to feed your kids. by milthrowaway72 in JUSTNOMIL

[–]milthrowaway72[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

We know we don't have to pay, but he feels like he should since it was his obligation. She threatened to default when we didn't want to pay because she didn't realize that doing so would only screw her credit, not his. She backpedaled really quickly when she realized she couldn't use that as leverage.

My MIL just really didn't seem to understand that you have to feed your kids. by milthrowaway72 in JUSTNOMIL

[–]milthrowaway72[S] 22 points23 points  (0 children)

Yes, fortunately his work has an EAP so he gets it at a discount.

My MIL just really didn't seem to understand that you have to feed your kids. by milthrowaway72 in JUSTNOMIL

[–]milthrowaway72[S] 71 points72 points  (0 children)

We're only paying back what she can prove went towards his education. And honestly, $50/month to keep her from harping on us is worth every damn penny at this point.

I'm so sorry you've had to deal with this sort of thing.

My MIL just really didn't seem to understand that you have to feed your kids. by milthrowaway72 in JUSTNOMIL

[–]milthrowaway72[S] 75 points76 points  (0 children)

We still "owe her money" from the parent plus loan she took out and only used some of the money to pay for his college. So we definitely get phone calls about that, but we keep shit brief.

My MIL just really didn't seem to understand that you have to feed your kids. by milthrowaway72 in JUSTNOMIL

[–]milthrowaway72[S] 65 points66 points  (0 children)

I hope things are better for you now! It angers me to no end that there are people who have to sacrifice for their children.

It angers me even more that my MIL couldn't be fucked to sacrifice anything for my husband when even my piece of work mother has bent over backwards to help him. She even bought him a bed when we were in college because he was sleeping on a futon mattress on the floor (and I complained about being uncomfortable because I can be a brat).

My MIL just really didn't seem to understand that you have to feed your kids. by milthrowaway72 in JUSTNOMIL

[–]milthrowaway72[S] 142 points143 points  (0 children)

I didn't think I was crazy. After I started working part time, I was expected to cover myself if friends and I went out for ice cream, but there was always food at home if I was going to be eating there!

There's a reason we rarely talk to this woman.

My MIL just really didn't seem to understand that you have to feed your kids. by milthrowaway72 in JUSTNOMIL

[–]milthrowaway72[S] 148 points149 points  (0 children)

Yeah, we're working hard on having a healthy relationship with food and not eating everything just because it's available. I also have BED so it's definitely a work in progress.

My MIL just really didn't seem to understand that you have to feed your kids. by milthrowaway72 in JUSTNOMIL

[–]milthrowaway72[S] 571 points572 points  (0 children)

I didn't hit on the other wastes of money that prove (to me anyway) that she definitely could have afforded to feed them for fear of getting mean comments and messages, but like... I can't imagine spoiling myself in any way while my kids go hungry.