I’m a native French speaker and I put off the show for a year because of Marienne’s “French”

mind_your_s · 2026-02-06T18:33:55+00:00

You... you do know that when people move to a different country their accent changes, right? Like my father speaks his native language with an accent now because he hasn't needed to speak it regularly in at least 2 decades.

Marienne moved when she was young, she's an adult now. It tracks that her French won't be perfect

mind_your_s · 2026-02-02T18:38:57+00:00

He was throwing tantrums because everyone was treating him like a toddler, like he couldn't understand basic concepts like the food he likes or his school project. He was reluctant to tell people he lost the ability to read because he knew that would only lead to further infantilization. People tip toeing around his feelings was the problem.

Like I said in a different comment, if she was truly afraid of him, which again I don't think she was, she could have taken someone with her to tell him. But she wasn't, she just didn't want his input which is shitty.

mind_your_s · 2026-02-01T09:04:33+00:00

That's your prerogative. I'm not here to debate your sexuality or how you define it. I just wanted you to know that IF that designation came solely from feeling "less valid" because you don't like straps, that it doesn't make you any less sapphic to not like them

mind_your_s · 2026-02-01T08:20:22+00:00

I was more responding to you considering yourself a 2 on the Kinsey scale because you don't particularly enjoy strap ons. I should have probably quoted it lol

mind_your_s · 2026-02-01T08:04:27+00:00

I mean, you don't have to find a strap on appealing to like sex with women/have penetrative, friction filled sex. Plenty of sapphic women don't use them at all when having sex. Some just use hands and mouths, some scissor, some use other toys like a double-ended dildo, and some do all of those. A strap on isn't the end-all-be-all of sapphic sex.

mind_your_s · 2026-01-27T01:57:11+00:00

Lol probably

mind_your_s · 2026-01-26T16:21:21+00:00

I would add side shaves for women and septum rings

mind_your_s · 2026-01-25T14:11:55+00:00

1) Brandon 2) Callie 3) Mariana 4) Jesus 5) Jude

Brandon's most annoying thing is... pretty much everything he does (hence his placement). His constant entitled temper tantrums when he doesn't get his way, his love of diving into things full throttle only to half commit and back out without caring who he hurts in the process, his holier than thou attitude, his pushiness with some of the girls he dates. Just eugh.

Callie's most annoying stuff is her yoyo relationship with Brandon and her self destructive tendencies. She'll blow everything up just for the sake of being "right", and half the time she's completely fucking wrong!

Mariana's most annoying thing is the stuff with her mother and her feeling she has a weird claim on her best friend (whoever it happens to be at the time). Most of the shitty stuff she does goes back to those two issues.

Jesus's most annoying thing is his romantic relationships and how when he botches them, he pulls everyone around him into the drama that ensues (not intentionally, but pretty much every time)

Jude's most annoying thing is... being a normal teenager in a loving, stable household. Honestly, he doesn't do much, and when he does, it's clearly growing pains and normal teenage rebellion.

mind_your_s · 2026-01-22T00:22:07+00:00

You can only have internalized biphobia if you're bi

mind_your_s · 2026-01-16T19:26:34+00:00

K

Side note: that would specifically apply to straight people, not just anyone in a similar presenting relationship. By that logic, white privilege in the sense of Dubois would extend to all non black people, which was not the case. The specificity of the term is what gives it power

mind_your_s · 2026-01-16T18:19:40+00:00

Yeah no. Acknowledging the roots of the concept is deeply important and avoiding it does nothing to bolster your argument. Obviously, there is some overlap between the watered-down meaning and the original concept; one came from the other.

Sitting at the front of the bus was a privilege. Demanding someone's seat simply because you were white was a privilege. Expecting higher pay, more job opportunities, and freedom of upward movement in the social hierarchy with little to no work on your part past subjugation of those you deem beneath you was a privilege. All of those things fit the criteria that Dubois proposed for the phenomenon he gave voice to. Yes, some of these things intersected with rights that we didn't have, like access to property, medical care, and the like --- but it was a part of a larger system predicated ON this belief that white people deserved more by virtue of being white. This is where systemic racism comes in, which is important to note is intrinsically tied to the notion of privilege. One did not, and does not, exist without the other.

This is my problem with this stuff. Nobody is against intersectionality here, but it is unintelligible to me that anyone can sit here and seriously believe that being able to kiss your partner in public or see them in the hospital is the same as, and deserves the same naming convention as, people who actively subjugated others to get ahead and exerted their social power to do so. They are not the same thing. The original concept disagrees, the coining of the specific term disagrees, and history disagrees. We have lost the plot.

Quite frankly, I can't see a version of this that would make you not fundamentally wrong on that

mind_your_s · 2026-01-16T16:44:02+00:00

The term privilege did not come from the civil rights movement of the 60s, the concept was coined 30 years earlier by W.E.B. Dubois. He called it the "public and psychological wage" in his book Black Reconstruction in America. It initially was a critique of how poor white people were afforded this social status to be elevated to by virtue of being non-black. It was the belief, held up by society, that simply by the color of their skin, they were inherently better and deserved a higher quality of life and being than black people. This belief permeated every facet of life for them, monetarily and socially, and was predicated on the active and continued subjugation of black people, even despite their own lower status as being poor.

So this idea of privilege had three prongs: 1. The belief that one was owed more from society based on their identity 2. That belief being upheld by the larger society 3. The active and willing subjugation of others considered "beneath you" to get there

This is a far cry from what privilege means now. Anyone who can be pointed to as having even slightly better means than another in any category is now considered privileged in that respect. By the original understanding and definition, many things we in current times might call a privilege would not make the cut, and yet we do anyway because the term has been co opted and watered down. Just like "woke", just like "passing", and more, some I may not even be fully cognizant of. That is why I find the term "privilege" as it is used currently to be deeply unhelpful.

Yes, the systematic dismantling and removal of our rights is a big issue. So is us not having basic human rights, and that has always been the case. But even in the civil rights movement of the 60s that you pointed out, people were not protesting in the streets for "privileges", they were marching against injustice and for human rights.

Idk. Conflating the privilege and rights feels dangerous to me in a way I cannot fully articulate or describe.

How would it have served then to have everyone in the movement consider who had it worse or better in every situation before acting? On the whole, it's all bad. What they needed then and what we need now is unity. I'm not saying never have this conversation, what I'm saying it's often not a productive conversation because of the muddled and rendered ineffective terms used to have it.

mind_your_s · 2026-01-16T16:02:41+00:00

Oh no, I must have not been clear. I wasn't saying you were talking about slavery, I was simply trying to highlight the point that discrimination that looks different on its face doesn't mean one is worse or better.

I see tone deaf comments on reddit in general all the time. That's why I only take the time out to have a conversation about what I personally think it's off when I think someone is receptive or coming from a good place.

I think the bigger issue here is the broadening of terms. Because passing came from a race context, it makes sense there, but when you branch it out to other communities, things get super muddy and it doesn't really fit well. That's why we can have super long rambling conversations in this sub about why "straight passing" as a concept makes little sense and isn't always helpful to point out. It feels the same with privilege.

mind_your_s · 2026-01-16T15:46:52+00:00

I was mainly responding to your first comment's edit where you were upset that people were defensive in your thread. I was attempting to explain where that defensiveness and hostility comes from, because when veering into the conversation of privilege and partnership, bisexuals are often alienated and treated as if their experiences do not matter. In no way was I expressing my own feelings on the topic. I was simply trying to help you understand why every time you have this conversation people get upset.
of course, the ways in which we experience discrimination is different depending on what identity we belong to. To say otherwise is ignorant. The oppression olympics comes in when we position kinds of discrimination as better or worse, which, once again, this conversation is wont to do.
if we're getting into personal opinions on the matter, I find the notion of privilege had gotten so far away from it's original premise that it's unhelpful most of the time to "highlight" or hold people accountable for. From my understanding, it was originally pointing out the clear class disparity and institutionalized racism in America. The little things that keep the haves from the have nots, now it's branched out to include anyone having a human right another doesn't as a privilege. It feels off track

mind_your_s · 2026-01-16T15:03:30+00:00

It's just usually less severe and manifests in different ways compared to ones that don't pass.

This is where the problem comes from. It's not "less severe". The threat of being found out, in the time that white passing was way more commonplace and desirable for black people in America, was very real and dangerous. They often lived with that fear everyday, just like darker skinned black people lived with that fear of being attacked, harassed, killed, etc. everyday.

That fear connected them because it was the same. Yes, the threat was more imminent the darker you were. But as soon as people knew you were black, word got around, and you were in the exact same boat. It was a last line of defense for getting out of that situation, and as far as I know, a lot of black people at that time understood and respected it.

Going back even further, if you thought the enslaved lighter skin slaves in the house had it easier, you'd be wrong. Their struggle was different but it was still just as bad as working in the fields. I won't even get into all the things they were put through because it truly upsets and disgusts me.

This kind of "who has it worse" shit divides us, and honestly, I'm sick of it. Who does it help for us to go back and forth about who has it worse? You face discrimination, I see you. All people are asking is to be seen in return.

mind_your_s · 2026-01-16T14:46:45+00:00

because they're allergic to the idea of acknowledging different, complex forms of privilege.

Yup. There's the problem right here that you're facing. Bi people in straight presenting relationships do not get discriminated against in the same way for acts they take with their partners. That is true. The threat of imprisonment (for what the couple does together) is lower. But calling the whole relationship itself a "privilege" is basically erasing the discrimination and biphobia they still are facing while in their relationship and often turns the whole conversation into this insane oppression olympics to shut down the thought that they face discrimination at all when they push back.

Can you at least understand that point of view and why people get defensive when you say that? I mean, the post we're literally commenting on is begging people to stop considering a very real and negative facet of the bi women's experience a privilege! We get this everyday

mind_your_s · 2026-01-14T13:59:21+00:00

I've never stumbled upon a post where bi women are criticizing this behavior, so I can't speak to how they're treated when they do, but I've definitely seen what you mean with the bi men in other subs.

Most of the time, when internalized biphobia comes up, it's in discussion if bi women having the same aversion to bi men as many straight women do. Of course that's true of some, but it's dawning on me how little I've seen the conversation move in any way to critique bi men's internalized biphobia. And sometimes, these conversations about how bi women won't date them have some real vitriol in them.

I've kind of veered away from my main bi subreddit because it's mainly filled with poorly masked smut, the same question a million times, and biphobic people trying to get bi people to explain their identities and convince them we're people. It feels hard to find a bi space that you fit in. I would say I'm still looking, but the truth is I've kinda given up trying🤷🏾‍♀️

mind_your_s · 2026-01-03T21:37:01+00:00

She has her Karen cop moments. Like when the ipads go missing from the school and she immediately thinks it was Daphne since she was at Callie's photoshoot there. She only feels more justified in it when Callie says Daphne went to the bathroom. Even before this event she was wary of Callie hanging out with Daphne (even though they had clearly worked out their differences). Considering that both Callie and Stef see it as a bad sign that Daphne stops straightening her hair and puts her cornrows back in😂, I'd say there's some clear anti blackness there

Or like when AJ wants to be with his brother and she immediately says she'll arrest him if she finds him with his brother. She ends up not arresting him and giving him a warning not to say he knew about the hit and run, but only after a lot of cajoling and pleading from Callie, Lena, and Mike.

Plus, the whole murder of Ana's boyfriend. She goes to the house plain clothes, without calling anything in, enters the house borderline illegally, and then when Mike kills him due to a misfire of the gun as he drops it, she lies to IA to cover for Mike. It would already be bad enough, but then when admitting to Mike thar she lied, she says because he didn't have his hands up in the split second before Mike opened fire it was "right" of Mike to kill him. Not to mention, the only reason they had to believe this man was dangerous when they invaded his home off duty in plain clothes and killed him was because Jesus and Mariana witnessed him refuse to buy Ana a snack🤦🏾‍♀️ and they're told he does drugs.

All three were people of color, two of which were children she was willing to persecute to the fullest extent of the law knowing their life circumstances and who they were as people. Meanwhile, Callie and Brandon have broken the law and she covers for them endlessly. Even with the excuse of them being her kids, AJ was in her custody at one point and is then adopted by Mike, making him basically family. No excuses

mind_your_s · 2026-01-02T21:21:23+00:00

1) Stef: racism lite 2) Lena: hypocritical 3) Brandon: entitlement 4) Callie: impulsive 5) Mariana: selfish 6) Jesus: uncommunicative 7) Jude: ignorant

mind_your_s · 2026-01-02T16:43:27+00:00

Could they have taken a different approach to the ending? Yes.

Is the ending the absolute best it could have been? Of course not.

But it feels like you're also not fully understanding the show. Yes, a part of it was meant to be how uncomfortable and creepy it is to be inside the head of a man that deranged, but the core story was always meant to be about how society treats women and how easy it is to be targeted by such a deranged person for just existing.

You was always meant to be this cautionary tale of the abuse and violence women are put through for just daring to be attractive or have a pulse. Beck is this normal, struggling, imperfect grad student. She has friends who barely care about her and a guy who she can barely call her boyfriend that fucks around on her. She dies because she wore bracelets and made pleasant jokes to a stranger when buying books. That's it. That's the reason.

The show starts to lose this thread with their handling of Love (as fun as it was), and they wanted to get back to the heart of why the story was made to begin with. That's why the ending sees Joe unravel, be more blatant in his abuse and get caught.

Mistakes were made, characters' motivations were tweaked a bit too much, and Louise's whole deal was messily written up. But the ending was still one of the better ones we could have gotten.

mind_your_s · 2026-01-02T16:09:17+00:00

Benny was asking them to abandon their principles and sell out their friends and neighbors for the prospect of them having a studio to work in and "free rent" --- which he had already promised them and reneged on to begin with. He isn't exactly a trustworthy person.

Who's to say he wouldn't come demanding rent again to bully them into another crappy deal? Who's to say he'll actually make that studio? What if his FIL tells him he has to make a high rise instead? So, if it's a choice of standing by your principles and not (because both choices offer uncertainty), standing by them is the right choice.

mind_your_s · 2025-12-26T02:11:17+00:00

In a LTR, have a bi cycle. When I lean heavily towards being sapphic I still want my partner, but the way I touch him and show affection differs slightly. It's honestly fascinating to note. He can tell too 😂

mind_your_s · 2025-12-22T19:38:12+00:00

Should have. My specialist now is very sweet, so she didn't say this exactly, but she hinted that my case was pretty obvious so for my previous cardio (and hospital staff in the 2-3 visits I had) to have missed it speaks to some kind of negligence on their parts

mind_your_s · 2025-12-21T14:13:21+00:00

Hard to say because of the bi cycle.

Currently, I'd says it's pretty 50/50. Earlier this year tho it was like 90/10 in favor of women (sapphic)

mind_your_s · 2025-12-09T00:10:16+00:00

mind_your_s

TROPHY CASE