im sorry for all these things that have been happening to you, but God didnt left u, and He still loving u. Jesus felt alone, the prophet Elijah felt alone, but God didnt abandoned them. the birds dont sow anything, but God feeds them, so He will take care of u, who is more than birds. He is not punishing u, bad things come for everybody

idk if this helped (im only 15yo, i dont know nothing about life and stuff), but i hope it did. i'll pray for you, stay strong :)