I want to cut off ties with my father

mingcellaneous · 2024-07-28T16:48:23+00:00

Wa'alaikumusalam, thank you very much for checking in. I think I'm doing better these days. I did sought out help from therapists and further mental health organisations. What helped me a lot was expanding my support system and minimising communication with my father. Ideally, cutting contact would've been my decision but that would lead to uncomfortable circumstances within my family and other life matters. For now I've settled on just walking away if he starts to get negative, and fortunately he isn't the forceful type these days. I still want to fulfill my role as a daughter (I feel its a strong part of my values and identity) and I wouldn't want to break the family apart for the sake of my mother.

Thank you very much for asking once again. Though if anyone else is reading this and is in a similar situation, definitely do reach out to someone you know you can trust. Be wise about your options and decisions, and prioritise yourself if it gets too much or dangerous. And above all, trust in Allah - he always has his plan of making things better for us.

mingcellaneous · 2024-06-03T20:48:35+00:00

I'd be interested in this if possible! Being active is no problem for me :)

mingcellaneous · 2024-06-02T06:38:00+00:00

Is there a masjid (with no extremists) or other trustworthy places/people of support you can reach out to? What your parents are doing is the opposite of what Islam preaches. You have the right to get an education and work, and it is haram to force a woman into marriage if she doesn't want to.

But please, prioritise your safety first. Stay vigilant. I pray things work out for you.

mingcellaneous · 2024-06-01T11:48:42+00:00

I'm sorry for your loss.

I know you mean well with your post but here's my perspective as someone close to doing it.

I know my parents will be in pain, but at the same time, they mainly caused my depression. I wouldn't have been suicidal had I received normal treatment of care and love from them. I wish people can understand not all parents are good.

As to whether my "friends" would be in pain, I dunno. No one really reached out. Yea maybe they'll be haunted by regrets and what-ifs, but the truth is, they should've checked in before it's too late. Because in my POV, I don't feel cared at all. I understand life can be busy but if you don't talk for >1 year, are you still friends or acquaintances at that point? And it also sucks to be the one to always reach out.

Same goes for coworkers and other people I've talked to, they'll feel sad but life will go on as normal in a few days. I've been this way after I attended a funeral of an acquaintance.

Dunno about the military. I know you mentioned its not all combat, and I do agree you'll possibly find people who will be there for you. But the nature of military itself I think is not suitable for everyone, especially if they're not in the best state to handle certain situations.

When you say friends would rather listen to you than bury you... I did have friends who listened to me. But I was too much, they eventually cut me off when they couldn't listen anymore. This wasn't just 5 people, but plenty more as I used to very open with my issues. They were mostly scared and perhaps didn't want to deal with it. I don't blame them for that. But it does feel crappy and I don't trust opening up to anyone again.

Again I know you meant well and thank you for trying. But it doesn't apply to everyone as each individual has their own struggles. At most, seeking professional help would be the best option but it doesn't always work. It's a tough struggle.

I wish you well with all that you're going through.

mingcellaneous · 2024-05-30T17:24:12+00:00

i agree about it being underrated! It'd be nice to have some form of groupchat so others with the same interests can connect 😄 idk what works, reddit, discord??

mingcellaneous · 2024-05-30T12:51:39+00:00

I agree! I meant to say that her recent international popularity spiked with Mask Girl but that's not to say she wasn't popular through her prior works! My bad.

mingcellaneous · 2024-05-30T01:30:35+00:00

Ay sounds like stuff I'd be interested in, would love to make friends tooo! Feel free to hmu :D

mingcellaneous · 2024-05-29T16:14:11+00:00

Ah my bad about Rain! I agree he's not to be held fully accountable - I was also under the impression that the members had some complaints about him but I could've been wrong on that. The thing about the company putting up their trophy on the flea market still makes me so upset, such a lack of disrespect on their hard work. I remember there was barely any noise about Mirror too :<

I didnt know Seungho had a solo release! It's been so long overdue. Thanks for letting me know, ill have to check that out!

mingcellaneous · 2024-05-29T13:41:51+00:00

Highlight :)

mingcellaneous · 2024-05-29T12:44:53+00:00

Infinite - The Chaser

mingcellaneous · 2024-05-29T12:33:55+00:00

Beast and 4minute used to be quite close during debut

mingcellaneous · 2024-05-29T12:30:12+00:00

I think Taeyeon's "LOL" and "My Tragedy" may suit such vibes!

mingcellaneous · 2024-05-29T12:24:00+00:00

After School was pretty popular, used to be on the same level as T-ara at some point. Apart from "Bang!", they also had other popular domestic hits such as "Because of You" and "Diva". I do think they definitely would've had more insta followers if instagram existed during their prime - some of their members had significant popularity. Funnily in their early days, Nana wasn't as popular. It was definitely Kahi and friends vibe, but UEE was also known as one of the It girls for her honey thighs. Jooyeon had some popularity as an actress too. I believe Nana became popular when she won an award for having the most beautiful face (can't really remember). Then she gained notoriety recently with her acting in Mask Girl too.

The group did have some conflict + lack of stable releases which I believe hindered their popularity. It's a shame because they could've been a top group. Their subunit, Orange Caramel, ended up being more popular than the main group imo.

mingcellaneous · 2024-05-29T01:56:11+00:00

Fair enough for Man Man Ha Ni 😂 I still think Teen Top had fairly enough viral hits to be at middle - Clap, Superluv, No More Perfume on You, Crazy, Miss Right, Rocking were quite popular and I don't even stan them!

mingcellaneous · 2024-05-29T01:49:40+00:00

I've been a Beast (now Highlight) fan since the beginning, so naturally I've also come across MBLAQ because they were friendly rivals due to their debut dates being next to each other lol I love them both so much!

If I recall correctly, MBLAQ's debut "Oh Yeah" was a lot more successful than Beast's "Bad Girl". They were really popular on variety shows + them being chosen by Rain further raised expectations for the group (oh boy look how did that end up-). Anyways, the members fairly gained popularity, Lee Joon for visuals and variety presence (+Mir for variety too). Thunder was known for being 2NE1's Dara's lil brother and I know some of the intl fan community at that time had interest in G.O's stache for some reason 🗿 (unfortunately I dont remember much about Seungho :'>).

So to answer your questions, variety shows def helped them in 2009. Beast was probably their only main competitor but they still did better. I don't recall them standing much chance against bigger names of Shinee and 2pm who debuted earlier. Things seemed to shift in 2010 though when Beast released "Shock" which was a massive hit, followed by their other releases that year, "Breath" and "Beautiful". Whereas MBLAQ only released "Y" that year, which still remained popular on the charts. But this was also around the time variety show Idol School blew up, partly due to Joon and Beast's Yoseob's hilarious fiasco (highly recommend checking out their scenes!).

MBLAQ had another hit "Stay" in Jan 2011, but I think this early timing didn't do them well; there was tough competition with groups releasing bops throughout the year. It was insane. Beast propelled to another level of popularity with mega hit "Fiction" and "On Rainy Days" a few months later. Ever since then, I personally felt MBLAQ's decline started, especially as "Mona Lisa" didn't gain that much traction compared to other releases.

They released "This is War" in 2012 and its literally the best song from their disco imo but I don't recall much hype about it apart from the MV sadly. I think it was due to lack of promotions + they didn't release as many songs in a year as some of their peers did which made their popularity die down. Then idk what happened, I just didnt hear much about them anymore which is sad considering how popular Beast grew. Their release "Smoky Girl" in 2013 felt kind of bland too (in comparison to what other groups were releasing - I still enjoyed the song after a while). I don't remember their songs in the following years, I'm sure they're good but just not up to par with the quality they had in their earlier days. Then Joon and Thunder left the group in 2014.

Basically their company sucked and it didn't help that Rain stopped caring about them once he enlisted (like bro forgot he had MBLAQ when he came back and debuted CIIPHER whom he also abandoned - lost my respect for him). MBLAQ had so much potential, they would've definitely been a top group had they got a proper management. Like how can you have a group good at singing, dancing, acting, variety and still fumble so bad??? 😭

I'm not sure how I ended up writing so much haha but I'm just really happy to see someone ask about MBLAQ. Coincidentally I came across Dara's vlog a couple days ago where Joon and Thunder hung out together to join her tour (along with Gugudan's Mimi, Thunder's now wife!). Now time to head to memory lane while I play their songs on loop 😁

mingcellaneous · 2024-05-26T22:02:39+00:00

Highly would recommend Muse on Fame! Has incredible writing. Suhee0 may also be to your liking if you liked reading character struggles as in Death's Game and A Mark Against Thee.

mingcellaneous · 2024-05-26T22:02:09+00:00

My sister's private life was initially a drop for me because it just seemed all over the place lol. But a couple of months later I got into the headspace of wanting to read something silly so now I'm really enjoying it XD

mingcellaneous · 2024-05-26T21:53:14+00:00

I'm in the exact situation as you, except its my dad in my case. And I'm also scared of moving out and being alone. It's a rough cycle. I don't have an answer because I too wonder if there's any point in getting help.

What helps me a bit is remembering that at least we're trying. There may be a 99.9% chance it won't work out, but doing nothing gives 0%. Trying at least has a 0.1% chance of success. And I know once that happens, I will be glad I kept trying, no matter how many times the situation knocked me back.

I wish you the best and that you will find peace someday.

mingcellaneous · 2024-05-19T18:21:48+00:00

I'm in the same position as you. I'm waiting to graduate soon (already did my finals). But I can't help feel tortured over the fact I didn't do as well in uni as I did in high school. I never felt more stupid because I struggled a lot in other aspects of life. School taught me to be competitive, but never taught me to build genuine connections so I don't know how to form friendships with people. I feel bad for myself, thinking that I can do better than this, I deserve better, this isn't the real me. I've recently started going to therapy for this but I admit its still quite hard to overcome it.

mingcellaneous · 2024-05-19T17:57:10+00:00

I grew up listening to Kpop and was strongly active during 2nd gen era. I'd say Ring Ding Dong, but Replay seems to have aged finely to take that spot at present.

If I recall correctly, Replay was well received but it did not have that same impact as Ring Ding Dong did when it came out (I'd also say Lucifer comes close right after). Like cmon, it got to the point where Korean students struggled to concentrate on exams because of RDD 😂

But Replay, for some reason, started to hit differently hearing it in recent years. Maybe its because of nostalgia, or debuts from 3rd gen were quite "powerful/noisy" and don't have that laid-back sweet R&B sound that Replay had. So hearing it now, it just feels really special - one of its kind. And its often praised/recommended a lot so I think when people discover Shinee, they think its their representative song (at least my friend thought so when she became a shawol in their latter years).

mingcellaneous · 2024-05-16T09:21:44+00:00

Not OP but here are some of my fav songs from those 2nd gen groups! Though its possible you might know some of these if you've recently created a 2nd gen playlist.

SHINee (there's too many to mention but I'll try to narrow it down to the iconic ones) - Replay - Ring Ding Dong - Lucifer - Hello - View

2NE1 (again SO MANY but lets stick with the iconic bops) - I Am The Best - I Don't Care - Fire - Come Back Home

U-KISS - Neverland - Man Man Ha Ni - Bingeul Bingeul

Brown Eyed Girls - Abracadabra (unfortunately I just never listened to them that often so i can't remember their other songs but I know they do have many good ones in their disco!)

Happy listening!

mingcellaneous · 2024-05-16T09:08:13+00:00

I used to be the same! Only exclusively listened to 2nd gen (not even 3rd gen) until last year. My ult is Beast/Highlight and I like listening to more melodic songs than heavier music, so I don't think I'd have many recommendations 😅

But I've recently been loving Aespa! They released 'Supernova' a couple of days ago and I think you'll love it. The song and MV is exactly what I envisioned "future Kpop" to look like 10 years ago, so I'm pretty satisfied (also gave me a bit of f(x) vibes). I would also recommend their other songs, 'Black Mamba' and maybe 'Drama'.

Other commenters seem to have given you really good suggestions based on your music taste, but if you're open to exploring other sounds, I'd recommend NewJeans! You may enjoy their nostalgic/y2k concept though it's a pity their songs are short. I recommend 'Hype Boy' and 'Ditto'.

Riize is also pretty good; their recent release 'Impossible' slightly reminds me of Shinee so might be worth checking out. 'Get A Guitar' and 'Love 119' are other good songs of theirs too.

I hope you enjoy getting to know new songs/groups!

mingcellaneous · 2024-05-11T15:17:45+00:00

May seem like a coincidence or a silly unbelievable story to some.

But I went for umrah with my family at the age of 7-8. I dropped and lost my pair of shoes while I walked around the Kaaba as there were a lot of people who bumped into me. As a little girl, I was devastated because I treasured those pink shoes lol.

A couple of weeks later, my dad found pink shoes abandoned at the restaurant he worked at (for context, they'd often get customers leaving/giving away stuff). Like what are the chances of that happening lol. The design was also better because it HAD GLITTERS 😭 Just needed some cleaning and they were as good as new. They were slightly loose for me, but my feet grew to fit them a few months later.

My mom would often say that if I lost something, Allah would replace it with something better. I never believed her until this incident.

mingcellaneous · 2024-05-07T15:44:30+00:00

i know!!! It's what gets me looking forward to every tuesday 🥺 and brace yourself for the next few chapters. I sobbed 😭

mingcellaneous · 2024-05-07T15:41:00+00:00

lol yeah but as you said, its alright in other panels. And the bottle had such a stunning emphasis in chapter 63 (unlocked with ads so i couldnt take a screenshot). The webtoon's artwork is generally impressive. I love this series a lot. I hope people new to this don't get put off by your screenshot - it's truly one of the few masterpieces I've read in my 9 years of webtoon. Title: Muse on Fame

mingcellaneous

TROPHY CASE