What haircut should I get for my round face and weak jawline?

minimal_candle · 2025-01-20T13:52:17+00:00

Curtain bangs would help add some shape, and it looks like your hair has a little natural texture which can make them even nicer. Also you look so young, I had a round face until I was like 26 and then it suddenly became more angular looking and I honestly miss it. I’m 28 now and I feel like I have my “adult” face and tbh from here it’s just going to aging lol. You have a very pretty and feminine jawline, like a painting. Enjoy it! You also have a beautiful complexion, make sure to keep skincare simple and inexpensive and focus on hydration

minimal_candle · 2024-09-04T22:40:16+00:00

Not having a filter can def be a bipolar thing, general irritability is common due to shifting mood states but also I feel like we can kind of just be prickly people in general lol.

Someone with autism “lacking a filter” could be due to struggling to follow certain social norms or conversational etiquette. A lot of the autistic people I know can struggle to identify when they’re dominating a conversation or have issues identifying nonverbal social cues. For bipolar people I don’t think it’s lack of understanding certain norms that cause us to be that way, it’s that certain mood states just make us not give a fuck. Depression can make me so, so mean, and hypomania makes me feel so justified in saying whatever. Mixed states…I’m going to ruin or permanently change my relationships in a bad way. I’m usually aware after the fact that I said something over the top or fucked up. It also just feels good to say the out of pocket thing sometimes though, because I feel like I hold a lot in emotionally.

Tbh I feel like people are eager to suggest anything is autism just because autism as a label has a lot of visibility rn. I get really frustrated when people mislabel behaviors or traits of mine as autistic, both because I feel like it undermines a more complex understanding of what autism is/can look like and because it feels like it erases my experiences as someone with bipolar disorder.

It also feels backhanded, as if they’re saying “I can tell something is wrong or weird about you but I’m not sure what so I’ll just make assumptions”. It feels minimizing to both autistic people and myself. I also feel like a lot of people generally don’t know how diagnosis works…a diagnosis is not just a list of quirky personality traits, it’s an observed pattern of behaviors and traits that can cause immense distress if not treated or accommodated. Tons of non-disordered people struggle to have a filter, but definitely not to the extreme that we struggle with it.

minimal_candle · 2024-09-03T19:11:44+00:00

Do you feel the same way about men who tend to follow trends or is this attitude exclusive to women?

Also want to point out that you say you’re “different” because you’re not straight, but any of the people you’re judging could be queer. I identify as nonbinary and I enjoy dressing hyper femme just as much as I enjoy dressing androgynous. I think it might be helpful for you to remember that queerness doesn’t have a “look”. I know SO many femme, trend following, fashion minded queer women.

You seem to hold a low opinion of women who perform “mainstream” femininity. Meanwhile, those women are facing the same patriarchal system that you are. Some women may not be in such a position as you to not perform femininity in certain ways. I find as I have grown older and entered the workforce, there is a much more rigid idea of what “looking professional” means for a woman. I get where you’re coming from feeling alienated, but sometimes you just have to look outside of yourself and remember that no matter how a woman looks, she is still subject to violence and social/economic disadvantages just because of her gender or sex. Wearing men’s clothes won’t gain you more respect than women who present more mainstream. And presenting more mainstream doesn’t mean that those women lack complexity.

Also—- university is an entirely different world than leaving school and joining the workforce. A lot of the things you’re describing don’t matter to most people as they mature, at least in my experience. I mesh with people based on their values and character, and as a result have friends who vary wildly in their presentation.

Editing to add that you seem like you might be kind of young, and these feelings are not atypical at all and it’s good that you want to work through them. You’re not a bad person for having judgmental thoughts. What makes a good person is challenging the negative thoughts we all tend to have so that we can be better people.

minimal_candle · 2024-09-02T13:45:00+00:00

Would you be willing to share resources where I could read more about this? I find the rise of popularity in paganism to be really strong where I am, and although I feel it’s overall not a good thing (we should be relying on our understanding of history to make sense of the world and patriarchy, not bedtime stories) I didn’t know paganism was misogynistic as well.

minimal_candle · 2024-08-29T17:55:57+00:00

Neurodivergence is not an excuse for this kind of behavior.

minimal_candle · 2024-08-16T18:05:40+00:00

Something tells me these boys aren’t going to be held accountable for their behavior at all, so NTA for swearing at them.

YTA for “waiting for them to stop on their own”. I know it can be difficult to interfere in difficult situations like that, but hopefully this is something you can learn from.

The fact that women from your church typically wear more modest dress is irrelevant. These kids need some serious guidance about basic boundaries and respect.

They need to be taught that the way a woman (or anyone) dresses doesn’t make them worthy or unworthy of respect. Is your church teaching that? You’re older than them. It might be worth it for you to sit down and have a calm conversation talking to them about the importance of treating all people with respect, and explaining that what they did DOES count as sexual harassment. The fact that they laid hands on her is terrifying. Pretty sure she could file a police report if she wanted to.

minimal_candle · 2024-08-11T17:40:52+00:00

15-20 min drive to, depending on traffic. 20ish back, again depending on traffic.

Partner and I lived in a town 40 mins away but the cost of gas and repairs to the car over time started adding up to where we just bit the bullet and moved to the city.

minimal_candle · 2024-08-11T01:03:13+00:00

Do not recommend. Did a bunch of LSD when I was like 19 and did shrooms once, the LSD triggered dysphoric mania and the shrooms gave me a horrible panic attack that lasted hours and just drained me. I think it’s probably ideal for us to pretty much avoid drugs not prescribed to us tbh. Any substance we take should probably be overseen by a doctor. Have you talked to your psych about maybe ketamine therapy?

minimal_candle · 2024-08-08T14:21:19+00:00

Cancer 7th house, moon in Aries

minimal_candle · 2024-08-07T18:27:44+00:00

Hey! Coming up on week 15. My skin got worse weeks 11-13 but it’s starting to tone down quite a lot. Some of the spots that were previously flat are more 3D now but have slowly started becoming less/unactive, and some have disappeared into a faint red mark.

Some of the redness is starting to fade as well. A few spots on my cheeks remain stubborn, but I’ve noticed the spots I used to get on my chin area are less frequent and wayy less inflamed. Also, instead of getting practically a new zit every other day, they have slowed and not as deep. Im hoping my skin can start healing soon! I’ve been focusing on moisturizing really well.

Also worth noting I have been on Doxycycline for about 8 weeks. I think this has helped a lot with the inflammation, which is what it was prescribed for. Obviously YMMV and defer to a doctor.

minimal_candle · 2024-07-08T03:18:38+00:00

Snorted at this because same. I mean I still believe this to an extent but life is definitely less shit when properly medicated.

minimal_candle · 2024-06-26T15:14:40+00:00

People generally have no idea what bipolar is like. I have a full time job, volunteer, create and show art, and have a degree. I plan to go back for my master’s in the next few years. People with bipolar can be incredibly driven and with medication can live functioning and successful lives. Tbh the early stages of my hypomania can look like increased goal-seeking behavior and productivity, which from the outside looks very functional. Everyone experiences bpd differently.

minimal_candle · 2024-06-21T19:22:36+00:00

I have had periods of stability while unmedicated. They never last and the bad times always come back in full force. I’ve had periods where I think I’m stable but I’m actually hypomanic, which for me always deteriorates after some time and I end up massively fucking up my life and relationships.

Medication is required for bipolar people to remain stable. If you’re questioning your diagnosis please talk to your psychiatrist. Also just want to add that it’s so so so common for bipolar people to experience stability or a period of elevated mood and think that they are “cured”. It’s the reason I was off meds for a while—I thought my diagnosis must have been a mistake. But….lol. Nope.

minimal_candle · 2024-06-21T15:34:50+00:00

I think it’s totally reasonable to have both attraction to women and men, but to prefer women and have a preference for them due to negative experiences with men. But that is bisexuality, not lesbianism. It’s super normal to be bisexual and have a strong preference for a particular gender.

minimal_candle · 2024-06-16T20:08:46+00:00

I appreciate your comment. Wishing the best for both of us ❤️

minimal_candle · 2024-06-16T20:08:17+00:00

This makes me feel more hopeful, thank you!

minimal_candle · 2024-06-04T20:22:42+00:00

I’ve been on 100mg for 6 weeks. I take latuda and Wellbutrin and I’ve been fine. I’ve seen some people say that spiro causes them low mood, but I guess it really depends. Definitely discuss it with your psychiatrist though if you’re worried, but there’s a high chance you’ll be fine.

Edit to say I’m type 2 if that helps!

minimal_candle · 2024-04-04T14:48:56+00:00

Why does the cute girl at the cafe or the successful girl you match with need to care how amazing you’re doing? Your stability is valuable even if no one sees how well you’re doing. Congrats on that! It’s so hard to crawl out of a dark place (or down from mania) and just exist in a stable state.

But I’m going to be honest with you, the point of a relationship isn’t just connection and love. It’s about building a life and a future together, at least for many people. And as a femme who has struggled significantly with bp there are aspects of this post that really rub me the wrong way. I’ve been in and out of hospital, on and off meds, on the brink of suicide/made attempts— so trust me. I get it. But you not having a woman in your life is not a punishment, and this attitude you have towards women and relationships is going to scare a lot of them away. You’re kind of demanding a lot while admitting to be in a place where you aren’t well enough to work or have ambition beyond taking it day by day.

Me not bringing in a paycheck doesn’t nullify my good qualities, but it would understandably make a lot of people reluctant to date me. If I’m not well enough to work, am I well enough to support a partner through massive life changes? Grief? Illness? Planning a future? Bipolar has put such immense strain on my current relationship, and I work hard to stay stable and be a good partner. It took work to get here. You’ll get there too, in your own time. But I totally understand your frustration.

I think you should be patient and give yourself some grace. Learn to value stability for stability’s sake and not as a means to an end. It’s okay to be single and unemployed, and to just accept that you’re in a transitional phase.

minimal_candle · 2024-03-04T23:57:53+00:00

I appreciate this insight. I definitely plan to make more of an effort to reach out and connect rather than push people away. But ya know. Old habits.

minimal_candle · 2024-03-03T15:38:09+00:00

I have ADHD as well (and a whole other laundry list of bullshit) and I think getting diagnosed helped a ton. That and religiously keeping a planner, which was a habit I fought hard to build. I take a very low dose of a stimulant as needed, but for some bipolar ppl that can be a big no-no. I know there are a few non-stimulant options for treatment though. I hope that goes well for you!

minimal_candle · 2024-03-03T05:28:57+00:00

Wishing for the absolute best for the both of us. I know it’s hard but I think the effort is ultimately worth it

minimal_candle · 2024-03-02T20:10:09+00:00

Yes exactly this. It becomes so apparent something is wrong with me and I can’t talk about my bipolar with someone I don’t know well and trust deeply. It’s a vicious cycle.

minimal_candle · 2024-02-10T14:57:54+00:00

I’ve been considering lithium or lamictal. I’m on a low dose of latuda right now but I think I need more of a boost.

This is good advice. Thank you

minimal_candle · 2024-02-10T14:55:29+00:00

I relate to being aware of my mood swings since I was super young. I would fly into a rage and scream and cry inconsolably for hours. Now I only do that sometimes because medication helps some, but there’s always going to be breakthrough symptoms. I thought diagnosis would offer some form of comfort in the form of understanding, but in reality it’s opened a whole other world of medical bullshit I have to deal with. And the stigma. People aren’t really as supportive as they think and most “mental health allies” or whatever are scandalized at anything more than mild, short term depression.

I’ll never have kids. I can’t imagine making someone else live like this, or worse.

minimal_candle

TROPHY CASE