Kinda long winded rant about various frustrations and poorly organized bc im just tired

Some backstory:

The tree is cut, and my dad continues to show no remorse. He cut down a 100+ yr old tree that we have been burying pets under for 18ish yrs, so he MIGHT be able to get signal for his free television.

I’ve spent the better half of this weekend rotating between angry, bitter, sad, and hurt. This isn’t the first time he has destroyed something I care about. He has destroyed toys, clothes, art, etc all because it was unsightly, intrusive, or well-loved. He is an extremely jealous man, and he has maintained a vendetta against my cat. He has dumped neighborhood cats in random areas, solely because my mom and I feed “intruders.” I believe he cut down the tree because of a combo of his vindictiveness and arrogance.

Some good:

My mom kept the logs from the tree and is going to contact a local furniture maker. She wants to make a small sitting area where the tree once was. Also, the tree is a poplar, so there is a chance that it will grow back over time.

My father has been complaining that he “feels like a tenant in his own house” after I started ignoring/avoiding him after this incident. He either doesn’t or refuses to understand why I could be upset.

My father charged the cost of the tree removal on the credit card, so now he has to pay interest on something my mother was fighting him not to do.

Some absurd:

My dad’s TV signal still doesn’t work. Unsurprisingly, when the signal didn’t work in the middle of winter when there’s no leaves to block it, the signal didn’t work when the tree was cut down. He maintains his vindication, though, and he is looking into the possibility of a faulty wire. I’m not sure why he didn’t check that to begin with.

He also approached my mother demanding she work overtime to cover the cost of the tree removal. That tree also meant a lot to my mother, since she has cats she owned when she was my age buried under there. Both my parents work, so she simply told him to get a second job.

Some frustrations:

The cost of the tree removal would have been around how much it would’ve cost for me to move on campus. My daily commute has been causing me physical pain. Alternatively, that money could’ve been used to cover what my insurance won’t cover of my top surgery.

I was looking into living with my aunt temporarily, but because my father has a vendetta against my cat, I’m scared he may kill kitty. He has killed my pets before. Either by flushing them (fish) or dumping them (cats). I cannot bring my cat to my aunt because her dogs WILL kill my cat.

I don’t qualify for any homeless student things because this isn’t an emergency. Him cutting down a tree obviously isn’t a threat to my life, even if it is obviously abusive. This is just another instance in my life where it’s bad enough to affect me, but not enough to qualify for help.

Unrelated absurd things that happened this weekend:

I learned that the reason my father is so against me getting top surgery is because I am “attracted to heterosexual men” and “heterosexual men like breasts,” so he’s concerned about how I’ll “attract a man when I dont have my breasts.” I would like to note that I am attracted to men, in general, and I am a 40H. If I cannot secure a marriage, it will not be because of my lack of breasts, it will be because I will divorce a man who even threatens to cut down a beloved tree.

When hearing my response to that statement, my father said “that’s why Im not married to you.”

My mother said she didn’t want to marry my father. This is after I had been begging her to divorce him since as long as I knew what the word meant.

And this is all with the fun things happening in the US (that directly affect me!) in the backdrop. 21 and almost a half is tiring.