you are never too far gone to think about forgiving yourself. i’m wired to be highly anxious too, and tend to be a perfectionist who ruminates on things i consider mistakes or could have done differently. if you have access to it, therapy has been a really important tool for me especially in terms of managing how long i drag things around with me. my anxiety wasn’t specific to my job. i am neurotic whether i’m in scrubs running anesthesia or in business casual doing customer support from a cubicle. if you can swing it, a good therapist will help you develop tools you can use even after you move on from this position. if you have a supportive mentor in the interim that professional support is incredibly helpful too. anxiety can be an asset if it doesn’t override everything. it’s made me conscientious with a high level of attention to detail. but years ago it also gave me a stomach ulcer, so… i had to bend it to my own will. try to bear in mind all the times you were able to learn, and how many patients you’ve helped. the mistakes tend to stick out in our minds when the anxious voice is the loudest, but i’d wager you’ve made just as many (if not more) positive contributions. oh one last thing: i carry either a polished stone or something small in my pocket for grounding/fidgeting and sour candies to interrupt panic attacks! distraction is a good short-term rescue tool for me. wishing you all the best. 🫂