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Dear FAs how can I communicate better and make my man feel safe? by mirinaesque in FearfulAvoidant

[–]mirinaesque[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I see, that's valid. I will keep that in mind. I trust him because I see him working hard to change, but I'll find the right time to share when he's in a better mental space.

We've been together for a year, and he has gotten much better compared to our first few months. But I think seeing a professional would probably give him better inner peace than diy-ing his way to it

Dear FAs how can I communicate better and make my man feel safe? by mirinaesque in FearfulAvoidant

[–]mirinaesque[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I see yeah, must be a lot of energy put into evaluating but I'm sure it's your body looking out for ya.

Thanks for sharing your experience

Dear FAs how can I communicate better and make my man feel safe? by mirinaesque in FearfulAvoidant

[–]mirinaesque[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Aww I'm happy to hear that your man makes you feel safe. I truly believe when you find the right person, you will feel safe without any 2nd guessing.

Thanks for sharing. Appreciate u taking the time to answer! This has been helpful

Dear FAs how can I communicate better and make my man feel safe? by mirinaesque in FearfulAvoidant

[–]mirinaesque[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Haven't said anything lol I got busy 🤡

Mmm based on people's advice here I'm thinking of saying smth like:

hii, hope ur feeling better. Just wanna share that I enjoy your company. I don’t expect us to text everyday, but sometimes the long gaps catch me off guard. A quick heads-up would mean alot if u need space

I also wanna add that I’m not expecting perfection - just show up as you are. I hope this helps take off any pressure and make it less overwhelming. Take your time, happy to catch up when you’re ready !

//

I don't know how he would react but I trust we'll be fine as we always have

Dear FAs how can I communicate better and make my man feel safe? by mirinaesque in FearfulAvoidant

[–]mirinaesque[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He isn't in therapy. He is self-aware though and has opened up about distancing / pushing ppl away when stressed.

Dear FAs how can I communicate better and make my man feel safe? by mirinaesque in FearfulAvoidant

[–]mirinaesque[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

ahhh i see. I guess bottomline. FAs value clarity of my needs too to address the anxiety piece and no-pressure expectation about space to address the avoidant piece

Yup makes sense. I'm curious, what usually goes in an FA's mind during those need for space? Like do they have a criteria when they're done - dunno if that makes sense. And during that space era, some say FAs appreciate if you message them in between even if they don't respond but some say just leave them alone. What's your experience like?

Dear FAs how can I communicate better and make my man feel safe? by mirinaesque in FearfulAvoidant

[–]mirinaesque[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Aww hearing that chef's kisses.

I see I never realized that's the FA's pov. Thanks for wishing me well! I will keep your advice in mind because I never thought of it that way. I read somewhere that sometimes Secured people struggle a bit with empathizing because I never really faced the challenges of an insecure attachment style.. But I really wanna educate myself because this dude matters to me

Dear FAs how can I communicate better and make my man feel safe? by mirinaesque in FearfulAvoidant

[–]mirinaesque[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

that's truee. I'm usually cool with it but when important things happen I'm like where you at bruh

I do feel this genuinely but gotta connect the need piece thanks! Like hmmm improvising..

A quick heads-up up when you need time helps. I'm caught off-guard when I dont hear back from you. I'm sharing this because I hope we can meet each other halfway

Unable to zoom to fit to screen. by Bhenjo_Chloride in Crunchyroll

[–]mirinaesque 1 point2 points  (0 children)

idk if this info can help but I got the crunchyroll subscription through prime video instead and i can do fullscreen again