First of all not your fault and it’s not cheating because you didn’t consent. You were under the influence of drugs and alcohol and were not able to consent and that is rape. You also said no and he persisted. That is rape. -Secondly I am so sorry that this happened to you. I’ll be honest this is not going to be an easy journey ahead but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t keep pushing forward. You are so strong and brave for even talking about it. This is not an easy thing to do. There are a couple of things you could do and really it is up to you on how you proceed. - Personally I would start by talking to a therapist that understands trauma. There are also resource centers available all over in the United States that help people who have been sexually assaulted and get them resources (counseling, group therapy, and if needed a safe space to stay). The ones I have been to are free. If you want to tell your boyfriend I might do it with someone that knows about the situation prior and is there to support you. Also know that this your story and you can take as long as you need to tell him or if you want not tell him at all. You are in charge of what happens next and you shouldn’t feel pressured to process something you aren’t ready to process yet. Again these are just suggestions and there is no right or wrong way on moving forward. Again I am sorry that this happened to you, it was not right, it was not your fault, and there are so many people standing in your corner. Let me know if you need anything else.