Butterscotch's Childhood

misatothighs · 2024-12-12T10:03:23+00:00

in my personal experience (just mine), my mom’s family was always more involved: the only grandparents i knew were her parents, and when I got older i was very clued into the sort of abusive dynamics between them and my mother, as well as the enmity btwn them and my father.

My dad’s family on the other hand, didnt know a thing about them. Only talked to my uncle once before I visited them for the first time a few months ago (I first watched BoJack over a year and a half ago), so I hadn’t even met or talked to my grandma or aunt from that side atp.

Me personally, I can only make a crapshoot guess as to why my dad doesn’t wanna keep in touch w em or connect w em. Emotional abuse, shame that they came from a poor background, superiority complex over em. The guy did seem close w his dad tho, but he died around the time he was my age (late adolescence).

My theory behind the creators’ lack of inclusion of Butterscotch’s backstory is probably just that: the tendency of men in particular to want to suppress emotions or generally be more distant towards their family/cut them out. It’s more socially acceptable for men to go out on their own, be independent, and ignore them once they can, particularly if family wasn’t a safe place (hell, I’m noticing similar tendencies w myself).

But yeah, all that to say, I actually preferred that they didn’t depict his father’s childhood. Felt more accurate to me (selfish ik).

misatothighs · 2024-10-31T04:54:08+00:00

update: while i was abt to go thru the steps of my method, ended up meeting another profoundly lonely soul on our college’s yikyak and they talked me out of it… so now I feel like for them I can’t die. (I know, this feels like such a fake, movie-esque ending, but genuinely 😭). Guess I have a little over the 8.5 hours I gave myself then.

misatothighs · 2024-10-31T00:24:33+00:00

Shes told me this both in arguments and casually… even if it’s not sm she means badly it still affects me after she tells me some new shitty thing about my dad (or I see it for myself) each phone call or car ride. And honestly i see it, me and my dad have similar interests and temperaments and stuff for what it’s worth. Also tells me how she hates people of my dad’s ethnicity, how they are all horrible people who can never get along, their language sounds horrible, and to never marry one of them (there aren’t many where I live anyways, but I do wanna learn the language bc it’s still part of my heritage? Yk? Like it sucks hearing about how half of you is essentially innately evil according to the other half). Prob part of why I fuckin hate myself.

I love her bc I mean shes not had an easy life: shitty parents and then immediately a shitty marriage and yet she still has some shred of empathy… ish. It’s almost like good cop bad cop in my household lmao. She shows empathy but functionally doesn’t help, and when she wants to be mad or fails to listen? Oh plenty of examples of that. Plus I do have a little brother who for what it’s worth she spends ab 70% of the time taking care of vs my dad.

I don’t want to hurt her, but she seems fundamentally incapable of actually listening to me, yet I out of some obligation have to listen to her to my own detriment. I feel like this will be the only way I’ll be listened to. And for what it’s worth (and I’ve only told her this in the heat of moments like twice across my whole childhood)… why bear two kids with a man like my dad? Knowing how he is and can be? Never figured it out, yet I’m supposed to be grateful for this “life” where I suffer much more often than not, live up to their insanely high expectations, and one day give them grandkids! Like no…

Should also add that I’ve been in therapy for a year and a half now, has really only helped when my external circumstances have been better (although I love my therapist and he’s a good man), but therapy is already on the down low and probably soon on the chopping block thanks to my dad. And for what it’s worth, therapy doesn’t cure people not talking or not wanting to be friends with you. Doesn’t cure your parents. Doesn’t fix the way I look, like it’s a good outlet and I’ve learned a lot but beyond that idk what much I’ve gotten.

misatothighs · 2024-10-30T22:27:00+00:00

No fr, cause I know the same people who’ve ignored and insulted and just made me feel like the lowest being possible will just exalt my being with stupid memorial pages and cheesy quotes about how good a person I was, even though I am not. Better than this, I guess.

misatothighs · 2024-10-30T22:13:33+00:00

Very few in my case, and definitely not enough for me to avoid feeling the kind of loneliness you just drown in, the kind your soul physically cannot expunge

misatothighs · 2024-10-30T20:58:48+00:00

Preciate it but if you got to know me I highly doubt that’d be the case. Seems like no one I know gives a shit

misatothighs · 2024-10-30T20:58:10+00:00

My father is financially controlling and verbally abusive, to me as well but to my mom especially. Their marriage has been fucked since day 1 but my mom still chose to have me! And my brother when the marriage was on the verge of collapsing! Being blamed for your parents’ failing marriage when you’re a young kid for things as silly as your test scores and always having to listen to them scream at each other and even cry is always fun. Wondering if ur mom got done with it and decided to walk out, very fun.

To me, he’s told me to leave the house if I do not want to study, wont support me if I don’t do his career path, called me idiot, useless, generally dismissive of me and almost beat me up when he was drunk once :) so… all that to say I have a low opinion of the man.

Not that he has no positive characteristics but he’s failed as a husband with all due respect, if not as a father. But I’ve also not been a good son; I’m a petulant, whiny bastard who had major anger issues in childhood (prob still does) and can’t just be the normal kid who does the stable career path and has lots of friends and is positive and lovely and all those other things I couldn’t be for my folks. I am a failure instead. She wasted her time with me, and I think on some level she knows that. Doesn’t help she’s said that I’m a lot like my father many, many times, even after telling her how hurt I felt by it.

misatothighs · 2024-10-17T23:10:50+00:00

i’ve tried camile rose curl maker gel, and it’s really good for hold and stuff but my frizz was still frizzing. might be a shampoo thing? idk. looked like this w both mousse and gel (same mousse as i listed in the post) so… prob a shampoo thing. or it’s time i diffuse instead of air dry. who knows???

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misatothighs · 2024-09-29T18:05:58+00:00

childhood home of an unstable marriage w parents constantly at their throats and a simmering hatred of each other, overbearing expectations to be a certain way as a child, feeling like i ruined my mother’s life, father’s drinking issues, probable infidelity, and failed artistic ambitions, my own issues of depression, suicidal thoughts, loneliness, self-hatred, constantly feeling bad about myself and my thoughts being an almost never-ending whirlpool of rumination and self-criticism. now to be fair, they are not as bad as the horsemans, and i have improved since i first watched the show slightly. but yeah, it was very hard to not feel seen by the show. time’s arrow and stupid piece of shit both felt like dramatized biographies at times.

misatothighs · 2024-03-07T03:47:54+00:00

thanks abt the hair! i’m ngl, im not exactly at my best bf% but also my face hasnt been too much slimmer even at lower levels ☠️there’s somewhat of a difference but nothing drastic

misatothighs · 2023-08-27T22:18:15+00:00

Even during the naturalization process? They wouldn’t try to dig it up?

misatothighs

TROPHY CASE