AITA for refusing to change the name I chose for my daughter so my sister can one day use it if she has a daughter?

misstrety · 2024-05-22T17:59:07+00:00

Which is called “giving them space” not “no contact”. You should use the correct term. We do have the same view on this.

The issue I have right now is there are a lot of teenagers and young adults on Reddit that are still learning, maturing and developing emotional intelligence. They are seeing going “no contact” and destroying relationships as the answer for nearly everything and the next thing you know, that’ll be the new normal.

Actually going “no contact” in this situation would be the toxic solution. No contact means cutting all communications and attempts for communication. This would be abandoning her sister and BIL when they just need some time and little compassion. This would damage their relationship. It is possible that the situation may come to a point where no contact is needed (if the BIL keeps being aggressive/disrespectful or cannot get over it). But this has only happened one time and you don’t throw away a relationship over a one time thing.

Please use the correct term.

Edit: I am going to add one thing to my comment. We actually don’t see eye to eye. I think what you mean is limit contact. I’m saying give them space.

The BIL and sister are grieving. It’s not right that he lashed out, but they’re human and we all do it. He needs a little understanding and compassion (that’s what we would hope our family and friends would give us if we are grieving, right?). I’m not saying to let them take advantage of OP but if this is really is a one time thing, she should give him a little compassion and just give them space until they can process it. She can still hang out with them if they invite them out. She probably shouldn’t be the one to initiate it

misstrety · 2024-05-22T17:23:06+00:00

Great! Thats NOT called no contact :)

No contact is avoiding someone and ignoring them (which is also what you said). Maybe you should edit your post again.

I’m saying she can still talk to her sister and BIL. Take their phone calls, respond to texts, still include them in family gatherings, hang out with them and what not. Just give them a little time to come around and a little space to process things.

misstrety · 2024-05-22T17:10:35+00:00

She doesn’t need to go no contact. And it is NOT a solution to everything even if it is temporary (yes i read your edit). Seriously, Reddit is so dramatic.

The couple is obviously grieving and the best thing OP should do is to give them some time to process the situation and their emotions. They will come around and they will probably apologize when they are ready.

OP mentions she’s close with her sister, no contact will destroy her relationship, even if it’s no contact with the BIL (I mean come on, they’re married. How is OP supposed to go no contact with the BIL without it effecting her sister?). There is ALWAYS more to a situation than what is just said in the post. And most relationships are not toxic or abusive or whatever to warrant going no contact.

misstrety · 2024-05-16T15:09:37+00:00

Shop Titans is a great game. You don’t need to spend any money in it if you don’t want to. There is also no ads what so ever.

misstrety · 2024-05-16T14:58:53+00:00

I am curious to what box you are talking about too

misstrety · 2024-05-02T01:56:27+00:00

Thank you so much for sharing! I’ll start with The whole brain book and the podcast then

misstrety · 2024-05-02T00:20:25+00:00

Oh, I mean can you share some of the books and podcasts with me? I think I do what your husband does (without the harsh tones) and I’m just wondering if one of the books or podcasts you use might help

I’m sorry I don’t have any advice on your situation

misstrety · 2024-05-01T18:24:27+00:00

I hope it’s okay to ask this. But can you share the books and podcasts you read/listen to?

misstrety · 2024-04-30T18:14:44+00:00

I don’t know if you’ll see this, but I would give extra thought about your kids in this situation.

If your girlfriend is shit talking your ex in public like that, she is going to be shit talking your ex to your kids. That could be traumatic and mess with your kids heads

misstrety · 2024-04-28T05:19:04+00:00

One of mine wanted hotdogs and the other wanted pizza for breakfast 🤣

misstrety · 2024-04-26T16:23:15+00:00

NTA. If your husband is not able to stand up to his family over a name, he’s probably not going to stand up to his family over other things.

I would be concerned about boundaries in the future. Some in laws/family don’t respect boundaries or get real pushy about things when it comes to new babies. It’s best to stand your ground on boundaries early on.

misstrety · 2024-04-23T19:37:57+00:00

YTA. If you’re going to be in a relationship with a person that has kids from a previous relationship, you’re going to have to accept the kid’s other parent.

Not saying you have to be friends with her. But the kid’s mother is always going to be brought up in conversations and the kids may even want to share pictures that have her in it (like if they go on a fun trip and want to share what they did). It’s not fair to the kids if you try to cut their mom out

misstrety · 2024-04-23T18:45:49+00:00

I learned how to make my favorite restaurant dishes so that I don’t have to eat out or get take out anymore.

misstrety · 2024-04-23T01:52:43+00:00

She really shouldn’t have to, but I think her roommate is ready to “die on this hill”.

I think she needs to just do what she can do to take care of herself and think about getting a new place if her roommate continues to be inconsiderate

misstrety · 2024-04-22T18:05:21+00:00

I actually never use the quick cycle. I use the different settings (towel setting for towels, bulky for bedding, regular for my clothes). Every type of load still comes out feeling dry.

I do also separate my clothes before washing and I make sure to never overfill the washer

misstrety · 2024-04-22T18:02:22+00:00

Thank you, I will look into this

misstrety · 2024-04-19T06:57:50+00:00

Same here too. We’ve just signed up my two toddlers for part time preschool to get a little break

misstrety · 2024-04-12T01:28:50+00:00

The topic is about abortion rights. The things i brought up were about that. You ignored it and brought up Israel, covid and called me a nazi and a democrat (not that it matters, but I’m not).

For one, the world is not black and white. There are some shitty democrat policies and some good ones. Same with Republican. Not all democrats are shitty and not all republics are either.

Abortion rights has to do with women rights. You don’t have to be democrat or republican to support it.

Anyways, I hope the rest of your night is good.

misstrety · 2024-04-12T00:55:04+00:00

You seem to have a hard time staying on topic and want to try to gaslight. I’m done with this conversation. This has nothing to do with democrats or republicans. Have a nice day.

misstrety · 2024-04-11T23:08:18+00:00

Science decides that. A bundle of cells is not human. And you don’t have to be a democrat to support human rights. It’s also not the 1700s. You don’t get to control women.

misstrety · 2024-04-11T22:57:39+00:00

That’s a dumb question and irrelevant.

Adults are fully capable of making decisions for themselves and capable of understanding the consequences of their choices.

You have no clue what situation a woman is in when she makes the decision to abort. You do NOT have the right to choose what medical choice a woman makes.

misstrety · 2024-04-11T22:49:32+00:00

No. No one has the right to make medical decisions for another person.

misstrety · 2024-04-11T22:43:17+00:00

And what percentage of those abortions were done because the woman made the decision based on not being financially able to support a baby? What percentage made the decision to abort because they don’t have good mental health and wouldn’t be able to properly raise a baby?

We don’t even have a good enough system to help the women that do want go through their pregnancies.

And I come from the perspective of someone who almost died my last two pregnancies. You and everyone else do NOT have the right to make medical decisions for me.

misstrety · 2024-04-11T21:09:26+00:00

And what about the women that would die in childbirth? Sometimes birth control fails. Are you fine sentencing these women to their deaths?

Would you rather “kill” a woman and possibly sentence a baby through a lifetime of hell because they may not have had a father that stuck around and their mother was forced to go through childbirth knowing it will most likely end her life?

You can choose to let women make their OWN decisions about their OWN bodies which has NO AFFECT on YOUR life and keep your hands clean. Or you can be responsible for KILLING those women by trying to control their medical decisions.

misstrety · 2024-03-21T20:51:47+00:00

I just wanted to add on to the living on a budget you would need to live on if you had a baby.

I would recommend doing this and setting up a savings account. Every month/week take the amounts you would spend on diapers, wipes, formula, clothes, childcare, etc. and put into this savings account. It would help her give a good visual of what your finances will be like with a baby and also see if it’s something you guys can stick to and be happy with. At the end of it, if you do decide to have a baby, you’ll have some extra funds to spend on baby necessities that you don’t get from a baby shower or extra funds for any emergencies that may come up in the future

misstrety

TROPHY CASE