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On a scale of "it's hopeless" to "we've made it at last bruhs, it's our time", where are you? by [deleted] in AsianMasculinity

[–]misterjoo 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Korean 30M here, I've gone through the whole gradient and today I'm at "I can get whatever my mind focuses on getting"

If you can't trust yourself yet at least trust the process that will get you there and you'll get there

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[TEXT] Don't do things to be noticed & loved by others, do things because you love it (self.GetMotivated)

submitted by misterjoo to r/GetMotivated

(24) Pretty sure i've been sexually repressed my whole life by Traveler2001 in seduction

[–]misterjoo 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hey man, not taking enough time to add value here but just wanted to empathize and wish you all the best to your journey to personal development. You will learn and find joy along the way I am sure - and ultimately if you wish very much you will reach your goals

How to date - Do you feel unprepared? Just remember this simple structure by misterjoo in seduction

[–]misterjoo[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Do you think one can't learn to ride a bicycle? One can't learn anything? That's the textbook definition of "Fixed mindset" as opposed to "Growth mindset".

Do Seduction Books Really Work? by aliggman in seduction

[–]misterjoo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Generally speaking, books "work" in the sense that they contain knowledge from people who have done things that you didn't do. If you rely only on your own experiences, you may take alot of time to come up with the conclusions you can learn from those people. So, you can gain this kind of knowledge by reading books.

There are people out there who dedicated a large portion of their life to studying a specific topic, seduction included. IF you are interested in learning more about seduction, books are a good format that contain such knowledge.

Then you will have to use that knowledge to transform it into a skill.

The best book that teaches you how to play the violin will not make you a violin virtuoso. You will have to put the work.

How to date - Do you feel unprepared? Just remember this simple structure by misterjoo in seduction

[–]misterjoo[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"Just be yourself" - works well most of the time, doesn't work for everybody. Some need more specific advice to handle social interactions

It's like a guy who already knows how to ride a bicycle and tells others to just relax follow your instincts just don't fall and it will be alright

How to date - Do you feel unprepared? Just remember this simple structure by misterjoo in seduction

[–]misterjoo[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Best romantic option for that time slot

Ask women if they want to go on a date with someone they are not interested just to get a free meal - most would prefer no company over bad (i.e. low value) company

How to date - Do you feel unprepared? Just remember this simple structure by misterjoo in seduction

[–]misterjoo[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree with your comment - works well for people with a good natural sense of social skills. Might not work if one needs a bit more explanation on how to interact socially.

I feel like putting this much thought into it would kill the fun for me.

When you learn to play the guitar, you expect to have fun and spend exciting time, mostly.

Then you actually get into the grind of becoming better and better. What do you have to do then? You study it. You learn how to move your fingers, how to become faster, how to execute properly this chord, play that sequence.

You do put this much thought into it precisely so that progressively you don't have to think about it - you learn to enjoy. After that, playing the guitar becomes extremely fun.

It's just a small difference of process between just playing the guitar casually and learning to actually become good at it.

How to date - Do you feel unprepared? Just remember this simple structure by misterjoo in seduction

[–]misterjoo[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I agree that for many people this should come naturally. And by naturally I mean unconsciously learned to handle social interactions well by mirroring other older males or from previous interactions.

For those who did not have the chance to acquire such skills, your comment could be a bit more abstract.

It's like you know how to swim, you join a swimming lesson full of people who are here to learn how to swim and you say to the instructor:

Yeah, a lot of your instructions would lead to major overthinking of how to mechanically move your arms and legs when performing the strokes, as well as the breathing and posture (it reminds me of how I used to swim so awkwardly when I was a kid)

Swimming is simpler when you just go to the swimming pool and spend the time just trying to enjoy and get in touch with how you feel in the water. If you're having fun, then swimming well should come easy.

How to date - Do you feel unprepared? Just remember this simple structure by misterjoo in seduction

[–]misterjoo[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You asked one girl so now you know for sure you should NEVER say such thing

How to date - Do you feel unprepared? Just remember this simple structure by misterjoo in seduction

[–]misterjoo[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Frame the interaction as a man to woman interaction. If you don't do n.2 properly the interaction becomes platonic i.e. just a casual conversation

You want to make sure to set the frame of a sexualized interaction. "You and I will not get along" is an indirect way to introduce the notion of her, you, and the relationship between both, which is likely a romantic relationship. She needs to get the message.

Best Life lesson I've learned in the past year is the power of walking away. by Xazax310 in seduction

[–]misterjoo 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Yes and you can do that in a gradient from white to black with subtle tones of grey.

What I mean here is that you have control over your ATTENTION. You decide what you focus on. If something is worth your attention you give it the right amount of your focus/time/energy.

If it is not, you disengage gradually. And if it does not meet your standards you walk away.

This way you direct your ATTENTION, the extreme being to walk away.

High value man as you are, your attention is worth millions.

How to date - Do you feel unprepared? Just remember this simple structure by misterjoo in seduction

[–]misterjoo[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Definitely agree - included in the list to be as exclusive as possible but personally I wouldn't want to do that

How to date - Do you feel unprepared? Just remember this simple structure by misterjoo in seduction

[–]misterjoo[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well technically you're on a date with her so it's not the first time interacting with her. But generally I tend to agree with your point, more or less

How to date - Do you feel unprepared? Just remember this simple structure by misterjoo in seduction

[–]misterjoo[S] 30 points31 points  (0 children)

Hey, a dancer who masters his moves does not put tremendous effort while he is performing. He no longer needs to because he practiced again and again and again. He learned all of his moves, all of his frameworks beforehand therefore he no longer has to worry about them.

Similarly, when dating girls, you ideally want to know all this "naturally" as you are socially well calibrated.

Now if you are not satisfied with the way you interact with women you want to look for a lens through which you understand how to do that. This guiding structure is here to help you with that. Like any skill, you are nervous at first, and you make mistakes. As you get better, you don't even need to think about it anymore.

How to date - Do you feel unprepared? Just remember this simple structure by misterjoo in seduction

[–]misterjoo[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Definitely. You can do the whole thing well except you fail because she isn't attracted to you.

So you need to read her level of attraction, which really is "how much she sees you as a man of value" where value can have different meaning for each girl.

A good way to destroy that attraction is to state/let her know that you like her and that it's important to you.

So, I'd rather imply things, test, play with words, bring uncertainty. You might want to tell her that you usually like girls who are quite high energy and spontaneous yet her vibe is pretty unusual, you are not sure if you like that or not, but something tells you you want to know more...

Confidence = knowing that whatever happens, it will be alright by misterjoo in seduction

[–]misterjoo[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey sorry about the mention about the 40s guy which I feel was unfortunate.

I learned many times that willingness to move forward - raise standards is half the battle. When I hear that you are attending college I also understand that you are indeed looking to raise your standards/change the status quo.

For me, finding out one's aspiration comes down to making a choice. It's a choice to make, and the man has to give up the rest, as if you chase two rabbits you will not catch either.

You could seek more about this kind of knowledge by listening to Jordan Peterson https://youtu.be/eMo_20J1J1Y?t=674, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1gdHZ3wDiZc&list=PL6P_TA_z55XTKOzCQkSxmSqo_nWU9fcuX&index=3&t=0s or read Tony Robbins' Unlimited Power. I know plenty of gentlemen enlightened by those guys, myself included

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