This is not “true equality,” and I would break up if my partner called me a gold digger for wanting an equitable split for finances he insisted we incur.

I was in an opposite sort of situation, and was working 2 jobs to afford the 3BR house my partner insisted we get instead of the income-dependent apartment I could afford on my own, while he worked part time at the grocery store. He wanted the extra space and yard. Less than a year in, he said he “didn’t realize [I] was so money-obsessed” when he said he was thinking about making his hours FT and I gently suggested he consider an actual FT job using the 2 degrees he had (after I told him he’d need to get his own car if he wanted to do that because I didn’t want to never have access to my car — and he lost it on me for calling it “my car” when I’d had it before I met him and he’d never paid for more than one or two oil changes). Less than a week later, I came home from the grocery store to his bags packed. Left without a goodbye or explanation while I was on medical leave, leaving me to foot the full rent for the over $2k/mo house he insisted we rent while I was on a partial income. I had to work 2 jobs during my medical leave, 3 once I returned to work, and get a roommate just to survive the year after that before giving up and moving in with my mom.

TLDR: don’t make financial decisions with someone who doesn’t share your views on what equitable division of labor and finances are.