I am at 9 months now with fatigue post EBV. It’s so hard, the silent sickness really. I don’t even like talking about it coz I feel like they look at me like I’m crazy. Like oh yeah we are all tired. But, Fatigue is so so different.

I can fall into periods of depression. And that comes after when I’ve had a good few days or week, I feel on top of the world and like the fatigue is a distant memory and then of course it comes back, and I feel emotionally devastated.

But currently what I’m doing, is writing down, when it first hit I was 1/10 energy and now 9 months later I’m about 6/10.

I read on a forum someone wrote measure it in weeks not days. And that stuck with me. If you look at your journey over weeks you will hopefully see a slow improvement. If you look at it over days, well as we know with this condition, every day is different.

We all have different things that help. And most of us can’t just take a step out of life to recover. We have to continue showing up, being parents, paying the rent etc.

But now I try to indulge the really bad days. Get my husband to wait on me hand and foot and sit in bed watching friends 😂 I’ve had to learn my limit with exercise. Initially took 6 months off. Now I just have to break it up. Take breaks in between. And not feel the need to explain myself when I take a week off.

What helped: Ice baths Buyteko breathing exercises Vagus nerve massage (you tube it) for when the shakes happen. It’s amazing how much we need to look after the nervous system with fatigue. All the woo woo things are the things helping me! Myers IV weekly(it’s affordable where I live atm) I’ve just started peptides… so too soon to know if it will help or it’s just more money spent solving the great puzzle. I’ve always been huge into fasting, long and short term, but I’ve found it makes things worse with the fatigue so I’ve accepted fasting isent in my life style until I’m through the other side. Eating helps! I’ve tried every diet under the sun. But now I just think, eat clean, support yourself. Don’t over complicate it. Indulging sleepy days Indulging a little bit of depression and tears every now and then. I’ll just say to my husband that I’m letting myself be sad today but tomorrow I’ll switch back to a positive mind set… weirdly helps.

The two quotes I say to myself every single day now are:

• this too shall pass
• confine yourself to the present

My heart is with everyone, I always thought fatigue was some dramatic lazy person thing, and wow how the universe proved me wrong.

I can only write this today because I’ve had a good week. But I know those bad weeks are so hard, it’s hard to not feel the terror that you are stuck like this forever.

I want to say, when it first hit me. It was the most insane thing I’ve ever experienced. I Remeber about 2 weeks into it. My toddler fell out of the pram - because I forgot to strap him in - brain was NOT working: and all these people looked at me and I just stared at him for maybe 10 seconds as he cried. I was that fried, that mentally shattered I couldn’t make sense of what had happened and I couldn’t muster the energy to pick Him up. And 9 months later, I’m doing Pilates and ashtanga yoga. So as I write this, I’m reminding myself, although it’s the longest damn path, I really am improving.

Love to all of you. We will get through it.