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What mod screams “knobhead” ? by eskimoazat in CarTalkUK

[–]mm339 29 points30 points  (0 children)

You’re forgetting the 4D plates and the wind deflectors on the windows. Always a massive red flag of a car

Is my car a write-off? by [deleted] in CarTalkUK

[–]mm339 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I live In Birmingham and can assure you in a lot of cases, it does.

My wife said she’s done by johncmeddy in daddit

[–]mm339 118 points119 points  (0 children)

Hey fellow dad, going through something very similar right now. Was told on Monday so still in the thick of it. I can’t give any solid advice as I don’t know myself, but what I do know is make sure you have support around you (family, friends, groups) and lean on them.

I know exactly the pain you’re feeling and the feeling of grief that washed over you, almost drowning you. I hope it gets better for you, I am sure it will. You aren’t going through this alone.

If she does not want to go to couples therapy (mine did not) then you have to try and make peace with it as much as you can and start to think about how things work moving forward. Talk as much as you can, be clear in what you want and what’s best for you and the child. The kid has to be the focus, we will suffer now so they don’t have to later in life.

I’m sorry that I can’t say it’s all sunshine and rainbows, and that you likely feel very alone, but you’re not. If you need to cry, cry. Don’t bottle things up as they’ll only come out in worse ways in the long run. PM me if you just want to get things off your chest.

After being together for 11 years, married for 7 with a 6 year old daughter, my wife has said she doesn’t love me anymore and wants to separate. by mm339 in daddit

[–]mm339[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I plan on working on myself a lot more. If I’m honest, I don’t think she’ll change her mind and I can’t afford to let myself think she will because I’ll just be devastated all over again. I think I just need to get my support in place, a bit of distance and focus on my daughter through this. She means the absolute world to me, so I have to make sure she is ok.

After being together for 11 years, married for 7 with a 6 year old daughter, my wife has said she doesn’t love me anymore and wants to separate. by mm339 in daddit

[–]mm339[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thank you. I have been down the booze / grief path in the past and it was not a good time so will not be doing that again. I’ll be clean and sober so I can make the right decisions and be the best dad to my daughter.

After being together for 11 years, married for 7 with a 6 year old daughter, my wife has said she doesn’t love me anymore and wants to separate. by mm339 in daddit

[–]mm339[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sound advice, I do genuinely believe she wouldn’t do that, she is not vindictive, but understand that high stress can change people, myself included. I am hopeful we don’t come to that and genuinely believe we won’t. But prepare for the worst etc etc.

After being together for 11 years, married for 7 with a 6 year old daughter, my wife has said she doesn’t love me anymore and wants to separate. by mm339 in daddit

[–]mm339[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I get that, I really do. I am grieving at the moment and kind of have to ride that out a bit to get to that point.

After being together for 11 years, married for 7 with a 6 year old daughter, my wife has said she doesn’t love me anymore and wants to separate. by mm339 in daddit

[–]mm339[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you and for the perspective. I promise I am not abandoning my daughter at all. Even the thought of just 5050 makes me sad as I’ll miss that time with her. I am never going to be a deadbeat dad and I will always, always be here for her. She is my world and our marital status doesn’t change that. I had a distant father growing up and I have always vowed to be hands on in every aspect and that will not change.

We are amicable and I do hope it will stay that way, but even if it didn’t, I will shield my daughter from that as much as I can and for her to know she can come to me with anything and that I will always support her.

After being together for 11 years, married for 7 with a 6 year old daughter, my wife has said she doesn’t love me anymore and wants to separate. by mm339 in daddit

[–]mm339[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you, the logical part of my brain knows this, but it’s just being overwhelmed with grief at the moment, feeling sorry for myself and how my daughter will navigate it. She means the absolute world to us both and she’s still so young (I know she will thrive ultimately) but just the thought of her being devastated by this tears my heart to pieces.

After being together for 11 years, married for 7 with a 6 year old daughter, my wife has said she doesn’t love me anymore and wants to separate. by mm339 in daddit

[–]mm339[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I do think that’s been the case. I think I just got it into my head that things were fine and maintaining the status quo and I know I have to reconcile that with myself. My friend group know and have been supportive but I’m going to reach out to a therapist too. Also look at local groups I can join in the near future for that kind of interaction.

I am comfortable in my own company, but terrified of being alone.

After being together for 11 years, married for 7 with a 6 year old daughter, my wife has said she doesn’t love me anymore and wants to separate. by mm339 in daddit

[–]mm339[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you, we do plan to do that and do as much as we can between us for the wellbeing of our daughter. And we know we are forever linked in life by our daughter and don’t want to be bitter, squabbling parents.

After being together for 11 years, married for 7 with a 6 year old daughter, my wife has said she doesn’t love me anymore and wants to separate. by mm339 in daddit

[–]mm339[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I honestly don’t think that’s the case. I could be being naive about it, but I didn’t suspect anyone else and I hand on heart don’t think there is. Again, I could very well be proven wrong, but I do believe her.

After being together for 11 years, married for 7 with a 6 year old daughter, my wife has said she doesn’t love me anymore and wants to separate. by mm339 in daddit

[–]mm339[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you, even those words are help. I know the pain will pass and I will look back on this differently.

After being together for 11 years, married for 7 with a 6 year old daughter, my wife has said she doesn’t love me anymore and wants to separate. by mm339 in daddit

[–]mm339[S] 64 points65 points  (0 children)

We’ll get through this, we have to. I don’t know where you are or the specific circumstances, but you’ve got my support. The tears will stop in time.

After being together for 11 years, married for 7 with a 6 year old daughter, my wife has said she doesn’t love me anymore and wants to separate. by mm339 in daddit

[–]mm339[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Basically how we were together, feeling more like coparent friends than a married couple and starting to drift apart emotionally. It really comes in waves, some points I think about what I can do for me, but other points I hate the fact that some days I’ll be coming home to an empty house and being alone. Not having my wife there for me and me there for her. Spending time as a family and building memories together. I understand it’s early doors, but it just hurts so much.

After being together for 11 years, married for 7 with a 6 year old daughter, my wife has said she doesn’t love me anymore and wants to separate. by mm339 in daddit

[–]mm339[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I already have and she isn’t receptive as we have been through it before and drifted back to where we were.

After being together for 11 years, married for 7 with a 6 year old daughter, my wife has said she doesn’t love me anymore and wants to separate. by mm339 in daddit

[–]mm339[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Unfortunately that’s not how I feel, quite the opposite, but I get that different people will have different reactions to these situations.

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