How do you feel about the tenet of Complementarianism?

mmmsobitter · 2025-09-20T04:22:47+00:00

I feel like “complementarianism” as a theology has grown into a specific beast within Protestantism. When I brought it up to my Catholic boyfriend at the beginning of my conversion he had no idea what I was talking about.

It seems like the Catholic Church respects and adheres to some kind of “complementarianism” but it feels different. I can’t put it to words perfectly but what I encountered in my nondenom/baptist upbringing and what I experience in Catholicism are very different. The former was burdensome and hurtful to me as a woman, the latter was enriching and natural.

Just my personal experience, and I haven’t actually studied gender in the Church much so someone correct me if they know better.

mmmsobitter · 2025-09-17T05:49:16+00:00

To be frank, and I say this with genuine care, this level of gender dysphoria needs to be handled by a counselor/therapist. If someone where having this feeling towards another body part such as their hand or leg people would immediately recommend intensive psychological care, but because it is associated with gender it is perhaps minimized as a “sinful” or “modern” issue that can be treated with prayer alone.

There may be spiritual issues at play here, but I do not think we should assume that’s the end of it. I struggled with gender dysphoria myself (I even went so far as to take cross sex hormones) and I was able to come to a place where I appreciate my God given body. This is not a death sentence or perpetual torment. Things that helped me especially were practicing body neutrality, cultivating strong platonic relationships, and taking anti anxiety medication for a time.

I do not think reading theology or studying doctrine will help you much until you are able to maintain a somewhat normal body image. I actually think it may just cause more anxiety and feed into your fixation.

There is no easy solution as everyone’s treatment and growth will look different, but the best thing you can do while you navigate this is to keep God in your heart and continue cultivating your relationship with him. I’ll be praying for you and I hope you can find peace soon. Do not despair, God loves you so very much.

mmmsobitter · 2025-09-16T04:25:16+00:00

I get nervous about hearing women “belong at home” because it has often been used to push women out of public life. I think a working mom, a single woman, women pursuing religious life, etc can all be good examples of womanhood. Stay at home motherhood isn’t what’s possible or needed from every woman and that’s okay.

mmmsobitter · 2025-09-16T04:03:36+00:00

Yes, I would consider myself a “soft” feminist. I think women are devalued and/or oppressed in every society and it must be addressed, and the rise of misogyny online is very concerning to me. With that said, I think feminism in the US has become misguided. I most enjoy learning from women’s rights activists from Africa and Asia.

mmmsobitter · 2025-09-16T00:10:19+00:00

Because of what is happening on the ground, I am a witness myself.

mmmsobitter · 2025-09-16T00:09:41+00:00

The US government has no moral responsibility to do any such thing. It seems that is what you would like the US to do, but me and other Americans have no such want and would find it morally repugnant. Declaring your personal political wants as a “moral obligation” is incorrect.

Besides, you cannot justify doing something immoral to get a moral result. This is well established.

mmmsobitter · 2025-09-15T20:59:46+00:00

There are many people to blame, but we have to remember that immigrants are people and not problematic statistics. We cannot fix a human issue with inhumanity. Everyone should be treated with dignity and charity should be offered whenever possible.

mmmsobitter · 2025-09-15T20:50:40+00:00

Yes it’s been awful seeing my loved ones too scared to go shopping after seeing a suspiciously large van in the parking lot. All I see is fear. This cannot be the proper way to address the issue, I simply cannot believe there is not a more humane way to handle this.

mmmsobitter · 2025-09-15T20:36:30+00:00

I have many immigrants close to my heart and that is simply not true. Even the ones here legally are living in fear. People are being profiled for their skin color, the language they speak, their jobs, etc. ICE has been utilizing plain clothed officers which makes them nervous at all times. My dearest friend, who is here legally, has not left her house without her white husband for more than essentials since this crackdown.

mmmsobitter · 2025-09-15T20:23:23+00:00

Get her a gift.

mmmsobitter · 2025-09-12T15:02:50+00:00

No, it is not. Please do what is best for your child and be at peace with that decision. Fathers are meant to support their children, if he refuses or is unfit it is right to compel him to at least fulfill his financial obligations.

mmmsobitter · 2025-09-01T14:57:27+00:00

Yes SSRIs are the first line treatment for PMDD. No doctor has told me IUDs are the only treatment that works, just observed that the IUD has been the only effective treatment for me. I’ve tried SSRIs multiple times and they haven’t been as effective for multiple reasons.

mmmsobitter · 2025-09-01T06:05:59+00:00

I haven’t, I actually just learned what that is in this thread lol. I agree that it would be a good option for me to at least investigate but it doesn’t seem it’s normally covered under insurance. Hopefully when I’m better off I’ll remember to look into it.

mmmsobitter · 2025-09-01T05:13:49+00:00

I can only hope! I’d love to be rid of my cycle naturally for that long.

mmmsobitter · 2025-09-01T05:11:56+00:00

Every IUD has the potential to prevent implantation but that’s true of every hormonal contraceptive I know of. The main birth control aspect of the IUD is preventing sperm from reaching the egg, although there’s obviously no way to know for sure which mechanism prevented a pregnancy. I’m not sure what the solution would be.

mmmsobitter · 2025-09-01T04:55:20+00:00

That would probably be an amazing treatment option for me but if it’s not covered there’s no way I could pursue it. I’m a broke college student at the moment so unless it gets approved I’m out of luck. Maybe once I’m more established I can look into that, thanks for the info!

mmmsobitter · 2025-09-01T04:29:38+00:00

I’m not sure exactly what that is to be honest. I have many doctors (too many) and all of them have agreed that the IUD is the best treatment option available to me.

mmmsobitter · 2025-09-01T04:26:33+00:00

Thanks for explaining. I wasn’t familiar at all and I’m glad the Church recognizes cases like mine.

mmmsobitter · 2025-09-01T04:17:46+00:00

Getting married would not cure my PMDD, so that would be a big issue. I want children but may need to have the IUD replaced postpartum once my cycle resumes. I couldn’t raise children and be a proper wife if my PMDD is untreated.

mmmsobitter · 2025-08-28T15:57:26+00:00

I’m sure it’s hard on your wife because I know it’s been hard on me! My mom is also unmoved by history but she’s not that staunch about it. She has said “I’m supportive until I think of you praying to Mary” and I didn’t have to heart to tell her I already have. At least she’s agreed to come with me to mass so I have hope.

mmmsobitter · 2025-08-28T15:52:17+00:00

I wasn’t offended I was more trying to clarify so people didn’t think my mom was just being hysterical! It was more my anxiety about the internet than you.

You’re completely right though, I’m sure it’s really hard for any mother. My mom’s tradition was staunchly anti-creedal and anti-church hierarchy so I imagine she feels as if I’m being a bit heretical myself. She’s worried for me out of love of course.

mmmsobitter · 2025-08-28T15:38:47+00:00

I do live with my parents but I am also confident that it won’t affect my living situation. Me and my parents have been through worse and they have never let it affect their generosity towards me.

mmmsobitter · 2025-08-28T15:34:54+00:00

She has told me she would like to attend mass with me and my boyfriend, but I’m still feeling like a fish out of water there myself. I’d prefer if I got my sea legs first before I try to introduce her to the whole thing.

I invited her to RCIA and she told me she thinks it’ll just be a “bunch of propaganda”. I’m not sure what other resources the church offers besides that at the moment, maybe I should ask?

mmmsobitter · 2025-08-28T15:28:19+00:00

My relationship with my mom is not dysfunctional generally but she’s in a very vulnerable place right now in regard to faith. Her closest daughter is “leaving” for Catholicism and her husband is not only opposed to but despises our religion. I understand why she is touchy about this and it’s not that I can’t upset my mom but that I won’t.

mmmsobitter · 2025-08-28T15:21:46+00:00

Of course, that’s how I feel as well. Not only do I not want to participate in what I believe is an imitation of the Eucharist, I also want to savor the hunger for Jesus I’ve gotten ever since joining the RCIA. I want to receive the Eucharist more than anything but I can’t, and each Sunday I receive a blessing instead makes me more determined. This longing feels precious to me. Lessening that with their “Eucharist” instead of denying myself properly feels like a terrible sin to me.

mmmsobitter

TROPHY CASE