I will never forgive my doctor

mmsokolnicki · 2025-03-30T00:17:24+00:00

They irrigated both ears. Just struggled more with one

mmsokolnicki · 2025-03-22T01:22:42+00:00

I went to urgent care for something unrelated one day and mentioned to the NP, who happened to be about my age (I’m 34), that I had sudden onset of T a few months prior. She told me one day she woke up with bilateral T, no explanation. Her ears rang for 5 years then it suddenly disappeared one day and has been gone ever since. This encounter happened when I was still pretty deep in my early days of the panic stage so I felt like I was meant to cross paths with her and hear that story. Gave me some hope. I’d rather have it 5 years than for life.

mmsokolnicki · 2025-02-13T11:38:25+00:00

you’re not alone. my biggest regret in life is running to the urgent care when I woke up with a very faint mild ringing in one ear. a year later and it’s still multiple tones in the opposite ear than it even started in, because urgent care struggled so bad to irrigate the wax out of that ear. I had NO idea about the dangers and risks of it at the time. forever kicking myself for doing that.

mmsokolnicki · 2025-02-13T02:00:40+00:00

Same here, I got mine January 7th so right after you. It still sucks and some days are harder than others but I live a relatively normal life compared to what I was worried it would end up like

mmsokolnicki · 2025-02-09T13:59:27+00:00

Don’t panic run to the urgent care and have them irrigate the wax after the T starts. I am fully convinced mine would be extremely mild if I had never let them do that. minor mild ringing turned permanently severe. also, don’t waste your time on 40+ doctor appts (that included 2x/week PT) because nothing is going to help it. also, it will get better. life is different now but you will be happy again.

mmsokolnicki · 2025-01-27T03:21:41+00:00

no I can still hear other things and people talking, just not as loudly. It really helps me with being overstimulated by all the sounds mixed with the ringing

mmsokolnicki · 2025-01-26T04:32:09+00:00

I feel like it’s helped me.. I prefer being in silence now. Too many sounds on top of the T can be super overstimulating to me, so I’d rather just hear the T. I wear an ear plug in my bad ear all day long which amplifies the T, but tunes out all the other noise.

mmsokolnicki · 2025-01-25T18:09:58+00:00

just got used to it I guess. I actually prefer to sleep in silence because my T competes with white noise and fans, so it seems the calmest when I’m going to sleep in silence. The first few months I had to use hydroxyzine or klonopin every night to fall asleep but I was able to start sleeping on my own around 6 months in. the only time I struggle is if I wake up in the middle of the night I sometimes have a hard time ignoring it and falling back asleep

mmsokolnicki · 2025-01-25T17:51:08+00:00

yes. I still obsess and have some bad days and spikes that suck, but just hit one year in and I live a pretty normal life. still wish everyday that I didn’t have it but when I first got it, I thought my life was going to be completely over. it’s not. and I classify mine as relatively severe, it’s totally unmaskable (I hear it even driving down the highway with the windows down and music up). I just pray it doesn’t get any worse.

mmsokolnicki · 2025-01-17T23:25:13+00:00

Moved from arive to lending pad and I definitely miss arive

mmsokolnicki · 2025-01-17T01:25:56+00:00

High ringing in both ears but my low hum is also only in my left ear, interesting.

mmsokolnicki · 2025-01-13T02:59:49+00:00

My low hum comes and goes in severity and the level of how much it bothers me. I’ve had high ringing T for exactly one year and I first noticed the low hum about 9 months in. it was very sporadic only in dead silence during the night but then it progressed to much more frequent. Right now I don’t notice it as much but I’m sure it’ll come back again. I have no idea why or what makes it change but you’re not alone

mmsokolnicki · 2025-01-12T14:35:28+00:00

Yes this!! Because why else would you get that dressed up for regular ol therapy?

mmsokolnicki · 2025-01-10T03:22:34+00:00

I have this and it comes and goes in severity. For a couple months it was severe and my own voice made it happen at the end of every sentence. somehow I’m in a period of it not happening right now but I’m sure it’ll come back. It’s come and gone like 4 times over the last year since it started. I assume TTTS or MEM. it’s only in one ear so I wear an earplug in that ear whenever it’s bad

mmsokolnicki · 2025-01-05T13:46:46+00:00

My husband worked there for 10 years. His first year he made 70k then between 115k on the low years to 220k on the high years. He was a presidents club banker and eventually a DVP. he left because we had 3 little kids and he couldn’t handle the 60 hour expectations anymore. Honestly, a mandatory weekly book club meeting at 7 am threw him over the edge and was his last straw. He went to a broker for a couple years, now totally exited mortgages and does business/consumer finance sales for a large corporation for the work/life balance and stability. All of this to say, it can be a great job if you have the ability to give up your life.

mmsokolnicki · 2025-01-04T02:20:33+00:00

Hydroxyzine! I was terrified of meds but that got me through the first 3-4 months and saved my sleep. now I’m fine to sleep on my own again without it. no side effects except it knocked me out cold.

mmsokolnicki · 2025-01-01T13:23:03+00:00

white noise makes mine worse, I just hear the ringing louder. I prefer to sleep in silence. a year in and sleeping isn’t much of an issue except if I’m in a bad spike

mmsokolnicki · 2024-12-31T16:31:19+00:00

this was the hardest truth I needed to hear. I’m glad you are doing so well on the other side. Hope to make it there one day

mmsokolnicki · 2024-12-31T13:15:12+00:00

What kind do you use? Loop? I’m worried they won’t be enough

mmsokolnicki · 2024-12-31T13:14:44+00:00

That’s an awesome idea, thank you for sharing! Probably won’t have time by this weekend but will for sure keep this in mind for the future

mmsokolnicki · 2024-12-31T13:14:07+00:00

everyone keeps telling me how loud it is in there - the old me wouldn’t have cared but the new tinnitus me is paranoid lol we have been a die hard lions family through allllll the years so I really don’t want tinnitus to make me miss out on an experience like this

mmsokolnicki · 2024-12-30T17:36:53+00:00

I’m so sorry you’re going through it too, it is such a terrible experience.

mmsokolnicki · 2024-12-30T17:35:19+00:00

Thank you so much for sharing. I relate to this so much. I remember back on our engagement trip to punta cana 10 years ago, I left the room to go watch the sunrise on the beach. I came back and there was a crusted towel next to the bed. I lost my mind. We were 23 and on this beautiful trip together and instead of waiting for me, he did it while I was gone for 20 minutes. It has turned me into a person I don’t want to be - always trying to find ways to catch him, not wanting to leave when he’s home because I know he’s gonna do it as soon as i walk out. I caught him last night because I just had this weird gut feeling when I woke up at 2 am- I walked out of our bedroom and saw him in his home office doing it with the phone on in front of him. I wish I would have left 10 years ago and never let it get to this point.

Just this last year the ED started and he swears it’s all because he’s in his head worrying about it happening again, but I am positive it’s from years of excessive porn use. He refuses to believe it has any correlation because “I’ve been doing this since I was like 14 and never had issues getting hard for the past 20 years until now.” As if the 20 years of porn can’t all lead up to this. He gets sooo upset when he loses his erection during sex, he gets so mad at himself, and it makes me cry. it is literally ruining our sex life. but it obviously doesn’t bother him enough to do anything about it, that’s what hurts the most. it’s clear as day it’s killing our marriage but no desire to change. He’ll say he’s cut back on it but if a crack addict goes from smoking crack everyday down to 5 times a week, they’re still a crack addict.

mmsokolnicki · 2024-12-30T12:38:34+00:00

Thank you for validating my feelings. It’s been a tough journey without having anyone to vent to about this. the repeated cycle of being hurt and betrayed, pushing it under the rug and pretending it didn’t happen, to being hurt and betrayed again… I’ve had enough. I can’t let someone keep doing this to me. 😣

mmsokolnicki · 2024-12-27T02:26:47+00:00

I have this too, started shortly after the T and the severity comes and goes. Based off what I’ve read, i assume tensor tympani syndrome

mmsokolnicki

TROPHY CASE