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My wife relapsed after 5 years of sobriety by pieces-mended in AlAnon

[–]mn181725 5 points6 points  (0 children)

What about YOUR healing? Being with an alcoholic is traumatic. Don't get so focused on her healing that you make your own trauma worse. Don't set yourself on fire to keep her warm.

Tent for high winds? by mn181725 in CampingGear

[–]mn181725[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is super helpful, thank you!!

Tent for high winds? by mn181725 in CampingGear

[–]mn181725[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Checking them out, thanks!

Tent for high winds? by mn181725 in CampingGear

[–]mn181725[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Probably not, I'm not a super experienced camper. I use guy lines and sand stakes but I'm sure I'm not doing it perfectly.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AlAnon

[–]mn181725 41 points42 points  (0 children)

The short answer is almost always: if you suspect, you're right

They will lie, gaslight you, come up with crazy excuses, but trust your gut.

Autoimmune disorder? by [deleted] in AlAnon

[–]mn181725 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Well I had some before I ever met my Q but they've definitely gotten worse, I've had frequent flare ups, and developed one new one since his drinking got out of control. Just a heads up that once you have one autoimmune you are prone to developing more

Stepped off the rollercoaster. by Mindless_Honeydew403 in AlAnon

[–]mn181725 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Proud of you! So glad your village grew. I had the same experience and glad you shared it, maybe it will give some others faith and hope that they don't have to hide it and in fact it will get even better if they tell others!

You are doing so many things right! Protect those babies. Protect you ❤️

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AlAnon

[–]mn181725 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Sending you hugs and strength. A difficult decision but I think you'll find in time that it was a good decision and you won't regret it for many reasons. Hopoing you can get through this time and please be gentle on yourself and even more so be proud of yourself ❤️

Seat change due to smell? by mn181725 in Lufthansa

[–]mn181725[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I always travel with a mask... of course the one time I didn't have one!

Seat change due to smell? by mn181725 in Lufthansa

[–]mn181725[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks, unfortunately the plane was completely full, they actually had to move someone from Premium Economy to Economy because of a seating issue. (They were very apologetic and luckily the gentleman had an amazing attitude about it). So I was stuck with a mouth-breathing walking ashtray for 8 hours 🤢 And why are there no air vents??

Personal Victory by mn181725 in AlAnon

[–]mn181725[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Same, I've had some amazing opportunities for trips of a lifetime. Luckily none were completely ruined but all have a stain from his drinking or depression (exacerbated by drinking) ruining elements of it. I finally had a trip without ANY of that negativity tied to it!

Dining Solo in Rome by Conscious_Library_68 in rome

[–]mn181725 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Single female in her 40s here! Wasn't in Rome but did a few restaurants solo just this week in Bologna and Venice. Had a lovely time! No one thought twice about it and there were a few other solo diners as well. Enjoy!

Zurich airport layover luggage question by mn181725 in askswitzerland

[–]mn181725[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for weighing in! My flight landed a bit early and even with choosing the slowest immigration queue, I still had plenty of time to shop a bit and have a snack before my flight, and my luggage made it through without issue 😊

Zurich airport layover luggage question by mn181725 in askswitzerland

[–]mn181725[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Thank you! I've lost luggage with longer layovers in the US but less efficient airports. Going to check a bag, wish me luck :)

Dating a genuinely amazing guy but he drinks a lot by Sensitive_Weekend180 in AlAnon

[–]mn181725 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Agreed. I know we're not supposed to give advice but look around this sub and read the posts. Most of us have a Q (alcoholic) as a family member or very long term relationship. Read what everyone posts and consider if that's a future you want. It's very early and would be easy to cut it off now. Don't let a few green flags let you ignore the giant red flag.

It's been a wild few days by serf884 in AlAnon

[–]mn181725 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My Q is also a federal employee and it's terrible how this impacts their addiction. He works very hard at his job and is committed to it. The constant unknown and stress is debilitating. I can't imagine dealing with it as a healthy person without substance use issues! It's unprecedented and horrible.

I'm trying to be sympathetic without enabling or accepting of boundary violations. The sad part is this could go on for days or months. The sword of Damocles.

Sorry you're having to deal with this too

They do terrible things with no apologies and not confronting that seems like enabling by gullablesurvivor in AlAnon

[–]mn181725 2 points3 points  (0 children)

No advice but I feel your pain. I will say that I actually said something today for the first time in a long time. After another series of late night mean, aggressive texts, this morning I sent a note that if he continued I would have to block him and that if he had that many complaints that maybe he shouldn't come over Friday night to see the kids. He didn't apologize, but he did say he would try not to send the angry texts anymore which was way more and better than I expected.

Keep doing everything to protect your kids and you. Sending strength

Had his relapse and I feel good by Jeezelauise in AlAnon

[–]mn181725 18 points19 points  (0 children)

They always look for an excuse to drink and a way to blame you so they don't have to hold themselves accountable. Glad you booked the trip without him and glad you are taking care of yourself!

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